Hello everyone! So yesterday marked 8 months of HRT for me! To be honest, I haven't noticed too many changes from the hormones lately, so this thread is going to be more about the social aspect of my transition and just about my life in general
I'll start with the hormone changes. I think my face does look a little more feminine, but I have a hard time capturing it in pictures. I definitely notice it when I look in the mirror though and that's what's important to me, and it makes me smile more!
No real changes in the body hair or my skin since my 6 month update unfortunately. I have another visit with the doctor in a month so hopefully my dose will be upped once more, then I think I'm at the max. The soreness in my breasts has calmed down a bit, but they're still a little sensitive. I think I've had some slight mental changes lately though, I seem a lot more sympathetic when I see sad stories in the news now. I mean, it always made me feel bad to hear about something tragic but I'm definitely feeling it more now. I think in my 6 month update I mentioned that I feel between genders, definitely not male anymore but not quite female yet. I think that's changed, I definitely feel feminine most of the time now, which I'm excited about!
I've decided on my last name too. I haven't felt attached to my last name since my parents got divorced, I even go by a fake name on social media, I named myself after a band I used to be in. I decided to go with Madeline Louise Novak as my full name. I don't personally know any other Madelines, I didn't want anyone I know thinking that I'm stealing their name lol! My first dog's name was "Princess Louise", so I named my middle name after her hehe. I actually had a dream last week where she visited me and gave me kisses, so I think she approves <3 and Novak is my maternal grandmother's maiden name. I think my full name has a nice ring to it and I like having a last name that honors my grandmother and my Slovak heritage, I've always felt more Slovak than the German and Scottish heritage from my father's side of the family.
I've been bonding with my older sister more, which I absolutely love. We're still pretty different people but I always have a good time when I see her. The other day she called me just to talk and we ended up chatting for almost 40 minutes! Friday we actually went clothes shopping together for the first time, which is something I wanted to do for years! I'm so happy we finally got to, even if my haul was minimal lol, then we went again yesterday too. When I was shopping though I was still presenting as male, which sucks, because when I do that I'm afraid to take things into the dressing room to try them on, so right now I've just been buying basic stuff that I know will fit me, but soon I need to go shopping as Maddie and try things on to expand my wardrobe. I plan on going full time in May and I really only have just a few outfits since I lost so much weight, and most of my clothes are warmer winter clothes! I think having more clothes that are cute and fit me well will be great for my confidence.
Speaking of my confidence, it's getting better! Last night I went out with a couple girlfriends dressed as Maddie and I wasn't even really that nervous, I even used a public Women's bathroom for the first time! We went to Ithaca NY, which is a pretty liberal town, so I felt safe. We went to an antique store and we went downtown for dinner and I didn't notice anyone staring at me, so things went well! I'm dressing up again next weekend to go see my therapist, maybe after that I'll try to go shopping somewhere while I'm still dressed up!
I tried getting a couple pics last night but nothing really came out good, but I did get an ok car selfie so I'll post it here. I wanna work on my makeup a bit and try to tone it down a little if I can, I think I might drop the eyeliner and try to find a lighter lipstick. I wish I could go a lot lighter on the concealer/foundation, but it will be a few years until I can do that since I still have a lot of electrolysis to go through. I think I gotta work on my contouring though, but I've gotten good at doing my hair!
other than that I don't think I have anything else really to update, I should be moving into a new apartment in the next 3 to 4 weeks, so I am VERY excited for that! This next week I am going to work on my coming out letters to my dad and facebook. Oh and I came out to a trans woman last night that I've known for a while. She actually runs a local support group, so I think I'm going to go in a few weeks! Things are starting to shape up!
