It's funny to see the dress-code stuff and the corporate thrashing-about to continue to try and fit everyone into the Western cultural binary.
My last employer (Apple) was a good bit looser when it came to the engineering staff tucked in the corporate headquarters. They were also quite transition-friendly. A couple acquaintances transitioned MtF while I was there, with no issues, lots of HR handholding to make sure the workplace handled it well, and minimal drama and dress code friction.
Sometimes I wish I had transitioned there, in my 40s. But, it is what it is, I'm full time and have been for a while, am happy, and loving my current life in spite of self imposed tasks and stresses.
I'm out in the world every day, not hiding, and rarely have issues. Right now I'm sitting in a Black Bear diner after my electrolysis appointment, just eyebrows and lipstick, dark Merlot cowl top and matching skinny jeans. No issues, no misgendering. Not even a glance from anyone. My friendly regular waitress knows, and we chat, mostly wedding plans (hers) and family stuff (mostly hers). She knows what I am up to, of course, as I do share.
Every day is my Transgender Day of Visibility, but hardly anyone notices.
Every once on a great while I'll notice someone looking hard as they walk past, the occasional old lady scowling at this heathen transgressor. Sometimes a younger woman looking, then smiling. I smile back.
Occasionally I catch a man looking, but their focus is not in my face. Ahem. "My eyes are up here."
I hardly pass, but people just don't look that closely, and rarely assume that someone might be a transgender person. They are more concerned with not tripping, with crossing the street safely, with that shopping list or that meeting with their boss. That they might be sharing a restaurant or sidewalk with a trans woman rarely, if ever occurs to them.
The biggest risk is the bored idler, deliberately looking for their next victim to harass or bully. They're rare where I usually am, only occasionally turning up at rail stations or outside neighborhood hangouts, and they won't go after someone who looks confident and is moving quickly.
That look of self confidence, shoulders back, head high, back straight is far more important for passing on the street than FFS. People won't bother anyone who looks like they belong there.
Looking nervous, hunched over, shoulders drawn inward, on the other hand reads as "hiding something". Now others are provoked by their own instincts to figure out what we are hiding with that posture, looking closer, until... we are clocked.
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