As I have been dressing for the past few months I've noticed I imagine the softer sides of things. Gentle touches and kissing etc. Has this happened to anyone else? Granted men don't turn me on but the more I think about it, dressed I could be the "girl" in a relationship like that. I don't know. Thoughts?

I crossdressed for about 55 years. I hoped and prayed to be a woman but did it cause me to think/be more feminine? Unfortunately no.  I wondered what it would be like but that was the extent of it. Since being confirmed transgender and beginning HRT I am seeing a marked increase in compassion, being unselfish, loving, intimate (not sexual),  So far it has taken a year of coaching to get my voice even remotely feminine. To give you an idea how much it changed I spoke to my ex for the first time in forty years and she knew immediately it was me.

Quote from: CDGwen76 on January 19, 2018, 12:39:48 PM
As I have been dressing for the past few months I've noticed I imagine the softer sides of things. Gentle touches and kissing etc. Has this happened to anyone else? Granted men don't turn me on but the more I think about it, dressed I could be the "girl" in a relationship like that. I don't know. Thoughts?

I did after being on hrt a year. Still identify with feminine way of seeing things and being gentler, but definitely not into men for sexual attraction. I will always be the femme in any relationship, but two femmes can have fun deciding who is good at what roles in relationship. I never believed it was a 50-50 relationship, but rather two intertwined into a fine tapestry.

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Quote from: CDGwen76 on January 19, 2018, 12:39:48 PM
As I have been dressing for the past few months I've noticed I imagine the softer sides of things. Gentle touches and kissing etc. Has this happened to anyone else? Granted men don't turn me on but the more I think about it, dressed I could be the "girl" in a relationship like that. I don't know. Thoughts?

It might not even be the dressing. It could be just a natural progression. I find the more I  interact, posting or chatting, as me the more feminine I think and act that day. And I do not think i usually get 100% back to where i was before....

And the softer side does not mean it has to be with a man. My best friend says she can picture me in a relationship with a more masculine woman, where I would essentially be the wife in the relationship. (I also have a little bit of a domestic side...). I just tell her if one does, she better be ready to be a maid of honor....

Cding really made me feel more true to myself but there was shame for a long time. Thabk goodness it's mostly gone.
I'm at bisexual male far more attracted to women but I'm open to seeing where things go. I can't see myself dTing a man but once on hrt I'm not going to fight it if that's where it takes me.

--Sasha

Quote from: FionaM on February 19, 2018, 02:00:12 PM
It might not even be the dressing. It could be just a natural progression. I find the more I  interact, posting or chatting, as me the more feminine I think and act that day. And I do not think i usually get 100% back to where i was before....

And the softer side does not mean it has to be with a man.

This is what I have found with myself,  a combination of dressing, interacting, window and catalog shopping etc have increased my femme side but when I swing back its never as far as before - like a pendulum slowly moving to the other side.
Sonja

Psychologists have long noted the tendency of people to shape personality, to some extent, based on the clothing they wear. People who wear uniforms tend to act more like soldiers. People who dress formally tend to act formally. It's pretty obvious that if you are a genetic male and you start dressing in feminine attire you will probably begin to think and behave more like a woman. Function often follows form.

It could just be that you are naturally feminine, and when you dress your real gender, you find it easier to be who you really are.

Quote from: WhatAmI? on March 28, 2018, 06:05:51 AM
It could just be that you are naturally feminine, and when you dress your real gender, you find it easier to be who you really are.

Ah, which comes first-- the chicken or the egg? To quote that great philosopher, Spike from Buffy, "It doesn't matter as much from where you start as where you end up".

I find that I have to catch myself. I'm starting to mimic other women more. I watch them in awe and then subconsciously I try to stand or walk like they do. I have to be careful, I still have to wear my man suit for now as I'm in the construction industry boo!

For me it was more like people started treating me the way I thought I should be treated... I was in denial about being female on the inside all along

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Hi CDGwen,

  Yes.  You're right.  I share a body with the guy who's dominant most of the time (and for oh so many decades now) and that's ok.  I can always come out and look around whenever I want, he doesn't mind.  (In fact, I take care of him in many ways, tempering his male ways when they need tempering).

  But I had a chance to be out for several hours a day for about a year awhile back.  And I started noticing things that the guy had never noticed.  Colors for instance.  Shades of color didn't mean much to him.  But they do to me.  Likewise fragrances, even if its only in the vegetable and fruit isle.  The big guy never noticed, just walked on through picking up whatever he needed.  But for me, its a banquet.   And fabric/style.  No wonder we girls need more closet space -- there's so many different things that are just perfect for certain moments.  And shoes!  Well!!!!

  So yes, my awareness changed as I experienced life in fem.  And my physical awareness then led to an emotional awareness and softening.

  Which is a good thing.


      Love,  Caroline


 

It's interesting how many of these replies I see a little of myself in and how most of them look like the same sort of observations, from a different point of view.

The big thing I've noticed in myself is the progression. My feminine side swings from barely there to being nearly dominate in my life. This "swing" has a monthly cycle and yearly cycle. But in the last couple if years, the feminine side gets stronger and the masculine side gets weaker. I get excited as the feminine side builds, since that is more of my personality that people see. I am far more adventurous when I am feminine, and it is during these times that I am more likely to take a risk. (odd that for me, risk taking comes with the feminine side, but he is a couch potato.)

During the feminine peaks, my wife often tells me I am being too feminine, be it the way I walk, carry myself, describe something.

Oh, Anastasia, you're right.  There are cycles during which the femininity within me rises and falls like a tide.  I had just never noticed that they were periodical (probably the guy dominant thing, he seldom notices anything).

   Carolina

Good to hear I'm not the only girl this happens to. My boy side doesn't pay attention to all that stuff like I'm learning to do now. The smells and colors do become more pronounced. I admire girls styles and choices and instead of my boy thoughts would I "do" her it's more I wonder what she feels like and her kiss.

Quote from: CDGwen76 on September 24, 2018, 10:41:14 AM
Good to hear I'm not the only girl this happens to. My boy side doesn't pay attention to all that stuff like I'm learning to do now. The smells and colors do become more pronounced. I admire girls styles and choices and instead of my boy thoughts would I "do" her it's more I wonder what she feels like and her kiss.

Styles and choices instead of boy thoughts? I recently had a day where I chatted with a friend before going to work. Driving to work I saw a woman who, to be kind, was rather pear shaped walking along the road.... and my first thought was "Striped leggings with THOSE thighs? What are you thinking?"  Guess I had not shifted back all the way to male yet? (I definitely would have worn them better)