Hello all,

I am a 42 year old mtf transgender woman.  I have been married for 22 years.  I have had feelings of being the wrong gender since my first conscious memories.  After a lifetime  of depression and heartache, I finally get to live my dream and become a female. 

My story, from what I have been told, is very typical for those of us going through this.  I tried to bury this away and be the person the world wanted me to be, but just became more and more unhappy as time went on.  I told my parents when I was a teenager, but they chalked it up to confusion and convinced me that there was something wrong with me and that I should try and forget those feelings.    Easy for them to say.

I then met my wife who I still dearly love and would like to stay with.  While she has let me amass a huge collection of women's clothes, she never allowed it out of the house.  She always considered  it an excentricity.  Anytime I wanted to take it further, I received major pushback to the point of arguments.  She did not understand and I was not being forthcoming. 

Now we arrive at today.  After nearly dying from an emergency medical issue late last year, I realize that time is fleeting.  I have spent my whole life being miserable and hating who I was.  It was time to tell her about who I really am.

After several emotional conversations with me and a session with my therapist, she sees what I have known for my entire life, that I can only be happy as a female.  She is now fully on board and is my savior!  She is as impatient as I am now to transition and start our life a new. 

I am currently seeing a transgender therapist and have my appointment for hrt scheduled on June 5th.  I am extremely excited and hopeful for the future now.  I used to worry about what people will think, but the thought of getting to be a female, alleviates that concern for me. 

Thanks for listening to my story.  I am looking forward to asking questions and getting some great advice and support from you all here in the coming weeks and months. 

Thank you so much!

Olivia

Hi Olivia 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
It feels so wonderful to be honest with yourself and others in your life.  Next the world!
Your on the right track with therapy for you and your wife. 
I see your new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Pay attention to the site rules they can be of great help and don't forget the link highlighted red.  It has answers to questions that are commonly asked.  Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.

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Thanks Jessica I will check them out. 

Hi Olivia 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Olivia, I really like your name! I chose it as my middle name. I was a long time lurker before joining in, a lot of the knowledge I have gained has really helped me and I am sure you will find the same.

Thank you V M.  I see you are in the great northwestern united states.  As am I     Great place e to live. 


Thank you as well Brandi.  I hope Olivia sticks. I gave my daughter a say in my name since coming out to her and my wife and she has already changed her mind once.  She is having a good time with this.  Lol  frankly I don't care what my name is, as long as I get to be female.

Heya Olivia!!

Hi Olivia! I can really relate to your story - more than a couple parallels with my own. I am about the same age as you and finally taking ownership of my own happiness. See ya around!

That is awesome, Olivia! I hope my wife is as supportive as yours! It's all about having loved ones.

I agree completely with your sentiments. I was very depressed and hated myself, too, so typical I guess, but each one of us is unique and I'm just glad it seems like you're at a place where you can truly be happy!

Truth be told, im only slightly younger than you, but if not for my particular situation/circumstances I would have never walked down this path. And I do think, your wife being supportive of your crossdressing around the house helped a great deal for the both of you!

Thank you for sharing, and welcome to the community!

Hi Olivia,

  I'm Laurie, the wandering waif of Susan's Place. I just wanted to drop by and welcome you into the community. We are glad you are here. It is really nice to read your wife is supportive. I was decades to late in discovering what was wrong with me to stop the destruction of my marriage and family. It took me 64 years to find out I was transgender and begin HRT. I am glad you were able to discover your solution sooner.
  Soon you will begin to feel the changes in yourself. You will become a happier person and a better spouse for your wife. I wish you and your wife well and a wonderful future.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Alyssa Bree on April 29, 2018, 11:43:37 PM
Hi Olivia! I can really relate to your story - more than a couple parallels with my own. I am about the same age as you and finally taking ownership of my own happiness. See ya around!

I know that it shouldn't matter, but it always makes me feel better about myself to know others have been through similar things.     Thanks Alyssa

Quote from: Eryn T on April 30, 2018, 01:43:54 AM
That is awesome, Olivia! I hope my wife is as supportive as yours! It's all about having loved ones.

I agree completely with your sentiments. I was very depressed and hated myself, too, so typical I guess, but each one of us is unique and I'm just glad it seems like you're at a place where you can truly be happy!

Truth be told, im only slightly younger than you, but if not for my particular situation/circumstances I would have never walked down this path. And I do think, your wife being supportive of your crossdressing around the house helped a great deal for the both of you!

Thank you for sharing, and welcome to the community!

Thank you!  It took a few weeks for her to completely understand, but now she has gotten over any hang ups and realizes that this is best for both of us.  She knows how unhappy I have been and how that affects her. she understands that, while hard, transitioning is the only option and will make our relationship even better. 

Quote from: Laurie on April 30, 2018, 05:51:49 PM
Hi Olivia,

  I'm Laurie, the wandering waif of Susan's Place. I just wanted to drop by and welcome you into the community. We are glad you are here. It is really nice to read your wife is supportive. I was decades to late in discovering what was wrong with me to stop the destruction of my marriage and family. It took me 64 years to find out I was transgender and begin HRT. I am glad you were able to discover your solution sooner.
  Soon you will begin to feel the changes in yourself. You will become a happier person and a better spouse for your wife. I wish you and your wife well and a wonderful future.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Thank you so much.  I am glad that I was able to figure this out when I did.  I'm in the best possible place personally and professionally to do this with as little trouble as possible.  My only regret is that I wish I had the vision and courage to do this much earlier in my life.

Hey Olivia!

I think letting your daughter help pick your name is am amazing idea!  What a way to let her take some ownership in your transition!

I'm also glad to hear that you're finally getting the chance to be the woman you were born to be!

Welcome to Susan's place! <3

Quote from: Jacey Jones on April 30, 2018, 08:02:15 PM
Hey Olivia!

I think letting your daughter help pick your name is am amazing idea!  What a way to let her take some ownership in your transition!

I'm also glad to hear that you're finally getting the chance to be the woman you were born to be!

Welcome to Susan's place! <3

Thank you so much!  She has been awesome ever since we told her. 

Quote from: Olivia_kayley on April 29, 2018, 08:42:20 PM
Thank you as well Brandi.  I hope Olivia sticks. I gave my daughter a say in my name since coming out to her and my wife and she has already changed her mind once.  She is having a good time with this.  Lol  frankly I don't care what my name is, as long as I get to be female.

I did the exact same thing! I did choose my first name, but had narrowed down my middle name to around 4 or 5 different choices and my daughter chose the one she liked best. I think she made the perfect choice 

Quote from: BrandiYYC on April 30, 2018, 10:25:54 PM
I did the exact same thing! I did choose my first name, but had narrowed down my middle name to around 4 or 5 different choices and my daughter chose the one she liked best. I think she made the perfect choice 

Thanks!   I really like Brandi as well.