I don't really give a damn anymore. At some point the semantics and the hair-splitting really has to stop. All that matters in the end is being as comfortable as humanly possible. How I refer to myself behind closed doors with my doctor is between me and them; how I refer to myself in the company of strangers is between me and them, how I refer to myself in the company of close friends is between me and them, how I refer to myself between me and my husband is between me and him, and how I refer to myself when I'm alone is nobody's business.
There's no one way to go about it. Let the doctors do their thing, let the layfolk do theirs, and let me do mine. I care about what science says about as much of the time as I do traffic laws - that is, when it's important to civility, keeping reasonably safe, and if it's absolutely vital to getting to where I need to go. But beyond that, get out of my way.