Like HRT growing boobs wtc?

I'm going to make a list but this one I just got today. Went out in a t-shirt, jeans, and no make up, just had my hair back; too sort to tie just yet, and everyone called me she/miss/ma'am (I hate ma'am). I really wasn't expecting that.  Wonder whats next?

I keep track of the major ones: coming out in private & in public, starting HRT, etc.  But there are lots of little ones that I haven't kept track of: first time dressing in public (I kind of snuck in there gradually through presenting androgynously), first time being addressed as "ma'am" or "ladies".  I remember how they fels, and, in many cases where I was, but not the dates.

Since starting HRT I have been recording stuff on a calendar.  Mostly is for me to remember to take my medication as I put an X on the day to mark that I've taken them. I've put down first time out in public. The days I have gone full time in certain areas of my life; like work and home. I took measurements of my body before starting HRT. I can check and see how much I've changed. I have an identical twin and even after only 3 months, I see a big difference in how I look compared to him.

Absolutely!! The day I came out, hrt and soon enough surgery will be yet another landmark! On the other hand  the mundane life of just living as the woman I was born to be is just as amazing. Sure you don't get that peaked euphoric high thatnyou do when you get your first ma'am or starting hrt or what not but you still get your euphoria, just in a calm form. It's so validating. My mental health hasn't been this great perhaps ever!

I started keeping a personal pen & paper journal (along with appropriate doodling) when I was in high school and when I started to transition over 4 years ago I started a special section just for transition related stuff.   I also, like many others on here, have a personal thread that I keep updated with my life goings-on related to my life endeavors living my life as a full-time female and the issues I encounter with work, friends and my romantic entanglements.

The added benefit of keeping a journal is that it allows the writing down of good times, bad times, frustrations, disappointments and subsequent solutions.... I personally have found this to be all very good therapy as I can explore my feelings and emotions privately on paper.  The slightly less personal (and less embarrassing) stuff I can post here on my forums personal thread and other threads as I feel so led.

      @Lexi Nexi ... I would encourage you to do those things... it will be most enjoyable to read later on in your life...  and your personal thread here on the Forums can provide information and encouragement to other transitioners as they are in their own journeys.

Danielle

I too keep a journal, putting the milestones I find important on the inside front cover.  It also gives me an excuse to write with my fountain pens and colorful (permanent) inks!

Ryuichi

I keep an online journal here of whatever comes to mind at the time. Never actually read it from end to end as its gotten quite long but it helps me organize my thoughts.

I did till I hit the economic roadblock that I have yet to even dent in 6 years. Used to have fun tracking though was a very enthralling activity to see development.

I write constantly and have my thread here. I have noted all my significant milestones. The thing I really spend time on is the photo record. I have been taking a photo a day for the first year on HRT and then the second year is about once a week and now heading into the third year is 2-3 times a month. I have put them into a time line so you can see the changes. I have also combined them into a movie using a photo per frame but when I did that I only had about 6 months of photos and it takes many more than that to create a clip. I may even spend some time over the next couple of days and put together a small clip to share.

Take care


Liz

I haven't been in acceptance of my transgender identity for very long, so there's not much for me to track.  However, I did just get my letter for HRT from my therapist and that is something special to me.  I may just frame that letter, and the date I got it is definitely going in my record book.

I am making picture albums/scrapbooks from each year into my transition. Just small ones like 20 pages with the most memorable moments in that year. On the rear inside from the hardcover, I attach copies of my letters/documents I received. I am in my fourth year/book.

I keep records of all dates of appointments with therapist, GP and endo and details HRT and all Blood Test results and dates of telling and whom I told and other somewhat relevant dates including items of clothing bought.

Pamela

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on August 01, 2018, 11:28:23 AM
Absolutely!! The day I came out, hrt and soon enough surgery will be yet another landmark! On the other hand  the mundane life of just living as the woman I was born to be is just as amazing. Sure you don't get that peaked euphoric high thatnyou do when you get your first ma'am or starting hrt or what not but you still get your euphoria, just in a calm form. It's so validating. My mental health hasn't been this great perhaps ever!

The novelty does wear off quickly. I have already stopped subconsciously looking when someone says sir in public plus they are not talking about me anyways. But the thrill of buying girls clothes like when cross dressing and saying they are for your imaginary GF is gone and now is chore since all the sizes don't make sense between brands. Also learned there are code words like I don't shop in the "women" section but rather the "misses" because "womans" means big and tall. Took me moths to figure that out, just thought it was mens/womens. And petite doesn't mean small it means short because I'm thick not petite but my pants are petite. I'm sure there are more I haven't figured out.

The best advice is don't buy a whole bunch of clothes at once. Twice I have changed size first after starting the hormones then again as I start to curve out. Some thing have gone up in size others down. Didn't think that was possible like band size on bra shrinking. Some one needs to write a tutorial or owner's manual on the mtf body.

RESTART BEING TRANS

WWhen I started HRT feb last year I was going female 90% of the time. But then six months ago depression reality a bad living situation and housing discrimination saet in. For a while I was just wearing baggy t shirts and womens jeans (only because none of my mems fit any more I tied my hair back and was just like any long hair dude. But I still got called ma'am or mis. If I wore one pink thing no one would call me sir. No make uo not trying to stand walk talk girly which is waaaay different then when I am in guy mode and just got sick of being inbetween, Worst is youre in a ->-bleeped-<-ty mood and your dressed like ->-bleeped-<- and you are told "This is the mens room" and you don't belong in the womans room at based on how I felt I was dressed. An incident while in baggy clothes in the ladies room would have gone down bad but its impossible to pees  when people are telling you to leave. AAAAAAARGGHHH I just got sick of it all and had this really vivid lucid dream that taught me how to be trans how to be a girl how to be fem, it was great I kept waking myself up from the dream taking notes taking an ambian to go back to sleep did that about 3 times still wish I got it all. But here I am always doing my make up and hair 1st thing, always waering my flowery girl clothes and dresses. Everything I buy is a tombom butch lesbians nightmare ware drobe. The least comfortable it is the more I like it! I think I have a new name for myself Nichole perhaps while I like Lexi and that what some people call me and some of my ID's say it sounds to much like lexus a stripper name or Alexandra a name I hate. Some times the best way to pass is to blend in. Nichole can also be chole or chloe'. Oh and my boobs just keep growing. I haven't made any attempt to keep my weight down or diet as Ideally I wan't the figure of a curvy hourglass full figure girl, like pin up girls. My butt is 2x bigger finally but its still shapped liked a guy butt I hate it and it causes HUGE self esteame issues especially since sexually I like doggy style and put in restraints with it facing out at BDSM clubs and I go from a kind of cute passible transgirl to a gross man cross dressor butt. Even if I could afford surgury my hips are small. Luckily I'm a small person so I don't suffer from V shape or big shoulders but if I could fix from my belly button to the top of my nice thick theighs I would do porn and be proud of it. I don't think I could do porn When I started HRT feb last year I was going female 90% of the time. But then six months ago depression reality a bad living situation and housing discrimination saet in. For a while I was just wearing baggy t shirts and womens jeans (only because none of my mems fit any more I tied my hair back and was just like any long hair dude. But I still got called ma'am or mis. If I wore one pink thing no one would call me sir. No make uo not trying to stand walk talk girly which is waaaay different then when I am in guy mode and just got sick of being inbetween, Worst is youre in a ->-bleeped-<-ty mood and your dressed like ->-bleeped-<- and you are told "This is the mens room" and you don't belong in the womans room at based on how I felt I was dressed. An incident while in baggy clothes in the ladies room would have gone down bad but its impossible to pees  when people are telling you to leave. AAAAAAARGGHHH I just got sick of it all and had this really vivid lucid dream that taught me how to be trans how to be a girl how to be fem, it was great I kept waking myself up from the dream taking notes taking an ambian to go back to sleep did that about 3 times still wish I got it all. But here I am always doing my make up and hair 1st thing, always waering my flowery girl clothes and dresses. Everything I buy is a tombom butch lesbians nightmare ware drobe. The least comfortable it is the more I like it! I think I have a new name for myself Nichole perhaps while I like Lexi and that what some people call me and some of my ID's say it sounds to much like lexus a stripper name or Alexandra a name I hate. Some times the best way to pass is to blend in. Nichole can also be chole or chloe'. Oh and my boobs just keep growing. I haven't made any attempt to keep my weight down or diet as Ideally I wan't the figure of a curvy hourglass full figure girl, like pin up girls. My butt is 2x bigger finally but its still shapped liked a guy butt I hate it and it causes HUGE self esteame issues especially since sexually I like doggy style and put in restraints with it facing out at BDSM clubs and I go from a kind of cute passible transgirl to a gross man cross dressor butt. Even if I could afford surgury my hips are small. Luckily I'm a small person so I don't suffer from V shape or big shoulders but if I could fix from my belly button to the top of my nice thick theighs I would do porn and be proud of it. I don't think I could do porn now.


Plus I have hit the no return point (wish someone told me that this would happen so soon) so I have to go forward. Breasts this bigb/c are not going to go away with test. and weight lost, they are convex and have big puffy nipples. WAYpast gynocomastia surgury  The nipples alone would stick out through a shirt if the boobs were gone. So I have to wear a bra when ever I'm out in public, plus they bounce and it hurts if Im walkig fast. Also my face has changed a lot. I don't think that is reverseable. I noticed it felt weird like the fat was thicker/thinner in different places but about 6 months ago my thrapist said after not seeing me for a month "I don't know exactly how but you face just looks feminine" Around that time looking in the mirror was a guess between placebo effect real change or self doubt seeing his face come back. My face was alway really feminine, more then one someone at one point said I should get plastic surgury to correct it. I smiled on the inside knowing one day that would come in handy when I became trans. Although sucked as a kid when they would always mistake me for a girl especially when my voice was high.

Since this is going on forever I hope it serves as an owners manual to someone else who realizes transitioning is about 1% what you expect it to be and 90% surprises and 9% crying out in public because the store is out of chocolate ice cream. The other perminate thing besides the face seems to be the shrinkage of the both the penis and testicles. They told me testicles would shrink they have some what but mine were never big I alway fit right into M and L sized womens underware even the sexy ones (That I can say is one of my favorite parts of my transition. I couldn't imagine having your junk get in the way or wearing boxers under all these pretty clothes. I also can wear the real nasty skanky underwear under my normal girls clothes, and its my little secret. But what worries me is the pennis is getting really small, like I have to sit down to pee some times its too far back to pull out and aim. Once a month when I have the urge to jerk off (although never able to finsh EVER except that one time clear stuff came out) its like down to 3". If I do need SRS thats a very small vagina. For me I'm straight: I like to have sex with women as a man, don't like gay sex, but I WOULD LOVE to have sex with a man as a women with a proper butt and vagina. I feel claustrophbic that I'm technically a virgin right now. Maybe I can get used to anal its justwell blechhhhh...nasty. Feel like I have to go when hes in then I worry about making a mess the whole time nd cant focus on the sex even though there is nothing to go out.

Anyways theres just some thing about feeling my soft pale skin with just a little bit of body fat under accented with bright pink toes and fingernales with matching bra and panties that feel like they were made for me. Some people like boxer shorts or loose cotton brefs I'll take the smooth siky ones (and some times the leather ones) anyday that is comfort and class.

I had another part of this but I hit the back space key taking back the browser what a stupid udse for that key. So many great works of literature have been lost by me pressing that key.
one day Im going to make a manual for all transgirls with my body type and genetics. Its like we were born to be women but but that damn butt!!!!!! I need a sign that I can hold out at the intersection "hungry,need fat to depositin/around my ass. Will work but not to hard for food and burn off those precious butt calories.

Quote from: Lexi Nexi on August 01, 2018, 09:56:19 AM
Like HRT growing boobs wtc?

I'm going to make a list but this one I just got today. Went out in a t-shirt, jeans, and no make up, just had my hair back; too sort to tie just yet, and everyone called me she/miss/ma'am (I hate ma'am). I really wasn't expecting that.  Wonder whats next?

I used to. Then I realized so many things had changed that the overwhelming evidence was that I had reached my goal so it was no longer needed.

Quote from: krobinson103 on May 19, 2019, 11:44:09 PM
I used to. Then I realized so many things had changed that the overwhelming evidence was that I had reached my goal so it was no longer needed.

That's what I'm finding its seems less and less like "transitioning" and just living life as a transgirl. I still have my family call me by my male name unless we are out in public because it seems weird to have them say that on days where I'm not feeling trans and not living up to the part. I guess that's what gets me it seems to take effort everyday. My dysphoria is body hair and I refuse to dress more then boxers and a t shirt if I'm starting to grow facial hair. I could only handle one laser treatment so sounds silly but I think being a she being called a she or anything like that and having even a 5'oclock shadow is totally disgusting. Luckily the hormones make it so you wont have a 5oclock shadow as long as you shave first thing every morning. I couldn't imagine waking up next to a guy in the morning and have him lean over to kiss and have his stubble grind on yours. As a former straight guy that would be just about my #1 turnoff before maybe throwing up hungover.

I don't think about milestones.  I don't recall dates with clarity as such details hold little significance to me.

Quote from: Lexi Nexi on May 20, 2019, 01:21:03 AM

That's what I'm finding its seems less and less like "transitioning" and just living life as a transgirl. I still have my family call me by my male name unless we are out in public because it seems weird to have them say that on days where I'm not feeling trans and not living up to the part. I guess that's what gets me it seems to take effort everyday. My dysphoria is body hair and I refuse to dress more then boxers and a t shirt if I'm starting to grow facial hair. I could only handle one laser treatment so sounds silly but I think being a she being called a she or anything like that and having even a 5'oclock shadow is totally disgusting. Luckily the hormones make it so you wont have a 5oclock shadow as long as you shave first thing every morning. I couldn't imagine waking up next to a guy in the morning and have him lean over to kiss and have his stubble grind on yours. As a former straight guy that would be just about my #1 turnoff before maybe throwing up hungover.

I read my reply to you in August of last year and I can honestly say I agree with you its just about living life. As Year for rumbles to a close I have to remind myself to take photos for my record and since declaring my physical transition over I have even less desire to record anything...I must finish my movie transition time line LOL Maybe one day

Liz

Quote from: LizK on May 20, 2019, 02:56:46 AM
I read my reply to you in August of last year and I can honestly say I agree with you its just about living life. As Year four rumbles to a close I have to remind myself to take photos for my record and since declaring my physical transition over I have even less desire to record anything...I must finish my movie transition time line LOL Maybe one day

Liz

GCS then voice surgery, what are you doing here? You're cis!!! Congrats. I have a feeling I will always be trans don't know why maybe just because I only need to be feminine and on HRT not necessarily fully female More unique like a unicorn.

Quote from: Lexi Nexi on May 20, 2019, 03:36:12 AM

GCS then voice surgery, what are you doing here? ......

When I needed a place to cry, laugh and learn Susans was the only place I felt safe...the people on this board accepted me unconditionally and listened to my whining but also shared my joys and my accomplishments. I want to return that generosity of spirit to others as my way of saying thankyou