Howdy everyone, I have officially been taking estrogen for 1 year today, it's been a wild ride and this will be a long post.
I started a thread that evening, I will quote the first post here:
Quote from: AnamethatstartswithE on August 22, 2017, 09:23:01 PM
So this morning I had my doctor's appointment with a doctor who does transition related medicine. Since I made the appointment last week I've been getting more and more excited until yesterday when I just started feeling scared. I'm still a little scared, but this is something I need to do.
Everyone at the office was very nice, but I found it a little disconcerting that everyone who worked there knew I was trans. They all asked if I had a different preferred name, etc. I get that they're trying to make me feel comfortable, but I'm so uncomfortable talking about it that it just kind of wierded me out.
When the doctor came she went over what to expect and what we would do. We took some blood to determine what and how much testosterone suppression is needed, I find that out on monday. I also got my first and last prostate exam, so yay?
One of three things will come from this,
1) I end up feeling worse in which case I'm not Trans, and I can move on with my life.
2) I feel much better in which case it's skirts and heels for the rest of my life.
3) I'm somewhere in the middle and I don't gain enough to offset the intense change this would make to my life, this one is my biggest fear.
Anyway, let the chickification begin.
Luckily for me I landed on number 2 and while I'm not too into heels, I wear skirts at every opportunity. I can remember it like it was yesterday how scared and nervous I was, I wish I could go back in time and give myself a big hug and say that everything will be alright. I remember for the first week or so I would have thoughts like, "Oh my god, I'm driving to work, with estrogen in me!" or "I'm sitting at work, With estrogen in me!"
What was amazing was that I never knew just how much better I could feel until I started HRT, looking back I'm oretty sure that I've had high functioning depression since junior high school, as well as anxiety. I never sought treatment because I didn't know anything was wrong, that was normal for me. As much as I've enjoyed the physical changes the mental ones have been far more dramatic. I can actually feel joy just by existing, I didn't know that was possible.
I've been taking photos every morning since 8/23/17 (unless I'm traveling) So here's a year of HRT on an athletic 34-35 year old:
I tend to pass from medium to long distance, though I do sometimes get cashiers going "Here you go S---" or "here you go M---." I do think I'm improving though since lately I've started to notice guys checking me out. Here's how I dressed going to work (I wear sandals at work, it's very wet here so I take my footwear off when I enter my house)
A lot has happened since last August. I started coming out to HR and my supervisor at the end of February I was shaking when I told him, but he was very understanding and was very helpful both with dealing with HR and making sure everything went smoothly with my coworkers. I have been out and full time since June 15.
My family has been something of a mixed bag. My sister is fine with me being trans, my mother started out seeing it as something that needed to be contained, though now she has gotten better. She's actually started giving me fashion advice. My father has had real problems with it, he had trouble even looking at me at one point, though I think that he is getting better.
I really need to buckle down and get going with my document changes, plus I have jury duty next week, so more fun to come. I enjoy doing these monthly updates and I wanted to share with everyone who is looking to transition that even if they have a later start, they can still try for happiness. And for those who can't move forward, you can do so vicariously through me.
