Quote from: Karen on September 25, 2018, 01:08:09 AM
I have been on AA for 2 months and doing so much better. Much less anxious and a much clearer mind. My T dropped to almost zero very quickly.
Can anyone who started with AA and then went to add estrogen speak to the incremental emotional impact of estrogen?
So a bit of a disclaimer here: I suffered through pretty awful dysphoria for over 2 decades before I started transitioning, and despite being in my early 30s when I started, I've been told by several folks that I'm getting better than average results from HRT, so your mileage may vary.
I was only on AA for about a month before adding estrogen. The AA alone cut down on my brain fog a fair bit, made me feel somewhat more present, and boosted my mood a little. I also had significantly more energy on the AA than before, which is pretty counter intuitive, but I'm guessing it was from the mental changes.
In my case, adding the estrogen was huge, even at a 1/4-1/2 transition dose: within a few days I felt vastly more 'present' and aware of myself and the world around me than I did on the AA alone. My mood was significantly better and I started having good days instead of tolerable days for the first time in decades.
At around 2 weeks on estrogen, the way I experienced attraction and romantic feelings started changing - I always used to have a massive disconnect between my mind and body in that area and pretty much any kind of romantic thoughts used to make me feel frustrated, conflicted, confused, and just generally awful. After a couple weeks on estrogen though, things synced up between my mind and body, and now being attracted to someone or having someone flirt with me actually feels really good!
By around 3-4 weeks I felt more emotional and more expressive - I was varying my voice pitch more when speaking, using more feminine gestures, etc. without really thinking about it. I don't think the hormones directly caused that so much as made me feel good enough that I just started acting like myself instead of hiding my feelings away from the world.
If you're worried about breast growth or other visible changes though, FYI I've started getting a decent bit of male fail at almost 5 months in, and the first month was low dose. I do have almost full B cups at this point, and even with a fitted undershirt and 2-3 thick layers that are at least 2 sizes too big, they're still noticeable if anyone really looks; between their overall shape and me not being very muscular, they don't really pass as either pecs or man boobs either.
I've had long hair for a few years and was never read as female from that alone, but now with my growing girls and the other changes to skin, hair, muscle, fat distribution, etc. it's enough to make a fair number of people question my gender. Finally the people around me get a taste of how I felt for so long!
One thing that might help you on hiding the changes though is that because the change is so gradual, people who have known you before and who see you very often (like coworkers) are less likely to notice how different you look than strangers are.
Good luck, and I hope you find a way forward that's right for you!
