I know i have been gone for a time. been trying to deal with number of various crisis that have come up, of dramam avoidable and not. And have began to crash and buckle under the weight. but here will tell everything thats happened around and during my absence.
In my inroduction i believe i mentioned that after college initially fell through and was being evicted i moved in with a friend in Texas, i shall pick up the story from there.
Relationship i had with Katherine was different. She accepted me and knew the changes and during about half a week after i moved down it was bliss. Being able to feel human contact, feel another's warmth and maybe hope not alone. Then it all crashed down, she found a boy online who she thought would fit well together. he was jealous of time she spent with me and would ask about that to katherine which would trigger arguements and her spending more time with him. eventually i couldnt take it any longer..of feeling replaced. And mentioned it to her and she stated we would just become friends again, which was the idea but she then went apathetic. even more so when she found out he was cheating on her. the situation was so emotionally traumatic and tumultuous that another friend said if i had no where else to go i could move in with her. and i looked around but nothing was avaiable. esecially by this time my family i had left on my mothers side for all intents and purposes disowned me because of what i am..because she could not accept she never had a son.
I moved in with christy and new a little of the drama and chaos i was going into, but i had no other choice. That she was having an affair because of her failing marriage. So arrived with both her and future Ex being overtly and passively hostile to one another. then finding out so much more information of the affair since she was moving to a new state for promotion so her daughter visited with her grandparents as we moved. Christy knowing was bad idea in ways taking sidetrip to visit her married BF. Being the first time i met him in peson and had mixed feelings which those mixed feeling got more definite towards negitive later on. I met his wife and we became close friends, which we already were when met online and spent time together and what not. after we left and continuned on finally getting settled to a hotel on military base until a house openned up. Her reactions with him were so classically abusive and addictive that i mentioned it to her. He would yell at her for things not her fault and she couldnt control on regular basis. Gotten to point on more than one occasion where her daughter has stood up to him for her and she yells at her daughter because of getting involved with things 'not her business' and reason why is that she wont defend herself and her daughter feels she has to since her mother wont.
She started going to counciling after got to where her daughter would be verbally self abusive and minorly physically abusive. counseling helped for about a day it seems since she is about to same place where she was with the counciling. spending almost all her time online with him again and taking out just enough time to reason to herself she is spending time with her daughter before going back to him. That she charged me with being caretaker and so often seems like im more a guardian to her than her mother is wher spending time with her and making sure she's fed and ready for the day and everything else. That she is so addicted to him she cant see what her addiction is doing and unwilling to listen and waiting for everything to come home to roost. that i knew about a number of their transgressions and mentioned it to his wife when she pretended to have feelings for me. seemingly just to find out if anything else happened between them. That she apparently told her husband i came on to her. and he made a threat on my life initially then saying he doesnt want me to ever talk to his wife again. and i have yet to hear from here so can only assume that it all was an act to get information. And now finding out that he has been saying things behind my back, and manipulating situations. and of course she believes him first withotu hearing the story and unwilling to do anything to confornt the story. the conundrum about leaving is that this is only way i can be on HRT right now since i have nowhere else to go. number of moths ago was suicidal because all the stress and within week been heading down that road again. the lonliness the ache and hurt just wanting to leave everyone and everything behind to become homeless and disappear so no one would ever know what happened to me. the betrayal making me doubt everything and everyone... but that is for the most part whats happened in my absence.
