Curse. It troubles me every day. Wish I'd been born a woman instead of a male who wants to be a woman—and living with an unsupportive and unaccepting wife hurts me every day.

Finally knowing who I am, is a gift. Knowing why relationships failed is a gift, for both of us. Meeting people in the same identity crisis is a gift, especially if I am able to help them. What is a curse is being scared most my life to be the person I have always known was hiding in the shadows, but now even that seems a long time ago. Emily Anderson, Nanci Vargas, Peter Lightbody and Kristy Conner have been major gifts as I would not know them if I had not come out as trans. My wife is a gift that I did not acknowledge but have come to realize what a great person she is. My friends at the support group are gifts I would never have. Lastly Evie Dickenson has become someone I will cherish her friendship for the rest of my life. I used to think life was a challenge. Now the challenge is be the best me, I have been given the opportunity to become.

Quote from: Sarah.VanDistel on November 08, 2018, 01:05:13 AM
Simply put:
A very painful curse before transition.
The most unique and wonderful gift afterwards. [emoji4]

Hugs, Sarah

Before I figured this out my anger was out of control, I came close to ending my life and possibly the lives of a few other people. No one should ever go that far into darkness. I will never forget the pain I caused my family. I don't know why my wife stayed with me, or how I survived.

Now my anger is gone and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. Everything feels right.

The problem is that if I had never been him, I would not have an amazing wife and two awesome daughters.

I will never know who I could have been or what I could have done if I had been born as a cis female, but I am happy with who I have become. I could not imagine a world without my daughters. I also get a unique gift -- being able to live two lives and see the world from two different perspectives.

It is both a gift and a curse. It all depends on your perspective.

It depends what you do with being trans. It depends on what you are able to do about it. All my life, it haunted me, drove me crazy. I was really lucky to be able to transition. I seriously thought of it being a curse before that. Now, I feel like at 61 I am gearing up for my life, not getting ready to die. I feel like everything now is new and I want to soak in this gift. I see everything in a new light, what else would I call it?

Wow, I really enjoyed reading everyone's responses!  Well, I guess it's my turn.

I am pre-everything at the moment.  I see a gender therapist every other week and I came out to a friend of mine, and I dress full time at home (I live alone, so no worries in the house).  I am going to start HRT as soon as my employer's health insurance takes effect.  So far, being trans has been a double-edged sword, in that I realize that I am a woman, which is a blessing because I have always wanted to be one.  However, I also see it as a curse, since I will eventually come out to a family that is very loving but not very trans-friendly.  Many of my friends are conservative and do not understand what being transgender really is.  Coming to terms with my own gender identity has shaken the very concept of who I have always thought I was; I found that I don't know me as well as I thought I did.

I don't hate being trans.  In fact, I'm at peace finally, knowing why I have felt feminine feelings throughout my life.  No longer do I condemn myself for feeling like a woman.  I finally don't feel like feminizing myself is a sin or anything to be ashamed of.  I still have great fear about coming out, dressing in public, etc., but I don't hate myself for wanting to be a woman anymore either, and that is a great blessing!!!


Hugs to all!!



Danielle

Each life is a precious adventure, some are miserable, some happy, some are good some are bad. This is our path for this lifetime and our death is not the end and birth is not the begining, but the long path to enlightnment. I loved life as a male and thus have no regrets about my past, I love my life  now as a tg female and I dont worry about tomorrow it is unknown and not a certainty.

Everything I enjoyed doing as a male I could have done as a female. Putt putt, racing go-karts, robotics, etc. I could have all done that as a female. My art would probably be better as a female too. So I have zero gratitude whatsoever for being born male. Unlike other transwomen I never had a loving wife, loving girlfriend or even proper sex with a female so I have nothing to be grateful about being male and I am super bitter.

Would it be fair to say that those who see it as a gift have successfully transitioned and/or are "out" to a supportive partner or support network, and those who see it as a curse (like me) are isolated and in the closet? Or am I just generalizing from my own situation? Nancy

Quote from: NancyBalik on November 10, 2018, 01:29:13 PM
Would it be fair to say that those who see it as a gift have successfully transitioned and/or are "out" to a supportive partner or support network, and those who see it as a curse (like me) are isolated and in the closet? Or am I just generalizing from my own situation? Nancy

Seven billion people, seven billion genders, on a spectrum. You're definitely generalizing. 

I would say that I have been pretty successful in my transition but I wouldn't exactly call being trans a gift.  It's more like one of nature's cruelest hazing rituals.

Yes I got to see the world through more perspectives than most, yes it toughened me up mentally, but this came at the cost of a few decades of misery and being disowned by my immediate family.  I don't feel like I got the better end of that trade.

But I'm keeping my chin up and making the best of it like I always have.  Failure isn't an option.

Quote from: NancyBalik on November 10, 2018, 01:29:13 PM
Would it be fair to say that those who see it as a gift have successfully transitioned and/or are "out" to a supportive partner or support network, and those who see it as a curse (like me) are isolated and in the closet? Or am I just generalizing from my own situation? Nancy

Theoretically, in a perfect world, that loved and accepted trans people, and in this world was tech to turn people into passable trans, for a small affordable fee, then I could argue it is a gift, because there is no period cramps. But that world does not exist and I would trade having period cramps in order not to feel such negative mental states every day.

Being trans isn't anything. What kind of gift is wrapped in such a high suicide rate? What kind of curse can end in such contentment when you wake up on the other side of the dark? It just is.

It just is, like everything else in life, the gift or curse is in how we view it. The glass isn't half full, the glass isn't half empty, the glass is just wet. We are not how good we had it or how bad we but what we did with what we had.

I think the life I've been given is a gift. Being trans is a part of that, but it's only (somewhat) physical... I have the same body, the same voice and mannerisms. The changes are so subtle... My waist is a bit smaller and my hips wider. Sure. But my face structure hasn't changed much. My eyes haven't.
I think whatever estrogen is or does, that is a gift. In a weird twisted way it though.

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

Quote from: NancyBalik on November 10, 2018, 01:29:13 PM
Would it be fair to say that those who see it as a gift have successfully transitioned and/or are "out" to a supportive partner or support network, and those who see it as a curse (like me) are isolated and in the closet? Or am I just generalizing from my own situation? Nancy

Support is certainly a factor. Finding people like yourself in person for the first time and then building relationships. Finding professionals that support your decisions and actually have some experience with how to handle it. It's ok to set a baseline and build on it.

For me it is a gift but not all gifts are great sometimes it sucks but other times it kicks butt. I have never had an easy life at all but for me transitioning was not anywhere near as hard as I thought it was going to be. I am not saying it is easy either. Everyone has their own challenges in life.

It'll never feel like a gift, but it feels much less like the curse it used to. All in all, I'm grateful to be me—trans or not.

Quote from: RealLacy on November 08, 2018, 03:02:17 PM
I am in the camp of seeing it as a curse. I have wished everyday since I became aware of the dysphoric feeling 25 years ago, that I would have been born in a body I feel comfortable with. One that matches my gender. The amount of pain this has caused myself and others through my life, I can't say that I am glad I was born this way.

I am grateful however, that since I have started down the road of transitioning, I have been met with more support than I expected. I find that I can still have a happy life, and become a much better person than I have ever been. I will be able to support others and hopefully bring enlightenment to people that are currently ignorant about all things trans.

So although it is a curse to me, I find it is something that has challenged me, made me stronger, more sympathetic to others and more eager to bring hope to others. It isn't something that has a hold on me anymore. I have accepted it and I own it! Looking back is not what I want to do. I plan to keep focusing on where I want to be and pursue that dream with as much character and integrity as possible!

Lacy

Thank you Danielle Kristina for such an interesting thread.

I have just read the whole thread and Lacy's reply is the closest to my thinking. Thank you Lacy.

I have to say being trans is a curse as how could it be a gift to be one gender - obviously providing we are of sound mind, our true gender being that of the brain/mind but the body we possess showing the other gender? Therefore it must be a curse until you take positive action. Before that point you are merely existing as opposed to living and in many cases with depression and/or aggression. But after you decide to do something - therapy and/or HRT and/or surgeries, then you feel better and start loving yourself and loving life. You gain motivation, appreciate the challenge and overcome the obstacles. You later become a better person willing to help others.

So for me a curse till you take action and then afterwards you and others may appreciate the gift!

Hugs to all

Pamela