Hey Guys -

I'm curious what you think about the media frenzy surrounding the pregnant guy. 

I have mixed feelings.  On one hand, I feel "to each his own!"  On the other hand, I cringe thinking about how such HUGE publicity over a very unusual case will affect people's opinion of the "average" transsexual trying to "come out" to friends and family. 

This story is bad timing -- I just "came out" to my extended family two weeks ago.  They're upset enough as it is; and now, they've seen the "pregnant guy" on Oprah... it's put them over the edge. 

- Benjamin

What's an "average" transsexual?

I'm concerned about the backlash as well. I rather wish he hadn't gone public with it. For one thing, it's not like he's the first to bear a child.

The Oprah coverage relieves my concern a bit. It was overall quite respectful and positive.

Dennis

I don't want kids coming out of my body. I cut those organs out for a reason. I think it is important to remember that the media image of us has never been accurate. The media is always looking for the most unusual and unexpected. You can't judge someone based on what the TV says they are. I would ask your family to think about the person you are, that they have known for many years. You are not someone else on TV and that isn't going to change. Err well unless you are the sort to get pregnant and go on TV.

However I believe Thomas has every right to and I think it is admirable that he is able to put aside his own goals so that he and his wife are able to have a child. I know that I could never have done it and that just makes me admire him more. It was his turn to speak out, to challenge the myths and ideas of masculinity. So what is a man gets pregnant, has a kid or dances around in a pink fluffy tutu? It doesn't make him less a man anymore then if he picked up a tool belt and belched a lot would make him more of a man. Identity is independent from behavior.

In terms of visibility, meh I like this type more then say Jerry Springer or silence of the lambs. What little I saw seemed well thought out and clearly articulated. If my family had concerns that I would do likewise, then my response would be very simple. You are talking about my child and if you want to be in any way involved in my life you had better learn respect for my child. It really doesn't matter how a child is born as long as they are loved and I know that I could love my child whether it came from me, my partner, adoption or aliens because this is my kid. I still say I am glad to have had the surgery as the thought frankly scares the crap out of me.

Its going to muddy the issue and confuse even more people, to the degree that confusion turns people off, and pushes them further away, its not good.

As an ftm who loves men and has lived life as a straight woman, and I have 2 kids, on the one hand I can understand totally the desire to have kids with his wife, and when she was unable, to do it himself.  OTOH if I had transitioned fully, I doubt I could have done it.  I thought the show was respectful, Thomas and his wife did not appear as freakish, but a normal loving couple.  I would hope that ultimately people would be accepting.  I remember when I was a kid the huge thing was Louise Brown, the test tube baby, and how freakish was that? (the media et al) But today, look how far reproductive medicine has come.  This is one more extension of that.

Jaye

Quote from: Kirsa on April 04, 2008, 11:57:25 AM
What's an "average" transsexual?

Good point.  Thus, the quotes around "average." 

Posted on: April 04, 2008, 06:00:01 PM

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Quote from: Dennis on April 04, 2008, 12:16:19 PM
The Oprah coverage relieves my concern a bit. It was overall quite respectful and positive.
Dennis

Glad to hear Oprah covered it without sensationalizing.  I've read the newspapers articles, but I missed Oprah yesterday.

I posted a link to the show somewhere - I'll leave it to you to find

Dennis

I have to agree with those who said that he ought to do what he feels is right for his family, but I wish he weren't doing it quite so publicly.  We have enough trouble with people seeing us as weird perverts, in part because the media insists on dwelling on the sensationalist stories, rather than the every day realities of most Transpeoples' lives.  But hey, reality is boring, isn't it?  Won't it be nice when transexualism is viewed as no more shocking or newsworthy than being born with a clubbed foot.  You just fix it, and all's well.  I hope that happens in our lifetimes.  I'm glad to hear, though, that Oprah handled the show responsibly.

Quote from: Dennis on April 04, 2008, 08:05:18 PM
I posted a link to the show somewhere - I'll leave it to you to find
Dennis

Found the link at Orprah's site. 

Posted on: April 05, 2008, 10:49:10 AM

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Quote from: Jamie-o on April 05, 2008, 02:52:39 AM
I have to agree with those who said that he ought to do what he feels is right for his family, but I wish he weren't doing it quite so publicly. 

Yes, that sums it up nicely. 

I too have my own kids. However, that was before transition. It could not even be a possiblility after the fact. I don't understand what he is thinking. I had read that his wife has 2 of her own from a previous marriage, so unless all of a sudden 10 years after transitioning he felt like he had to have his own, I simplly don't get it. I respect his courage, but also see as it will shed bizzare light on trans people unfortunatly.

                                             Marco

I don't get it either... trying to wrap my brain around it.

Dont think he's any less man then any of us.  ppl are different.  some transiton young, some dont.  Some wanna have kids, some dont.  who am I to judge him?   He's not the first dude to be pregnent after T. He's the first dude ppl r hearin about but he aint the first.

I think it's strange how he's courting the publicity - Oprah and all that. Think he's trying to make money off it or something? I just don't see the appeal in going to a bunch of newspaper and shows to let them into your personal life.

I think each to there own like Ben said. However its a BIG publicity stunt and to be honest I want kids and if my partner couldn't have them there might be a 5% chance that I would contimplate on having them but I would never wish to go to the press with it at all.

I think this has given trans people a bad name to an extent... not what has happend, how....
I woke up the other day to the radio... and the PRESENTER.... proceeded to talk about this... and how, SHE was a woman with short hair, who cut HER boobs off, and was living as a guy, and that didnt make her a guy because she kept the girlbits.... that shocked me tbh. Such blatent ignorance and unacceptance of trans issues being publically broadcast to more people who just belive that! I do find it amusing however, that its always HE, this, HE that, prenant MAN.... etc when its a f2m.
but its also nearly always HE when its a transsexual woman too... societys sure throws a curveball.
R >

Quote from: Rachael on April 08, 2008, 02:46:31 AM
I think this has given trans people a bad name to an extent... not what has happend, how....
I woke up the other day to the radio... and the PRESENTER.... proceeded to talk about this... and how, SHE was a woman with short hair, who cut HER boobs off, and was living as a guy, and that didnt make her a guy because she kept the girlbits.... that shocked me tbh.

I wonder what they will talk about us pre-op gals that have let our hair grow, have boob implants through surgery or hormones and still have our male bits & living as gals. Same thing tbh.

Quote from: Chris on April 08, 2008, 12:11:29 AM
Dont think he's any less man then any of us.  ppl are different.  some transiton young, some dont.  Some wanna have kids, some dont.  who am I to judge him?   He's not the first dude to be pregnent after T. He's the first dude ppl r hearin about but he aint the first.

Agreed.  Nice bloke you are Chris . His name has been around the media because he chose to be public, but what if he hadnt?  noboby would know or care.  As a minority community that faces bigotry & intolerance day by day, we are supposed to support him not judge his actions.

they did a survey once, 2000 people, and two naked pictures, a man with a vagina. and a woman with a penis (both trans)
they were asked to say what sex each was.
the majority labeled the transguy as male
100% labled the transwoman as male....


ebil penis syndrome i guess....

considering my genetic issues, i wonder what i qualify as? freak probably heh.
R >

Quote from: Rachael on April 08, 2008, 02:46:31 AM
I do find it amusing however, that its always HE, this, HE that, prenant MAN.... etc when its a f2m.

Well, I don't think that's because of tolerance or understanding, but because PREGNANT MAN! just sounds so very sensationel and splashy...

By the way, I agree with most of the other people here. It's really nobody's business, but his and his wife's, but all this public attention doesn't really help what the public thinks about us.

funny, but by the time m2fs can get prengant, i envisage the exact same titles.....
WORD FOR WORD.... 'men pregnant'
R >