I take an aweful photo....

This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest,  that I should not venture out.

I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look

I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ

Love Jessica

You need to do what you need to do. However, the problem I see with outfit isn't so much whether you look feminine but that the combination of dress and sweater don't really go together. That would draw my attention more than anything.

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 09:21:12 AM
I take an aweful photo....

This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest,  that I should not venture out.

I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look

I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ

Love Jessica

So I'm looking at your picture and I think you passed perfectly fine I think you're actually very lovely except you need to smile girl

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Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035

So without the jumper

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:22:36 AM
Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035

So without the jumper

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw

I love that dress I actually think I have that one but shoulderless LOL I think you look absolutely lovely you definitely pass girl you just need to smile

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Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 29, 2018, 10:21:27 AM
So I'm looking at your picture and I think you passed perfectly fine I think you're actually very lovely except you need to smile

I have a horrible smile 

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:26:47 AM
I have a horrible smile 

Sweetie there are a hundred different ways to smile cannot be horrible at all of them I hate when I smile I don't show my teeth usually but I'm in the process of getting my teeth whitened and I think showing teeth makes me look like a horse but even a small smile can work wonders my profile pic is a prime example I'm barely smiling just enough of the curb of the lips to tell that I'm smiling but it's so little that it's cute

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Jessica, I would have asked your lady friend what she thinks makes a "good" woman, because really, it's a silly comment.  She can't know how you feel on the inside, and that's what really counts.  Going out and feeling comfortable is all about self-confidence, which has nothing to do with "passing," which I believe is what your friend was trying to say.

Most of us don't pass, but that doesn't mean we can't be passable.  It's all about how we carry ourselves, which includes good makeup and fashion sense, combined with feminine poise.  Concentrate on those items, and by all means, you should venture out. 

Hugs,

Sally

Quote from: Arianna Valentine on December 29, 2018, 10:25:05 AM
I love that dress I actually think I have that one but shoulderless LOL I think you look absolutely lovely you definitely pass girl you just need to smile

Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile

One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA

The dress works, but if you will blend in depends on the temperature where you live. It's a bit cold for dresses in the UK, initially I would aim to wear similar clothes to the majority of other women your age.

Try the jumper with jeans and a handbag.

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:40:47 AM
Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile

One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA

That looks so much better you have a very beautiful smile

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Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:22:36 AM
Thanks blueJay I was not convinced about the jumper either it looks a lot different on me than when I saw the combination on the website. Taller slimmer model makes it work
https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_054010326035

So without the jumper

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAt_rYW4gYiDAHZBw

I think you look pretty good, and yes, a little more smile would make your face to look a lo better!

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:40:47 AM
Thank you so much Arianna. I need confidence and the smile

One with a smile of sorts
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAwFk-v2CppKFntbA

This photo looks great!

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 09:21:12 AM
I take an aweful photo....

This is my best attempt yet at makeup (avatar) and wearing my new dress and jumper (link). Do I look so bad please be honest,  that I should not venture out.

I do not expect to pass but I do not want it to be so obvious that people will look

I am suffering low esteem recently when a female friend said I would not make a good woman. That hit me hard as I always thought with the work I could at least pass for an old woman
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtAmzPL9eJ7BiasyBQ

Love Jessica

I haven't read anyone else's response, because I wanted to give you my honest one, unfettered by other people's responses.

You know what?  I honestly don't know why you call that "woman" a friend!  I'd dump her like a hot potato!  That's not a friend, that's someone you probably don't need in your life.  How DARE she insult you that way! 

You are you, and that's all that counts!  She seems to have forgotten that not every cis woman out there looks like a model or movie star!  So what?  You look like a sweet, middle-aged woman, that's perfectly fine!

So go out as your true self, have fun and if I was you, I'd stay away from that person, she sounds toxic.  You don't need that toxicity in your life!

Edit:  I've read everyone's response and I think you look lovely in that dress.  YOU GO GIRL! 

Good luck sister!

Ryuichi

Arianna,

I'm going to second the advice that you need a smile. Other than that you are a lovely lady. I hope to be there someday soon myself. You go girl! Love and faith.

Gabrielle

You look great in the dress and hair.

My ex said that to me, "you will make a horrible looking woman" when I came out to her. She said she was being honest with me. It hurt then and when I read what your friend said to you.

I go to a cis hetero gym and do spin class. There are 50 bikes in the class and 90% plus woman. Woman are in every size, shape and height. There are woman that are thin, average and overweight and this is at all ages. I am 6'2" and considered on the thinner side. I have accepted my height and my 40 to 42 inch bra band size. I can wish I was 5'8" with a 34 inch bra band but I am not and never will be. I suspect every woman at the gym are looking at  other woman's outfits, shoes and bodies comparing themselves to them and looking for cute outfits and wishing they were younger and cuter.   

The most important thing is not being like someone else but to be you. I look at woman and try my best to fit in with styles. For spin class I had to go to a sporting goods store and buy several tops, sports bras and leggings. I felt really exposed wearing the gear at first. It is what is worn at the gym there. I am fine now and think it feels awesome.

It takes time in woman's clothing to feel comfortable. When you finally feel comfortable it is an awesome feeling. To just be who you are

Quote from: Jessica_K on December 29, 2018, 10:26:47 AM
I have a horrible smile 

Hi Jessica,

I don't like my smile either and have always disliked photos of myself, especially when presenting male. But it is more important to go where you want, as yourself, so the thing I would like to know is where are you thinking of going and do you have anyone to go with?

Hugs,

Izzy

Thank you so much girls for all the kind comments and the confidence they bring. I have a difficult line to tread. I have to present male at home, the story in other threads, but when I can I dress for me. I do dress down with joggings and tops but that is not much different from what I have to wear at home. I love dresses they make me feel feminine. Are they too young for may age? Maybe, but most women of my age have been there done it and now relax in the pants and tops. To me it's new and I want my time in dresses

Quote from: Rachel on December 29, 2018, 06:27:00 PM
You look great in the dress and hair.

My ex said that to me, "you will make a horrible looking woman" when I came out to her. She said she was being honest with me. It hurt then and when I read what your friend said to you.

Thank you Rachel, she thought she was telling me for my own good, It was not malice, but it did hurt

QuoteI am 6'2" and considered on the thinner side. I have accepted my height and my 40 to 42 inch bra band size. I can wish I was 5'8" with a 34 inch bra band but I am not and never will be. I suspect every woman at the gym are looking at  other woman's outfits, shoes and bodies comparing themselves to them and looking for cute outfits and wishing they were younger and cuter

I guess I am lucky, only 5'3" and even though I am not on HRT I am 38A/B British size. If I could lose the high tummy fat I would have a good shape
https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsCTPK3b86qkjtA2tYCC5WdiWwUycA

Quote from: IzzyM on December 29, 2018, 06:48:44 PM
But it is more important to go where you want, as yourself, so the thing I would like to know is where are you thinking of going and do you have anyone to go with?

I was to go for a walk and get a coffee at the coffee shop. I would have had a coat on that I would have taken off. I did not go in the end. Eventually time ran out and I had to take everything off to go home. In this I am alone, I would not have anyone to go with

Sorry if this is a bit long. Things I needed to say and thanks again for all the confidence building messages of support and I will smile more

Love Jessica

You are 5'3"?  Dang, you've hit the genetic jackpot!  With the right clothes, hair and makeup, you can blend in and pass for female any time you want!  And I'm guessing your feet are small enough for you to wear whatever women's shoes you want also.  Lucky girl!

You are right about the male tummy bulge— it's a dead giveaway, and it needs to go or you have to be careful to dress around it.

But lucky you— pair the green dress and black tights with a black open front cardigan and you should blend in anywhere.

Well 5'3" could be a slight exaggeration more like 5'2" I used to say I was 4 lol
But I did not get all the good genes. Male pattern baldness means I will always have to wear a wig
The weight is coming off 35lbs so far along with the bulge (slowly). When I have lost another 28lbs I will concentrate on it if it is still there.

I will look out for a cardi

Love Jessica