Morning guys, dolls and unicorns. (well morning to me as it's actually half past 3 or so here and was up all night)

This whole controversy with Mr. Beattie and something Andra so perfectly articulated in a thread about it (mucho props to hir): https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,31255.0.html

got me to thinking.

How many of us don't fit the traditional mold of what a transsexual is?

I know that I don't. And I've had my identity questioned because of it, sometimes by friends just trying to figure me out (which I don't mind at all) and sometimes by other guys in some pathetic attempt to justify their own manhood and transsexuality - 'If I'm a guy, there's no way he's a guy' kind of thing.
But I'll say it again - I could just as easily put on a front as some meat and potatoes 'classic' transsexual man but that's just not my style.

So, to the unconvential transsexual - whether you're a man, woman or something else entirely:

In what ways do you or others see you as unconventional and how do you feel about prejudice or intolerance towards those of us who don't fit the mold?

And just any thoughts anyone has on the subject at all, please. Conventional transsexuals' thoughts most welcome also.


Note: This is not in any way to 'knock' conventional transsexuals. Many of whom do embrace the less conventional among us.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. There is a broad spectrum on this gender line and not everybody is going to fall under male and female. You land where you are comfortable with. And pick a name. Mine is still pickle. Actually you don't have to pick a name, just be yourself...and that will be Nero.

There is no way I am a typical transsexual. I don't know what I am yet...to be honest with you. I fit transsexual the closest and that is what most people understand so that is what I label myself. Nobody really understands "pickle".

QuoteThe Unconvential Transsexual

that'd be a transgender person.

Quote from: Natasha on April 08, 2008, 03:50:48 PM

QuoteThe Unconvential Transsexual

that'd be a transgender person.

Well, I'm not so sure about that. Because I'm a male and only a male, 100% male and yet I'm not like the classic ftm transsexual. I've never been a lesbian (not that any ftms ever actually were lesbian) and don't have penis envy (except for some rare times when the possession of one would be convenient). I rarely watch sports (and when I do, I'm bored out of my gourd), can't throw a ball, and am far from stoic. I wear mascara, highlight my hair, and gush over pretty things.

I just don't fit the convential mold of a female-to male transsexual.

Quote from: Natasha on April 08, 2008, 03:50:48 PM

QuoteThe Unconvential Transsexual

that'd be a transgender person.

Jeeze... People who are binary identified and want/have had SRS don't qualify as transsexual just because they don't behave in an entirely social gender role conforming manner?

Convential: Now that spelling error is just not ON 

Quote from: Andra on April 08, 2008, 04:47:45 PM

Quote from: Natasha on April 08, 2008, 03:50:48 PM

QuoteThe Unconvential Transsexual

that'd be a transgender person.

Jeeze... People who are binary identified and want/have had SRS don't qualify as transsexual just because they don't behave in an entirely social gender role conforming manner?

Convential: Now that spelling error is just not ON 

Lol thanks for catching it.

Quote from: Tink on March 14, 2008, 11:21:53 PM
I would say that the majority of transsexuals are just being who they are inside, not conforming to someone else's ideas of who they should be.  But as with anything, you have to take the good with the bad.   It's wrong to say that ALL lesbians are extremely masculine or ALL gay men are extremely feminine, but it can't be denied that this is true for some people.

It's all just a matter of stereotyping and people blowing up specific cases to general rules. Are all transsexuals like that? Certainly not. Are there some that are like this? Sure. What's important is that you are happy with yourself. When you are able to be yourself openly and proudly, it breaks down the generalizations that people have learned.

Most transsexual people, at the start of transition, DO go through a "stereotype" phase.  We, transsexual women, DO go a little "crazy" with our clothes, often buying the most unsuitable garments (skirts too short, dresses too frilly/floral, pink everything, etc), we DO overdo our make-up, we DO feel the need not to do or say anything that isn't unequivocally feminine.  Transsexual men, on the other hand, DO get ridiculously short haircuts, or over-the-top tattoos, and DO take up "manly" sports and pastimes with an almost religious, rather fanatic passion.  Yet all of this is done to establish our credentials, nailing our colors to the mast; in other words, it's like wearing a placard that says "YES! I AM A WOMAN" (or "YES! I AM A MAN" for transsexual men).

Most of us grow out of it fairly quickly, of course; we calm down, and begin to accept that we don't have to fit the stereotype.  We learn to be OURSELVES; a mixture of masculine and feminine traits, just like everyone else (and for some of us, the stereotype IS who we are). 


tink

tink

To each their own, whatever floats yer boat, etc etc yadda yadda yadda. People should be however they want, its all about being comfortable with who you are. Stereotypes are lame and its just trading one box for another.

I have talked a lot about this in the chat room. My wires are crossed in more then one way. Before I began transition I didn't really have any developed gender identity at all. As I continue to explore gender expression I find myself picking up male and female traits in fairly equal measure. I always knew I should be biologically female but I also wanted to be a tomboy. Never had the urge to cross-dress as a child and I still love doing many traditionally male things. Give me a tool belt, combat boots and a baseball cap and I am pretty happy.

I'm an unconventional transsexual.  :-)

Nero, I'm sorry for buggin ya about it dude.

Niiiite.

There is such a thing as a Butch TS girl.
Or a Fem TS guy.
Or any number of inbetween.
I'm very happy for them for being abble to have a kid.
Yay!
More kiddies!
Yay!
-Sara

LOL, you KNOW I don't fit the classic definitions or symptoms.

But IMHO, my NEEDS > what I "am," so...

I did what I always knew I had to do

~Kate~

Quote from: Annwyn on April 08, 2008, 10:34:02 PM
I'm an unconventional transsexual.  :-)

Nero, I'm sorry for buggin ya about it dude.

Niiiite.

Oh no darlin. Like I said, I don't mind friends trying to figure me out. Every friend I ever had tried. Never told anyone, so friends would say stuff like 'but you're not really a woman'. Without my ever discussing it.
So, I don't mind, hon. Not from a friend.

Quote from: Tink on April 08, 2008, 07:38:01 PM

Quote from: Tink on March 14, 2008, 11:21:53 PM
I would say that the majority of transsexuals are just being who they are inside, not conforming to someone else's ideas of who they should be.  But as with anything, you have to take the good with the bad.   It's wrong to say that ALL lesbians are extremely masculine or ALL gay men are extremely feminine, but it can't be denied that this is true for some people.

It's all just a matter of stereotyping and people blowing up specific cases to general rules. Are all transsexuals like that? Certainly not. Are there some that are like this? Sure. What's important is that you are happy with yourself. When you are able to be yourself openly and proudly, it breaks down the generalizations that people have learned.

Most transsexual people, at the start of transition, DO go through a "stereotype" phase.  We, transsexual women, DO go a little "crazy" with our clothes, often buying the most unsuitable garments (skirts too short, dresses too frilly/floral, pink everything, etc), we DO overdo our make-up, we DO feel the need not to do or say anything that isn't unequivocally feminine.  Transsexual men, on the other hand, DO get ridiculously short haircuts, or over-the-top tattoos, and DO take up "manly" sports and pastimes with an almost religious, rather fanatic passion.  Yet all of this is done to establish our credentials, nailing our colors to the mast; in other words, it's like wearing a placard that says "YES! I AM A WOMAN" (or "YES! I AM A MAN" for transsexual men).

Most of us grow out of it fairly quickly, of course; we calm down, and begin to accept that we don't have to fit the stereotype.  We learn to be OURSELVES; a mixture of masculine and feminine traits, just like everyone else (and for some of us, the stereotype IS who we are). 


tink

tink

What she said! 

Actually, could we be seen as conventional in our unconventional-ness? Correct me if i'm wrong, but being conventional means going by a norm. So if we are all different in how we approach our identity, then we could be conventional in our unconventional-ness. *holds her head* Alright my brain hurts.

I concur with Tink.  I do have a question though.  What exactly is a conventional transsexual?

What is a conventional woman, trans OR natal?  Is Britany Spears a conventional woman?  Or is that Hillary Clinton?

The same for men.  George Bush or the Dali Lama.  Which is conventional?

meh, so your a girly man.

There are as many ways to be transsexual as there are trans people... I see no need to put ourselves into boxes that are just as restricted as the ones that we were born into.

Zythyra

Quote from: Pica Pica on April 09, 2008, 07:47:07 AM
meh, so your a girly man.

'Girly'? Think someone's asking for a good whipping. 

effeminate?

Quote from: Claire de Lune on April 09, 2008, 02:46:58 AM
What exactly is a conventional transsexual?

What's troubling to me is when therapists try to define that, and judge someone's "readiness" based on their personal expectations of what a "conventional transsexual" is or should be doing.

~Kate~