Anyone else struggle with haircuts?  I got a hair styling yesterday (male cut, because I'm not out) and I just wanted to stick my head in the oven afterwards for a long time.  It's so opposite to what I want to do with my hair.  On the plus side I did like the stylist, who I hadn't used before.  Might be somebody to open up to and figure out how to get my hair cut in a feminine style, or at least a good unisex cut.

Hi.

You might wish to look at face and hair pictures of male TV, movie, and music personalities of the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s.  Some of their hairstyles look like some of the short to medium feminine hairstyles of today.  Some look like they have Pageboys and Bob hairstyles.

If you look at pictures of ordinary young boys today and yesteryear, you might see some wearing what look a lot like Bob cuts.  These are more full and longer than "bowl" cuts.   Thick hair all around, maybe not covering their ears, but some do.  They usually cut the boys' hair back as they get older though. 

Many of the "female" short Pixie cuts look like traditional male cuts, but on women; however, usually most of these women still look feminine.  Some very much so. 

Always try to remember that it is your total look, voice, mannerisms, and more, not just your hairstyle.   But yes, a feminine hairstyle is so nice.   

Chrissy

I totally get this!  I stopped getting male haircuts in my late 20s, long before I even started to consider even the possibility of being trans.  The whole experience was just so "Aaargh!!!" that I couldn't do it.  Now, of course, I get it and know the word for it, but back then I just knew that I hated it.

I grew my hair out in a ponytail that I kept for over 30 years.  In the early years, I'd cut the ponytail myself once ot twice a year, but eventually, I stopped doing even that.  Which is how I know that my maximum hair length is just below my shoulders.  No hair to the bum for this girl.

Me!  When my barber retired last year I wasn't sure what to do.  So I've been growing out my hair.  Looks OK to me!

Yes! Totally. Not sure what to do with mine either so I just stopped cutting it in November 2017.

It's been just growing and it's about 11 inches now. I'm interested to see how long it will grow before it hits terminal length.

I'd love it to get to classic length which is down to my bum but we'll have to see how kind or cruel nature is to me (It owes me a break lol).

Trouble is growing it out you have to push through the awkward stage but it's well worth it.

V x

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Quote from: randim on March 09, 2019, 01:01:55 PM
Anyone else struggle with haircuts?  I got a hair styling yesterday (male cut, because I'm not out) and I just wanted to stick my head in the oven afterwards for a long time.  It's so opposite to what I want to do with my hair.  On the plus side I did like the stylist, who I hadn't used before.  Might be somebody to open up to and figure out how to get my hair cut in a feminine style, or at least a good unisex cut.

When I was in your position, I would often come home and FREAK OUT. I think haircuts were one of my most dysphoric moments. To me it was a constant reminder that I was committing to staying in the closet again. I remember paying my friend a dollar to us his flow bee to shave it all off when I saw how manly a cut I'd gotten. It wasn't until I started taking my cues from Japanese culture that I found the unisex styles that made haircuts tolerable.

When I had my first feminine hairstyle last year, I was elated.


Chrissy

Mom and Dad said that I cried when I got my very first haircut.  That should have been an omen.  Oh, well...

I didn't think haircuts were particularly dysphoric, but I was surprised at how good it felt to grow my hair out, and how wonderful it feels to have long hair, and have it colored and trimmed at the salon.

Just grow it!  For the first 18 months of my hormonal transition I was "the guy with the ponytail" and no one really noticed much or ever said anything.  Most folks just thought I was turning into a hippie in my old age.

I also stopped about a year ago and did nothing until last week. It was looking formless and unattractive, nearly shoulder length.

Several in my transgender support group recommended a stylist who does "gender blend". I told her I wanted it to look femme most of the time, and when I want male mode I'll brush it out or do a ponytail. She showed me how to take advantage of my natural curliness (who knew I had that?) and get ringlets. I love it, and it's minimal work.

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My thick and wavy hair has already reached my collarbone.  I remember people commenting how good it looked when it was long as a young kid.  It will be interesting to see how long it gets!

Haircuts have always been depressing for me. I grew my hair long in my late teens and early 20's, but it was the style in the '70's. In my late 20's I was told my hair was holding me back for promotions, so I had to go back to short hair. I semi retired in my 50's and grew it out again, only to be pressured to go short for my daughters wedding in 2012. In the past 6 years I have had one cut per year, just to get rid of split ends and even everything up, and it is down to my shoulder blades, albeit grey.

I'm not out and haven't found a stylist I'm comfortable with and there is always an awkward "With your hair we have to charge women's prices". I normally wear it in a ponytail when I am in male mode, and I can see the other clients stealing looks when it's brushed out at the hairdressers. I need lots of hair to hide my broad shoulders, but I would love to have it in a shorter, coloured style more appropriate to my age. I just count my blessings that I am 65 and have a full head of hair!

Allie

As my hair gets longer it falls further down over my face - eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth.

Although somewhat enjoyable, this at times gets annoying!

Hair clips!


Chrissy

After I had a rather short guy cut last July, I just let it growing.  It is now long enough to get some kind of female hairdo, and my cis girlfriends take turns in implementing their ideas how I should look like.  Currently my head is full of small curls, and I have to see what the next girl wants to do with it.
I am lucky that I do not have any haarlos, and in fact, I have  a lower hairline on my forehead than many cis women have.  I just wish the stuff would grow faster, because I want my hair to be shoulder length eventually.

Quote from: randim on March 09, 2019, 01:01:55 PM
Anyone else struggle with haircuts?  I got a hair styling yesterday (male cut, because I'm not out) and I just wanted to stick my head in the oven afterwards for a long time.  It's so opposite to what I want to do with my hair.  On the plus side I did like the stylist, who I hadn't used before.  Might be somebody to open up to and figure out how to get my hair cut in a feminine style, or at least a good unisex cut.

I don't cut my hair... haven't for the past two years. The idea of cutting it is... not pleasant!

The only times I went to get my hair cut into male mode... it was to get a job... I pretty much had to cover my mirrors every time I had my hair short... totally a dysphoria trigger but I didn't know back then I just knew I hated it.

There's this against men with long hair aren't taking care or grooming themselves... totally the opposite if you ask me: having long healthy hair is a lot of work!

This was me... with extensions:


My point is that you can have long hair and still look... manly enough... as much as I hate to say it.

I don't have these extensions anymore, my natural hair length is now reaching the scapula approx 16 inch length.

Edit.: Oh god the dysphoria from these photos...  Had to take down one of them...

As a child I always hated trips to the barber for a haircut.

Aged 17 in 1972 I grew my hair halfway down my back and loved it.

I have always liked at least collar-length hair as a man.

I completely resigned from visiting barbers aged 50 and occasionally trim myself.

My hair still requires occasional trimming but that is mainly because I wear wigs, female of course. Besides, I am publicly transitioning in Summer anyway.

Hugs

Pamela

When I was little I HATED getting my haircut and would become very sullen about the whole thing.  Finally, in High School my Mom started traveling and let me do what I wanted with it.  It was long until I cut it short when I got married.   Now the lack of hair is a huge trigger, but that's a whole 'nother topic O.o

If I do cut it out of frustration with baldness I will probably cut it all the way.  I've even considered designing head tattoos for when I am more out and don't want to be bothered with a wig. Probably not the way most folks would go, but I've got a healthy dose of punk-rocker in me still!

Quote from: Jeal on March 10, 2019, 02:00:16 PM
If I do cut it out of frustration with baldness I will probably cut it all the way.  I've even considered designing head tattoos for when I am more out and don't want to be bothered with a wig. Probably not the way most folks would go, but I've got a healthy dose of punk-rocker in me still!

I've seen a few trans women who really rocked the shaven bald look. It's bold, but it can work!

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