Sorry, I thought you were having penial inversion with colon graft.
 I will be down on the 22, God wiling. Not sure if Courtney and I will be coming the same time. I'll have to see what my schedule will allow. That will be day 2, you should be dancing by then. Ok may be in spirit.  
Hugs Gina

Quote from: "Allie"But beyond that, there are people who see others with the courage to live their best lives.. when, for a multitude of reasons - cultural, economic, socio-economic, health, etc - are unable to do so, and that galls them. If they can't be happy, why should others get to?

I know that I project too much, I tend to think other people think the way I do, when I know very well that I am quite different.  That may be happening here.  You may be 100% right. 

But, I don't think that most people who are "anti-trans" are insecure themselves.  I think they lack empathy.  They can't even imagine what we are feeling, and assume either we are entirely making it up for attention, or we are pursuing a sexual kink.  I think they generally see us a liars and pretenders. 

That said, I think the part quoted above probably correctly describes most anti-trans people.  They tend to feel that they must constrain themselves in some manner to participate in society (I mean, don't we all?) and they are jealous of someone else having the gall to be themselves.  How dare anyone expect the world to accept them on their own terms.  Well, they are NOT playing along!  You can join them in hiding the parts of you that isn't in keeping with the norm, or you can be cast out of society.

I know myself pretty well.  I can't imagine that I would be blind to many people around me being transgender and hiding it.  One or two great actors, maybe.  But, I know I give off cues all the time.  It just leaks out of me.  And, most people don't associate it with gender, because they have a normativity bias.  They dismiss it as eccentricity. 

But, I would certainly pick up on the same cues coming from someone else.  So, they'd have to be a lot better at hiding it than me. I think I'd have an easier time spotting a fellow closeted transgender person in my life than someone who transitioned before I met them.  I wouldn't be sure, but I'd be aware of the tells. 

Good post, REM.

Quote from: REM.1126 on February 07, 2024, 08:52:56 AMBut, I don't think that most people who are "anti-trans" are insecure themselves.  I think they lack empathy.  They can't even imagine what we are feeling, and assume either we are entirely making it up for attention, or we are pursuing a sexual kink.  I think they generally see us a liars and pretenders. 

That said, I think the part quoted above probably correctly describes most anti-trans people.  They tend to feel that they must constrain themselves in some manner to participate in society (I mean, don't we all?) and they are jealous of someone else having the gall to be themselves.  How dare anyone expect the world to accept them on their own terms.  Well, they are NOT playing along!  You can join them in hiding the parts of you that isn't in keeping with the norm, or you can be cast out of society.

This is about how I see it as well.  Very well said, Rachel.

~Sara

I had a really great time last night -- our very own Jessica Rose and wife Susan are in Dallas this week, so we got to meet up for dinner!  Jessica is even more sweet and kind-hearted in person than online  .  I feel very lucky to have met her.

We talked about a lot of things, and of course my upcoming surgery was a main topic.  It was really good hearing all of her "war stories" about how things went for her bottom surgery, dilation, etc.  I don't have a lot of people that I know locally who have had bottom surgery, so any information I can get is extremely helpful!

We forgot to take a picture, but I swear it really happened LOL!  We'll definitely have to do it again the next time we're in the same town!

~Sara

I had my therapy session with Dr. Torres yesterday, and I really think I'm making a lot of good progress.  She even remarked at one point, "You know, Sara, I really like how you think.  You make my job easy."

It's interesting that therapy has gone in a slightly different direction than I envisioned when I started.  I came into her office feeling like I was "broken" in the way I see myself and in how I manage relationships.  I wanted to "heal" myself of this constant feeling of anxiety so that I wouldn't be so preoccupied and worried about messing things up in the future.

Instead, she has tried to get me to embrace the fact that I just "trend" this way -- I value closeness in a relationship, and there's nothing wrong with that.  She has also worked to remind me that just about ANYBODY would feel insecure if they had gone through what I have over the past 1.5 years.  She says that just in a little over a month, I have shown a lot of growth in my self-confidence by understanding that most of the things that went wrong in my last two relationships were a problem with the dynamic between us and not so much about ME screwing things up on my own.

We discussed what I get out of choosing "difficult" partners for most of the session, and I have already talked a little about that here previously.  I'll keep most of it to myself.  This week's homework is to really think about how I can tell if I'm putting someone on a pedestal and what I need to think about in order to avoid that going forward.  Good stuff.

~Sara

We had a happy hour yesterday with all my work friends as a "send off" for me to be gone for six weeks after my surgery.  They originally wanted to do it next Friday, but I told them that I wouldn't be drinking anything next week.  I have to make sure I'm only allowing "good" things into my body in preparation for this surgery!

Anyway, Lizzie gave me the BEST GIFT EVER before we got there.  It's a really cute purse that discretely holds up to two bottles of wine in a hidden bladder!  Awesome!  There's even a little spigot on the side (hidden as well) for you to fill up your glass!  I'll make good use of it tonight since a big group of us are going to see a band called the "Spazmatics" over at Lava Cantina.  Too fun!  Girls Night!!

~Sara

Hi Sara,

You certainly hit the lottery with your friend group, they all sound so supportive and affirming.  I hope you have an amazing GNO, it sure sounds like it will be!  I look forward to hearing more tomorrow!


Warmly,

Brooke

Quote from: TXSara on February 10, 2024, 11:23:58 AMWe had a happy hour yesterday with all my work friends as a "send off" for me to be gone for six weeks after my surgery.  They originally wanted to do it next Friday, but I told them that I wouldn't be drinking anything next week.  I have to make sure I'm only allowing "good" things into my body in preparation for this surgery!

Anyway, Lizzie gave me the BEST GIFT EVER before we got there.  It's a really cute purse that discretely holds up to two bottles of wine in a hidden bladder!  Awesome!  There's even a little spigot on the side (hidden as well) for you to fill up your glass!  I'll make good use of it tonight since a big group of us are going to see a band called the "Spazmatics" over at Lava Cantina.  Too fun!  Girls Night!!

~Sara

Awesome stuff Sara!

Enjoy your last concert where you can officially "Rock out with your..."

Next time you're all listening to music, you'll be able to "Jam out with your... "

I didn't even bother TRYING to finish those sentences. But you get the gist.

Love ya!
Allie

Hey Sara-

I think your big day is coming up quick. I thought I'd take a moment to wish you well. I hope every aspect goes as well as possible.

You have a huge cheering section here on 'susans'; I count myself as one of many.

~Jenn

Time to send in the ra ra girls and the marching band, best of wishes

Hi Sara

I totally support you from down under. Four days to go, yay

Best wishes, love and hugs
Sarah B

Quote from: Sarah B on February 16, 2024, 08:33:37 AMHi Sara

I totally support you from down under. Four days to go, yay

Best wishes, love and hugs
Sarah B

Well, that's about the most appropriate post I've ever seen... since Sara's surgery is all about her 'down under'.

Love always -- Jess

Hi Jessica

I thought I was supporting Sara (holding her up) from Australia, you absolutely cracked me up, laughing my proverbial backside off.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 16, 2024, 09:09:11 AMWell, that's about the most appropriate post I've ever seen... since Sara's surgery is all about her 'down under'.

Love always -- Jess

The pun the double entendre is outstanding. Absolute classic.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B

Hey, Sara. I'm thinking a good thought for you.

Sara,

Sending my positive thoughts and vibes your way

Ellen

I hope your surgery goes flawlessly, and you enjoy results so aesthetically and sensuously pleasing that you are in awe.  Here's to a speedy recovery.

Hi everyone!

Sorry I have been out of pocket over the past week!  There's so much to catch up on!  Here goes...

Last Saturday was an absolute blast.  The band was really entertaining, and we had absolutely no problem going through the two bottles of wine I had hidden in my brand new "wine purse".  Some of the folks near us got a kick out of watching me do the surreptitious pours out of the hidden spigot!  It was a great night!

-------------------------------

A couple things happened last weekend that made me feel like I'm on the right track with my therapy.

First, I tried to reestablish contact with my ex GF.  The reason wasn't to try to rekindle anything -- it was more to see if she wanted the Foo Fighters tickets that I had bought us back in December.  That is her favorite band, and those tickets would mean a lot more to her than to me (even though I could get some good $$ by scalping).  When I tried to reach out and be nice (without mentioning the tickets), I was reminded why we were so fundamentally incompatible.  She triggers the *$!&*@ out of me, and I'm sure I do the same to her.  Wow.  Yeah, I think I'm going to keep the tickets.  The good news about this is how unaffected I was by it all.  I'm totally over it, and I truly believe I may have dodged a bullet.  Note that I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with this person -- just that she is ABSOLUTELY not right for me.

Let's compare and contrast this to my latest friend, shall we?

As of last weekend, she and I had gone out a couple times.  It has been very chill, and we're really enjoying the conversation / company.  Our first dinner lasted 3 hours, and the second lasted four (we don't struggle for things to talk about LOL).  Anyway, I texted her that Friday with something that would normally expect a response.  I didn't hear anything back.  I texted again on Sunday with yet another message that would prompt a response.  Nothing.  Uh Oh.

Of course, being left on "read" is a HUGE trigger for me, and I began circling the drain.  I started thinking back to our date the previous Thursday, and I came to the conclusion that something I said about my transition toward the end of the night must have turned the abstract concept of dating a transgender woman into something more tangible and REAL.  She must have spooked or gotten the "ick".  I'm hyper-sensitive to this because it has happened WAY too many times over the past year.  Anyway, I gave it another day before I just couldn't take it anymore.

I'm proud of how I handled it.  In the past, I may have engaged in "protest behavior" by expressing my dissatisfaction while trying to save things.  I would have then continued to circle the drain waiting to see if there was going to be a positive outcome.  Not this time.  I politely let her know that I was moving on and that I'd see her around -- no hard feelings.  I deleted the text thread and went about my business.  "Peace Out".

The next day, I received a message from her apologizing profusely about not being able to respond immediately, getting really busy with her son over the weekend, then forgetting to message back.  We discussed my anxious-preoccupied attachment issues and how those tend to play out.  She was very supportive and let me know that she'll be better about this in the future.  We met up for "lunch of no return" yesterday and sat there talking for over 5 hours, breaking our previous record of four.  We're going the friendship-->companionship route first, and I'm liking the fact that there's a lot less pressure.  Maybe it blooms into something more and maybe not.  She's definitely worth my friendship, though.

~Sara

BTW, my "last supper" before going on liquid diet is tonight, so my girlfriends and I are going out to one of our favorite restaurants.  It'll be fun.  I don't deserve these wonderful women!

Hi Sara

I have you on my mind and I'm counting down the days as well, I know we are out of sync but hay at least I will be thinking of you around that time.

Good luck with the surgery.  Just this evening I was thinking of my surgery and I was sad and happy at the same time, that I had my surgery.

Hugs and Love
Sarah B
@TXSara

Oh wow! I just had the time this morning to read through this thread and it was amazing. Really. You are super resilient, determined, and persistent. I'm impressed. The time in leading up to my GCS had me so on edge that I could barely tolerate interacting with others. You? You're going out and meeting people and actually doing things! That alone is impressive. But the whole dating thing also? Dang, I'll state it again, impressive.

My wife and I discuss how things would be if we had to date. I just brought it up the other day. I mentioned that I would have no idea how to even go about trying to date someone. Seriously, I wouldn't even know step one. I consider how I would go about meeting someone and every single thought I come up with has me behaving super awkwardly.

Point being, bravo to you! I am sure that you will undoubtedly find whoever is right for you.

I also wish you my absolute best in your upcoming journey. It is going to go wonderfully and you are going to be so happy!