Thanks Ellen. "Removing a growth" is exactly how I feel about the surgery!
Final medical clearance tomorrow! YAY!
Just some random thoughts this morning as I get ready for surgery Friday:
For the first year after being diagnosed as transgender, I desperately sought out the cure. There had to be one.
What if I increased my testosterone? Nope, that only made my gender dysphoria worse. It was the wrong "gasoline" for my brain.
What if I focused only on "guy" stuff? Nope, did a lifetime of that. Doubling down didn't eliminate the core reality: I felt female.
How do I know I am female? How does anyone know their gender? You just know. Human genitalia is not gender.
What if I prayed? Nope. Tried that. God's got more important problems, and besides, She already gave me the answer: I am transgender.
What if I found a better diagnosis, one that would counter the multiple ones that said I was transgender? Nope, that's called conversion therapy. It's like doing surgery with a sledgehammer. The results are ugly and ineffective.
What is gender? A very huge area of controversy. I am taking the shortcut; I just know my gender is female. Thank you, Mr. Descartes.*
What is a woman? Oh, I am not going down that rabbithole. I accept humanity has infinite variations of what is a human. I will apply that same logic to infinite variations of being a woman.
Does that make me a woman? Yes, I am, given my answer above. I believe that I am a variation of that theme.
After days, months, and years of searching for the cure, I realized not only wasn't there a cure, there was nothing to cure.
I am simply transgender.
That's it.
