Quote from: Gina P on July 11, 2024, 07:02:29 AMSo I can see the job interview. Any medical problems we should be aware of? Well, I will need 6-8 weeks off soon, for surgery! This might be one of those things you don't disclose if you want to get hired. They cant discriminate against you but they can find a "more qualified candidate".
  I'm sure, you will find the strength to overcome this obstacle, considering how far you have come. Good luck

I am going to be honest with prospective employers-- I have major surgery coming up in late August with a 4 - 8 week recovery. I don't think anyone needs any more information. A cis female getting a hysterectomy for example, might say the same.

I've also decided I can turn this into a semi-plus. If a prospective employer wants to do a contract-to-perm thing, that works too. They get to sample my work without a commitment. I could swing some time on unemployment to cover expenses. ish.

Engineering job markets are tight. so stay tuned.

~Jenn

I got my yoga on just now. I went to the Saturday class as I have a ride tomorrow morning. I am pretty sure the whole cycling friend group can make this was. "Full group" rides are the best ones.

Half the group joined me in the heat Thursday to do the 20 mile beach loops. Everyone likes the loop - just enough distance and elevation for a late day leg stretch. Then I convinced the whole group to join us for "post ride hydration" on my patio. We lingered until late. Especially one of the women I am not so close with. I really enjoyed listening to her journey (she is not trans, so no one gets confused). I love the honesty of the group, cis and trans we bring ourselves and respect each other. Plus have a great time riding together.

Anyway, off to my Saturday. I need to spend a little time with my sister then clean the apartment. Rainy Saturday stuff.

Make it a good one everyone!

~Jenn

Taking a moment to catch up over my breakfast.

I had a decent weekend. The cycling group picked up someone new who slid in perfectly. We'd planned a 35 mile loop but it was muggy enough we cut back to a 22 mile loop. The morning ride was great! We did the loop at a bit under 17 mph. The pace felt easy. Rare for me, I spent the ride on the "big sprocket". Where oh where was this power in May? I puttered around most of the afternoon, getting my place clean.

I am organized for the week.

I am ummm negotiating let's call it with respect to my severance. I am being taken seriously. I hate to say it but I warned the company they should stop letting people overseas answer my questions. I will not stand for some things. I am also way way way more than my employment. I feel more energized than anything else.

True to me, I am keeping busy. I have my pro-op support group tonight then need to go to the non-profit board's annual celebration/debrief. I am co-hosting a "thank you volunteers" pizza party later in the week. I have a couple of rides lined up.

and there you go. Caught up for now.

~Jenn

The news is good. I hung up with HR just a moment ago. Add a month of health care coverage. Add two weeks of pay to the original package.

I applied the same skills to negotiating I learned with my health insurance carrier to my HR people.

Copacetic.

I might even be able to do better.

~Jenn

@Jenn104
Thank you for reporting your really good news regarding your HR meeting. 
The key thing that I always remember when negotiating is that if you don't ask, you
probably will not receive.  All they can say is NO, or perhaps offer an alternative.

I am eagerly awaiting your news on your job searching....
       I am wishing you well in that effort.

HUGS, Danielle

Way to go, Jenn!

I like that you never give up, not in a race and certainly not in life.
Go, Jenn, go!

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on July 15, 2024, 04:15:49 PMJenn104
Thank you for reporting your really good news regarding your HR meeting. 
The key thing that I always remember when negotiating is that if you don't ask, you
probably will not receive.  All they can say is NO, or perhaps offer an alternative.

I am eagerly awaiting your news on your job searching....
       I am wishing you well in that effort.
HUGS, Danielle

Thanks Danielle!

My job search is going to be long and tough. This is a buyer's market, that is for every opening there are going to be at least 4 qualified applicants. Probably more. Almost every position will be applied to by a few hundred people.

I will keep posting as I can. I do a lot of self care and introspection. Maybe you've noticed my transition is kind of scrappy. I have to dig in to get some things done. I've learned susan's is a valuable group for me. I've also learned trying to share every last detail doesn't work for me. Post a string of "interviewed.. not selected... interviewed.. not selected" doesn't work for me. As much as I'd love to be totally transparent, I need to watch my mental health too.

~Jenn

Quote from: LoriDee on July 15, 2024, 05:34:34 PMWay to go, Jenn!

I like that you never give up, not in a race and certainly not in life.
Go, Jenn, go!

I'd like an easy button. I wish I didn't have to be a fighter. Winning a fight is an uplifting story to share. Winning a fight is exhilarating in the moment. It is all mentally exhausting.

Throw in being laid off.

Throw in my bottom surgery is 42 days from today. I am on the low end of the anxiety zone. I am anxious. I know it'll be worse too.

Throw in some personal things I don't feel right about sharing

I was on a morning ride with a good friend. My boobs have noticeably grown in the last month so my balance was a little off anyway. Stack in all the personal stuff... and let me just say a panic attack while cycling is white knuckle experience I'd like to not have again.

Right now I need to catch up on some paperwork. Compartmentalize. Everything is going to be fine. I am way more fragile than I let on. The trick is to not stay too low, too long.



~Jenn

Jenn, I had bottom surgery at 30. I remember my first chance to leave the bed. When I was about to stand, I didn't know if I should puke or faint, as I felt like doing both. I did neither, but my point is that the surgery walloped me. So, steel yourself. At least it's free for you. I paid every penny of my transition and it was a LOT of pennies.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 16, 2024, 02:02:55 PMJenn, I had bottom surgery at 30. I remember my first chance to leave the bed. When I was about to stand, I didn't know if I should puke or faint, as I felt like doing both. I did neither, but my point is that the surgery walloped me. So, steel yourself. At least it's free for you. I paid every penny of my transition and it was a LOT of pennies.

Hey O&C -

I am going to take a moment here to remind everyone reading that anyone who transitioned when you did is a total goddess, a Cap-G Goddess, in my book. You and your peers opened doors for subsequent generations. You  and your peers can never be thanked enough, in my thinking anyway.


~Jenn

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 16, 2024, 02:02:55 PMJenn, I had bottom surgery at 30. I remember my first chance to leave the bed. When I was about to stand, I didn't know if I should puke or faint, as I felt like doing both. I did neither, but my point is that the surgery walloped me. So, steel yourself. At least it's free for you. I paid every penny of my transition and it was a LOT of pennies.

Jenn,
   When I had my vaginoplasty 5 weeks ago, I was waiting for the pain to kick in, which it never did. I asked the nurses about why I was not in much pain? There only response was everyone experiences pain differently. Day 5 they took me off all pain meds. Everyone is different, but for me it was easy, peasy. Day 2, I was walked around the floor pushing a walker, day 3 they walked with me, day 4 they let me walk alone and I walked the halls 3 times a day. Granted I had to carry my purse as the nurses called it ( my catheter bag) but I walked 1/2 mile as my tracker said. My hardest thing is not overdoing it. Even now I'm weeding the garden and doing some light duty stuff for work. I brought a pair of slippers and a robe to the hospital. It made for a more 'modest' walking time. 
  Don't sweat the surgery, you will do fine especially considering how great of shape you are in.
Hugs Gina

Quote from: Gina P on July 17, 2024, 08:46:37 AMJenn,
   When I had my vaginoplasty 5 weeks ago, I was waiting for the pain to kick in, which it never did. I asked the nurses about why I was not in much pain? There only response was everyone experiences pain differently. Day 5 they took me off all pain meds. Everyone is different, but for me it was easy, peasy. Day 2, I was walked around the floor pushing a walker, day 3 they walked with me, day 4 they let me walk alone and I walked the halls 3 times a day. Granted I had to carry my purse as the nurses called it ( my catheter bag) but I walked 1/2 mile as my tracker said. My hardest thing is not overdoing it. Even now I'm weeding the garden and doing some light duty stuff for work. I brought a pair of slippers and a robe to the hospital. It made for a more 'modest' walking time.
  Don't sweat the surgery, you will do fine especially considering how great of shape you are in.
Hugs Gina

Thanks Gina--

In a vacuum, I think I am good. Or as good as I can be. I am having major surgery. If I wasn't anxious I wouldn't be human.

Its just all the other jigsaw puzzle pieces floating around that mess with my head. For example, I had a phone screen yesterday which went well. Then my noodle starts working OT. I only need to disclose I am having major, non-elective surgery in late August. When do I say that (not on a phone screen thanks)? Can I put off a start date if I am selected? how long? I mean no way can I do a new prior auth in under 6 weeks...

and then I commit to a yoga class to rebalance. I got my yoga on this morning. I can report hot yoga is indeed hot. Altho I get that it does make you supple... and a little drippy.

make sense?

~Jenn

Dont stress about the surgery, it will be fine. I had no pain either, they kept giving me painkillers and I said not needed. You soon get over the John Wayne walk!!!!

Well.

I am still waiting on that easy button.

I did a 45 mile ride called "bikes and brews" with the queer cycling group last weekend. On the whole it was a good day-- easy ride with friends. Plus beers and fun after. Two problems though, On checking in the person I dealt with got a little testy, arguing "Jennifer isn't you". sigh. A slap in the face and a tacit admission in a bike helmet and sports bra, I don't pass. I sent email; I await a reply. If I don't point out how anyone can improve, I have no one save myself to blame when things don't get better.  I also felt my balance was a little off. My boobs (I can say boob now right), had a growth spurt and I am figuring out balance. I've decided to switch out clipless pedals for flats. No serious miles until the spring, just "fun" riding. 5 ish weeks out from bottom surgery I am not getting hurt.


Not a lot of traction on the job front. My former engineering team is getting together end of day Wednesday. I am looking forward to it. A few of us are in touch and talking often.


All three of my daughters are back in touch. this is amazing and good news. even the recalcitrant one is talking and wants to see me soon. They are mourning a male parent. They are moving into a different phase of grief. I am here for them.

I am hoping my BA - currently scheduled near thanksgiving in late November - makes "passing" issues slightly better.

Finally, my inner dead head says the universe talks loud and clear to us, we just have to listen. I realized overnight my GCS date is on the anniversary of a well considered show. The show I consider their best (which is not Cornell 77, thank you). My avatar on the now-lost board was part of the cover art. I am legit surprised I never noticed the date before now. Clearly, the universe is telling me I am on the right day, doing the right thing. With no doubt. although maybe this is a dead head thing.

~Jenn

Jenn trust the universe dear, I was washed out this morning so didn't go to the workshop. Must have been a good reason for that.

Update on the bike thing--

I received a reply to my email pretty quickly. They agree- for a casual ride there is no reason for anyone to be hassled on check in. They will modify their procedures and instruct volunteers more carefully.


If I don't send the email, nothing changes for anyone.


~Jenn

Quote from: Gina P on July 17, 2024, 08:46:37 AMDay 5 they took me off all pain meds. Everyone is different, but for me it was easy, peasy. Day 2, I was walked around the floor pushing a walker, day 3 they walked with me, day 4 they let me walk alone and I walked the halls 3 times a day. Granted I had to carry my purse as the nurses called it ( my catheter bag) but I walked 1/2 mile as my tracker said.

Day 2 you were walking??? Wow, Gina, wow. Now, I had my surgery 38 years ago and perhaps they've reconfigured the surgery to improve the recovery time, but I was barely conscious on Day 2. I'm so glad it was easier for you, Gina, and I hope it'll be easier for you too, Jenn.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on July 23, 2024, 02:56:46 PMDay 2 you were walking??? Wow, Gina, wow. Now, I had my surgery 38 years ago and perhaps they've reconfigured the surgery to improve the recovery time, but I was barely conscious on Day 2. I'm so glad it was easier for you, Gina, and I hope it'll be easier for you too, Jenn.

I go in on a Tuesday. Normal schedule is to be discharged on a Friday. Once in a bit they keep patients until Saturday. Normally patients return the Monday after for care and dilation help.

The anxiety-o-meter is a 3 of 10. I have time yet.

~Jenn

Quote from: Jenn104 on July 23, 2024, 03:03:27 PMI go in on a Tuesday. Normal schedule is to be discharged on a Friday. Once in a bit they keep patients until Saturday. Normally patients return the Monday after for care and dilation help.

The anxiety-o-meter is a 3 of 10. I have time yet.

~Jenn

The times they have a-changed, it seems.

If I remember right I was out of bed on day 2, walking down the corridor on day 4. No pain just discomfort, home in a week and driving in 2 weeks to do a food shop.