Raegan,
Do you have a therapist who can help you through this? We all have tough times and I know from experience how rough it can be without any support system. I see my Psychologist about once a month, belong to a Veterans LGBTQ+ Support Group, and all of my friends and family right here!
Even if you don't have anyone local, you have plenty of us locos here. Come hang out with us. Tell us about your hobbies, play some word games with us, or just read what everyone has been up to. Staying busy keeps your thoughts on other things. Choose happy things and you can get through this.
Hugs!
Lori Dee