This is gonna be my life story. I'm not a transgender, just a parent of a trangender child (left photo was taken 5 years ago, before the transition, and the right in this summer), and now I'm being persecuted by the country I live in, the court wants to terminate my parental rights. The logical question is what am I and my child doing in such a country? All things was different 2.5 years ago, there were legal ways to change a gender but all was changed after the war. Now I can't to cross the bourder even if my daughter will be look as a boy again until the administrative case against me is not closed and it could end up taking my baby away from me. There's nothing else to do but pray. If something happens to me, I'm gonna leave a "footprint" here at least. I found this forum by accident and I wish to stay here among people who understand me. If I do something wrong in this thread, I will apologize and understand, I'm always resilient in defeat. Believing in the best, preparing for the worst. I'm rejected, hated, lonely and desperate.

@CaringWhisper
CaringWhisper:
I think it is wonderful that you started your own personal Blog Thread.  Just writing details out like you have is not only a good recap for your readers and followers but it also can be good personal therapy for you as well. 

As you might already be aware, I have my personal Blog Thread here on the Forum but I also keep an "old-school" pen & paper journal at home complete with colorful doodling and appropriate snapshot photos.  I have kept a personal journal since I was in Junior High School... we called them "Diaries" back then.
I find that when I have difficult issues that I am working through that writing down my thoughts helps me to ponder and to formulate positive solutions.    When things are going well, I certainly write about those things as well.

As your Blog thread develops more regular readers and followers you can expect joyful and congratulatory responses to your good news and when your news is not-so-good, you will find your readers and followers offering their ears to listen and their shoulders for you to lean on.

On cold and rainy nights when I am staying in, I often find myself in my comfy chair in front of my fireplace thumbing through and reviewing my journals, that is when I can gain insights as to what I need to do to overcome future difficulties and to see how to avoid future problems....  I can spend hours just reminiscing about my past life events.... sometimes with tears in my eyes.

I will be eagerly following your new Blog Thread, and please, if you will, continue to keep it updated as you feel comfortable doing. 
Your new Blog Thread will be in essence your HOME here on the Forum where your readers and followers can find you and leave their comments and thoughts.
Here on the forums you will certainly come across many like-minded members here, some can become very good friends as you share your thoughts with one-another on the various threads around the Forums but also in Personal Message exchanges.

Thank you for starting and posting your new personal Blog thread....
...you will find it quite beneficial to yourself and perhaps it will provide help and encouragement to others that read it.

HUGS and well wishes,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

Quote from: CaringWhisper on September 18, 2024, 12:00:07 PMI wish to stay here among people who understand me. If I do something wrong in this thread, I will apologize and understand, I'm always resilient in defeat. Believing in the best, preparing for the worst. I'm rejected, hated, lonely and desperate.

There are places in the world where people have a very difficult time just being people. It is sad and hopefully, things will change for the better.

I have no doubts that you are a good mom, recognizing the needs of your child and being there with care and understanding. The proof is in that little girl's smile.

Good luck on your journey. We support you.

Hugs!

Lori Dee

CaringWhisper, here you are welcome, loved, and among friends. Don't worry about doing something 'wrong' here, the moderators and admins are usually quite gentle with their corrections. I think all of us have broken the rules on occasion.

What you and your daughter are going though is heartbreaking. I hope you are able to hold out until a better regime comes into power, or until you can get to a safer place. We are here for you if you ever need to talk.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

I am so sorry that you and your child are having to suffer like that.  I pray that things get better for you both and others in a similar situation.

Thank you for the kind words, it helps me a lot. Today was very cold in the morning. It's time to work, I'm very happy that I love my job and this beauty salon belongs to me by 50 percent. Yes, it may look unassuming because it is essentially a converted apartment on the 1st floor of a residential building but it already become my 2nd home. Because of the difficulty of the language barrier I can call myself as a beauty maker. Since childhood, I have loved the beauty embedded in aesthetics and elegance and can't tolerate any kind of vulgarity.

It must be so challenging to be a parent of a transgender child.  It must be challenging to be a transgender child.

I wish the best for you two. 

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on September 19, 2024, 04:59:09 AMIt must be challenging to be a transgender child.

I'm trying to do everything I can to keep my daughter's mind off the difficulties but I can't to defeat society.
In the summer we grow our hair, wear dresses, and by fall we dress in unisex style because of school - she don't like it and I'm happy with that. But still, I have a strong sense of guilt.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on September 19, 2024, 04:59:09 AMI wish the best for you two. 
Chrissy

Thank you Chrissy, I wish the same to you.

It's very sunny today, we have a term that can be translated literally as a grannys summer - warm days in the fall when old ladies can come out and sit on the benches. Today I decided to draw all colors, all shades that the human eye can see, I'll post the result in the hobby section. In bad news, the court demanded hard copies of all electronic documents, this was done specifically on friday so that I would have less days to collect as all officials are on vacation on the weekend, I'll start that on monday... By the way, does anyone want to video chat with me? Just for fun and to improve my english, looking for random strangers I don't want to.

Quote from: CaringWhisper on September 20, 2024, 02:59:25 AMBy the way, does anyone want to video chat with me? Just for fun and to improve my english,

You could check out our Discord channel. I'm unfamiliar with what Discord has available, but there are always many people there. If voice chat is unavailable, maybe one of our members there has their own way of doing that for video chat. It's worth a try.

Go to our Home page and scroll down to the bottom. You will see a section of who is online and a link to our Discord server. Hope this helps.

Quote from: Lori Dee on September 20, 2024, 08:35:50 AMYou could check out our Discord channel.

I was there, TheOccupant asked me what brought me to this channel and at this moment I realized that I had nothing to say. The Discord channel is a more private community where I'm an outsider because I'm not a transgender.

Urban life makes us think more about nature - nature paintings, films about country life are always popular among the people trapped in megacities. At night, when there's less noise I hear the city whispering to me about nature, talking through the sounds of birds and the rustling of falling leaves in the city alleys. I want to spend all night in a tent again, shivering at every sound of the forest like in a childhood.

Quote from: CaringWhisper on September 26, 2024, 11:29:28 AMI was there, TheOccupant asked me what brought me to this channel and at this moment I realized that I had nothing to say. The Discord channel is a more private community where I'm an outsider because I'm not a transgender.

Urban life makes us think more about nature - nature paintings, films about country life are always popular among the people trapped in megacities. At night, when there's less noise I hear the city whispering to me about nature, talking through the sounds of birds and the rustling of falling leaves in the city alleys. I want to spend all night in a tent again, shivering at every sound of the forest like in a childhood.

You are never an outsider. You are an ally, so you are always welcome. You, like other Significant Others, might be outnumbered, but you are no less welcome.

I am a big fan of Nature myself and spend every opportunity in the forest. Partly because I am gold prospecting or rock-hounding, but mostly because I love it.

I was "in-between" apartments this past summer. I left my old apartment when my lease expired but my new apartment was still under construction. So I went tent camping in the forest for six weeks. It was unbearably hot, so I moved my campsite to higher elevations. It was cooler during the day, but the nights were quite cold. We got hit by a strong hail storm, and although I was camped and parked my Jeep under the trees, two large hail stones ripped holes in my tent.

No regrets, I still loved being out and took many photos of flowers and butterflies and squirrels. I have a photo album at: Homeless (Camping) July 2023

My new apartment was finished on August 1 and I was the first tenant to move in on August 14th. I look forward to doing it again, except I prefer having a home to go back to. 

Quote from: Lori Dee on September 26, 2024, 11:53:06 AMYou are never an outsider. You are an ally, so you are always welcome. You, like other Significant Others, might be outnumbered, but you are no less welcome.

I am a big fan of Nature myself and spend every opportunity in the forest. Partly because I am gold prospecting or rock-hounding, but mostly because I love it.

I was "in-between" apartments this past summer. I left my old apartment when my lease expired but my new apartment was still under construction. So I went tent camping in the forest for six weeks. It was unbearably hot, so I moved my campsite to higher elevations. It was cooler during the day, but the nights were quite cold. We got hit by a strong hail storm, and although I was camped and parked my Jeep under the trees, two large hail stones ripped holes in my tent.

No regrets, I still loved being out and took many photos of flowers and butterflies and squirrels. I have a photo album at: Homeless (Camping) July 2023

My new apartment was finished on August 1 and I was the first tenant to move in on August 14th. I look forward to doing it again, except I prefer having a home to go back to. 

I have read your site in my very first few days on the site, a mystic from the Black Hills of South Dakota, I respect you for your hard work, I'd love to visit your place, but unfortunately we will never meet in person (in this life at least). The photos are great by the way.

Chocolate shop in my city. It's gonna hurt to eat all of this stuff.

Thank you for sharing. Those are wonderful. I really love the tea set!

Quote from: CaringWhisper on September 26, 2024, 11:29:28 AMI was there, TheOccupant asked me what brought me to this channel and at this moment I realized that I had nothing to say. The Discord channel is a more private community where I'm an outsider because I'm not a transgender.

Urban life makes us think more about nature - nature paintings, films about country life are always popular among the people trapped in megacities. At night, when there's less noise I hear the city whispering to me about nature, talking through the sounds of birds and the rustling of falling leaves in the city alleys. I want to spend all night in a tent again, shivering at every sound of the forest like in a childhood.

I have only been on Discord once. I am transgender but I still felt like an outsider, as I felt that i was just listening in halfway through conversations and didn't really know what was going on. Navigating the site seemed more complicated than on this forum. I think that if I keep at it I could make more sense of Discord and add my pennyworth to the conversation. 

You could certainly make a valuable contribution, being the mother of a transgender child in difficult circumstances. 

I am also a city dweller who misses nature.  I relieve the yearning by having horns and antlers on my walls, which has a spiritual effect on me. 

Quote from: Lori Dee on September 27, 2024, 08:32:50 AMThank you for sharing. Those are wonderful. I really love the tea set!

I plan to buy a chocolate Christmas tree in this year, it's usually show up around december.

Quote from: MaryT on September 27, 2024, 10:02:02 AMI have only been on Discord once. I am transgender but I still felt like an outsider, as I felt that i was just listening in halfway through conversations and didn't really know what was going on. Navigating the site seemed more complicated than on this forum. I think that if I keep at it I could make more sense of Discord and add my pennyworth to the conversation. 

You could certainly make a valuable contribution, being the mother of a transgender child in difficult circumstances. 

I am also a city dweller who misses nature.  I relieve the yearning by having horns and antlers on my walls, which has a spiritual effect on me.

I had good facial in high school, but somehow I wasn't interested in socializing with my classmates. There was always an autumn in my soul, I was not enough of the simple joys around me, I always wanted something more. I feel like I was born this way by nature, the eternal search for something more sets me apart from the rest. My favorite time of year is the fall, my favorite time of day is night. When I was a girl I liked to just walk the streets in the morning and watch people, I used to skip classes very often. I liked to just walk and not think about anything.

What is the harsh truth about me? I'm here because of my selfishness. Everything that's happening to my daughter right now is my fault. I should have planned it out from the beginning and not started the transition before the relocation. I only came to this forum because I was looking for a place where no one would judge me, it's the easiest way, trying to find excuses for my own mistakes. And that's why I felt ashamed, I couldn't answer anything to @TheOccupant and silently walked away. Maybe I had no right to start the transition, and the idea that I have a better sense of my child is false, I felt it because I wanted to feel it, not because it was real. But what's done is done.

I understand your feelings, human nature is always the same only the trappings change. And I also understand the feelings of an outcast because I'm being bullied. Do you know what the very first heartbreak of my life was? There's no such thing as justice in this world because everyone has a different understanding of justice.

I don't want to drive myself into pessimism, I'm slowly climbing out of my decadent thoughts. I don't want to cry, I wanna to enjoy life. Drawing and listening to music helps me get out of a stressful situation. I have a great life, there are people much less lucky than me, I want to help others, I feel a strong sense of empathy for humanity.

Thank you for sharing.
You are among friends here.

HUGS!

@CaringWhisper
You have my full attention... CHOCOLATE !

When you finally obtain your Chocolate Christmas Tree, please be certain
to post a picture...... 

I like the idea of a chocolate Christmas Tree....  when Christmas is over
the best way to dispose of the tree is to eat it!!!  A Christmas gift
to yourself that you can enjoy !!!

Thank you for sharing and posting here on the Forum about your life, your daughter,
and certainly your sharing of your artwork.

HUGS and my best wishes to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

Quote from: CaringWhisper on September 27, 2024, 12:05:38 PMWhat is the harsh truth about me? I'm here because of my selfishness. Everything that's happening to my daughter right now is my fault. I should have planned it out from the beginning and not started the transition before the relocation. I only came to this forum because I was looking for a place where no one would judge me, it's the easiest way, trying to find excuses for my own mistakes.

You can only do what you think best based on the information you have available at the time. We all get things wrong, but mistakes are useful if you use them to learn.

Think how much the support you are giving is helping your child now, and remember how much of the support you can give is only working because of experience you learned from in the past.

You sound fantastic. The most important help a parent can give is being understanding and helping children understand we must compromise sometimes in order to get what we want. You are doing that so well when so many parents do not do it at all.