@Michelle_K 
Dear Michelle:
I am so sorry to read of your bad news regarding your cancelled appointment
and I am wishing your a speedy referal from the VA for another Endo.

Please keep me and the rest of your followers and readers updated.
I am wishing for success for you.
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: Michelle_K on October 29, 2024, 03:39:59 PMDisappointments, after waiting 2 months for my appointment, The endocrinologist has contacted the veterans health and informed them that they no longer provide that kind of service. Now veterans health will find me another endocrinologist, hopefully in the St. Cloud, MN. area. That would mean only a hours drive, and they already have most of my records. According to the map, slightly north of St. Cloud VA medical center.
Michelle

Sorry to hear that Michelle. Is St. Cloud closer than Minneapolis? Minneapolis is the big honcho for VA Transgender Medicine. When I started my transition, I had several appointments via video link with the Minneapolis VA. I stopped seeing them because I wanted someone I could talk to face-to-face locally.

If you have a small VA Outpatient Clinic nearby, they can set up a video appointment with Minneapolis VA at least to get you started. It's worth looking into.

The map shows the Minneapolis VA to be 79 miles. It would be a straight shot until I would get to where the 2 freeways cross.
The St. Cloud VA is about 50 miles. It is just a couple of blocks from the Crossroads Mall. And it is close to grocery stores. I was considering driving the 50 miles to the mall area to check out the stores.

If it is CentraCare, then they already have my hospital information, and a gender dysphoria diagnosis is already in the system.
Michelle

The VA in the Midwest uses Optum.

You could have the St. Cloud Clinic set up the appointment with Minneapolis via video link. Then you only need to do the 50 miles and can go shopping too. If St. Cloud has an endocrinologist you are good to go. But if they don't use the video link to see the endocrinology dept at Minneapolis since it is the same drive to St. Cloud either way you do it.

I have been using VA video connect for group sessions. I get emailed the link the day of the session. It is not a Zoom call. I actually do the VA video connect from my home computer. I also receive a text link on my iPhone, and could use that for the VA video link.

Now, I'm kind of waiting for them to contact me to set up an appointment.
Michelle

I'm trying to get this deal about talking sorted out. It might be that some of it is based on a lie that my sister told. The fact that both parents made the statement that girls never lie, gives her power over me. I need to believe her because girls never lie. If she tells me that I need permission from my dad to speak then I can't tell him what she has done.

For instance, We sit down to watch tv. My dad demands silence, we can't even laugh at any jokes. My sister sits beside me and starts jabbing her finger into my side. I move from the couch to the floor, she moves with me. Finally, I say stop, and get sent to the kitchen for making noises, no excuses. I am not allowed to explain what she was doing.
If I can be quiet, I can return to watch tv. If I return to watch tv, she will again jab me in the side with her finger.
Over the years it is forgotten why I do not sit and watch tv with the family. It got strange that I could sit and watch tv by myself, but if a girl sat beside me, I would panic, but only if she sat on my left side. I needed to remember my sister was jabbing me in my left side.

While growing up we had a dog house plaque, and pups representing us. One day my sister did something and her pup ended up in the dog house. She made sure I was watching, and swapped hers for mine. As soon as I grabbed mine to swap them back, she yelled for mom. Mom said put it back, no buts, I could not explain what what my sister had done.
Michelle

Trying to print out some paper dolls from Pinterest. The problem is I ran out of ink, and refilling the tank did not help. One color is not printing, so the guys gray jacket when printed was pink.
Thinking about paper dolls, I seem to remember magnetic paper dolls. I could take a printable magnetic sheet and print the paper dolls on them. I was thinking sticking to the refrigerator, but a metal patio table could be used. Or the clothes would stay on magnetically.

Another idea is to resize the paper dolls in my computer, and print out paper dolls for my Barbie dolls.

It got a bit freaky when I thought of taking a photo of myself and my clothes and make paper dolls of myself.

I used to play Sims 2, and on the internet, I found some transgender Sims and some furry Sims. If I remember right, they did have tails. I think I always chose a female character.

Some of the Monster High dolls have tails, and some are furry.
Michelle

I was watching a video about organic food available at Costco. I then did some research.
First, I would have to drive 50 miles to get there. But it is in the Cross Roads Mall area of St. Cloud, MN.
Second, I would need to pay for a 12 month membership card to do any shopping.
third, To ensure that all members are correctly charged for the merchandise purchased, all receipts and merchandise will be inspected as you leave the warehouse.(directly from their website.)

It looks like I would also get a members discount on gasoline. But, I am unable to compare prices, or products. It seems like a situation of paying for a years membership, without seeing what the products are.

I remember somebody once telling me that he drove 10 miles to save 10 cents on a bag of sugar. That would be 20 miles round trip.
I am a single person, living alone. The question becomes, is it worthwhile to drive the distance to save a little bit of money. If I made the trip once a month, then I would need a larger area to store the food, and the savings would be larger. Every other week might be better all around, at least until I get organized enough to buy enough to last the two week.

I kept thinking about the local stores, where the gas discount depended on how much you paid for food.
Michelle

I got a deep freezer chest on sale once. I would drive 50 miles to the Air Force base and stock up on meat. Even with the cost of gas, I saved money. Then while shark fishing off Avila Beach in CA, I met a shrimp fisherman (not Forrest Gump). He told me he comes in on Saturdays with huge prawns and he would sell them for a dollar a pound fresh off the boat. My friends and I would load up camping coolers full of prawns and ice. Put them in the freezer chest too.

The next step was to start a vegetable garden. I had so much extra that I would give it away to friends. The only groceries we paid for were things like milk, bread, spices, and pasta.

I just now realized it is Halloween. I went and looked out the window, and saw a few of the kids. I think my house is the only one without a porch light. I have never been able to find the switch for the light, wondering if got removed and a blank plate put in its place.

Not that it would matter, other then a violation of the probation my cousin put on me. The same bully that was on the school bus. Whose parents denied he was a bully. Do you think that at some later time they would admit it.
No matter where it came from, it was ultimately my dad who lied to her parents. Her brother was the same bully that was on the school bus, and decided my punishment was to be sexually abused by him and the other boy cousins. And the command was given that I was to stay away from all the girls or there would be more sexual abuse.
It is unknown if my uncles knew what their sons had done, but they also made sure that I stayed away from their daughters. I seem to remember something about later parties where I would be sitting next to the men and I would be sitting there while they all got a plate of food. I was usually the last one in line, when I did get in line. I think that might be wrong, no longer a line for the food.
Just generally show that I am no longer welcome there, but tolerated because I'm related. Now that I think about it, it has been over sixty years since I have spoken to any of the girls.

Note that it was not stated to stay away from their sisters, it was clear to stay away from all the girls.
had it been only what the boys had done, quite likely it would have been dismissed as him being a bully. What the fathers did seemed to reinforce the actions of the boys.

It was years later, while I was going to trade school, I had met some girls. The way I was, I was actually one of the girls.
One day my dad said he knew I was having sex with the girls, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no. The following weekend, he accused me of speeding with his vehicle. I was told not to deny it as I had been seen. I was tired and wanted to get some sleep. It was made plain that I was not getting to bed until I admitted I had been speeding, and said maybe as I passed someone. My driving privileges were revoked. and I had to get an apartment close by the trade school.
Again accused of having sex with the girls and punished.
It would be years later that for some reason he had to remind me about sex with my cousin being incest. It was a lie because it never happened, the same lie that got me punished by her brother.

Again years later, I think it was after the movie Crocodile Dundee came out. He wasn't quite my nephew, but close enough. While he was visiting, he decided to grab my crouch, and then bragged to his sister that he had touched me. I freaked, the last thing I needed was a teacher finding out a high school kid touched me.
I don't know if that was the cause, but I was later holding a knife, ready to cut that thing off so I would never again be accused.

Now I know why he was looking at me so odd at the family reunion. He had touched the male parts of the girl that was in front of him.

I almost missed one. The movie my dad took me to when I was old enough. The guy on screen got castrated for not staying away from the girls like he was told to.
Michelle

I had to check my ancestry tree, and the boy cousin that was a bully was about 4 years older than me. So if I was 11 at the time, he would have been 15. I think the other boys may have been about the same age as him.
It does raise the possibility that I was picked on because at the time I would have been the youngest boy. However, even earlier, this bully would pull my pants down exposing me to the other boys.

A question was raised once about telling his parents. His parents had been told, and their response was that their child would never do that. And then he comes back and makes sure you know he is doing this because someone told his parents.

I need to tie up a few loose ends. When I was 3-4 years old I got dropped off at my uncle's house for the several months that my parents went out west. While at my uncle's house, due to the fact that we were close to the same age, I became best friends with his daughter. As we lived about half a mile apart, our friendship continued. Her brother was the bully.
Michelle

For some reason, You Tube is giving me tours through grocery chains. Whole Foods and Trader Joe's would require me to drive about 100 miles to to get to a store. Another store is about 50 miles away. And a couple others are in the nearby town. The ones in the nearby town are smaller than the same store 50 miles away, and do not have the selection. It's a matter of how much of a product might get sold.

It's like the local Target store does not sell groceries. I can drive 30 miles to a bigger town, the Target store is bigger and has some groceries. If I was to drive 50 miles to an even bigger town, or small city, then the Target store is even bigger, and has a huge grocery area.
It may be a difference of size where in the local store you would get organic grass fed hamburger, but no other kind of grass fed. Whereas, in the bigger store I might find cheaper, non organic grass fed hamburger.
It is a bit of a surprise to find ground Buffalo in the local Cash Wise food store.
Michelle

I have trouble finding some Indian spices/seeds for my curies locally , good job I can get them online. I wanted to try a goat curry but cant find anywhere local that sells goat meat or mutton (old sheep) , price of lamb has gone up by about a third as well.

Today I drove to Cokato to drop off my monthly mini storage rent. I decided to continue on to Delano, to the Coborn's food store. In total that was 53.4 miles from home. The meat selection was not that great, it looked like they had higher priced brand named hamburger. This store even had a sushi counter. But I could not find any sandwich to eat, maybe due to the McDonald's just a few yards from the store.
I wasn't feeling all that great since all I had for breakfast was one bowl of cereal, and that was 4 hours before, otherwise I might have continued on to Ridgedale mall.

I looked to check the Harley Davidson dealer, and could not see the sign. A check on the internet shows Crow River Harley Davidson in Delano is permanently closed. As I check in that direction, the nearest one becomes 77.2 miles away in Eden Prairie.
At 57.1 miles away near St Cloud is Viking Land Harley Davidson. The route takes me within 1 block of Crossroads Center mall in St. Cloud.
Michelle

CentraCare let me know that they received the referral. They sent me a letter through MyChart. My Veterans Health card is already on file there, so hopefully there is no problem.
The thing is, CentraCare also has my Medicare information. And they have the pre-operation tests that were done for the wrist plates and later cataract surgery.

I was just looking at the x ray report for July 1, 2023. I thought about my nephew, that a couple decades ago, landed on the sidewalk and broke both wrists. I think he was wearing casts while going to school.
Michelle

I found a temporary Halloween shop. Today was the last day. I did find a clapboard for making videos, and I got some wigs. There were a lot of nice costumes, but unfortunately, they were all too small.

It got a little strange as I had another egg that was larger than normal. I made sure that I was making a video when I cracked it open, so now I have 2 videos of double yolk eggs. I think I need to convert the format and post them on the internet. I can edit the first one so I have just the cracking of the egg for Facebook.
Michelle

Growing up on a ranch, we had a chicken that laid double-yolk eggs. They were not bigger around, just longer like two eggs jammed together. I have even gotten some from Walmart.

Once again I turn my subject to talking, or rather the lack of talking. The question is, what does one thing have to do with the other? If I am forbidden to go near any girls, then how am I to learn how to socialize.
The board games, card games, or whatever. You took too long with your chores, we started without you.
Did I make a mistake, no talking with your mouth full becomes no talking while eating. It is not exactly the same thing. No talking while eating could mean while there is food on your plate. The whole thing could be a misunderstanding.

Is it the way I talk, or the way I sound that seems to be a joke. Anyway, if I don't talk, then I don't get laughed at. Speaking of sounds, when my dad works nights, I am not to make any sounds. If I do, I might wake him up, and mom would get angry. Did anyone explain to me that he works nights one week and days the next?

Then there is the autism, and damaged hearing. My sister's screams in my ears were very painful. The parent's attitude, I think they would both agree that my sister is an angel, and any hearing problem is another attempt to get out of work. This is from a guy who once told me that the reason to have kids is for them to do the work we don't want to do.

I think it was about 20 years ago that I had my ears tested and was told that hearing aids would not help. I just recently got a hearing test and I was informed that the technology has advanced and they can amplify just the frequencies that I have a loss with. It would be nice to hear properly again.
I could point at all kinds of things that could have given me a hearing loss, none of them would have given me the scars on my ear drums.
Michelle

Being German, I was interested in the lederhosen skirt. Only thing was according to the video, lederhosen literally means leather pant, and is a man's outfit. Ebay has a similar outfit for women, with a skirt and made of leather.

I turned my attention to my Scottish ancestry. I learned that a kilt can be worn by a woman, and some are specifically made for women. I also learned that it is not necessary to wear a dress jacket with a kilt.

Then I went to ancestry to check my family tree and see if I could find a Scottish name. When I checked my DNA it seems that some upgrade changed the results, and I no longer have any Scottish or Swedish ancestry. Denmark still shows, so I should still have Viking ancestry. According to the video, I'm still allowed to wear a kilt. It might be a change of definitions and Ireland and Scotland may be included with England.
Michelle

Short sword and shield then!! Dont think you would get away with woad !!