I am so glad that you enjoyed the story Brynn.  It is important for to know that people actually enjoy what I write rather than feeling I am burdening people with my ego.

Quote from: Emma1017 on December 29, 2024, 09:14:41 AMI am so glad that you enjoyed the story Brynn.  It is important for to know that people actually enjoy what I write rather than feeling I am burdening people with my ego.

Very few people in this world have the gift that you do, Emma.

Anyone can write words. Very few people can tell stories. <3

Sephirah that was an amazingly lovely and generous thing to say.  Thank you!

I wrote this for a mixed audience of LGBTQ and cisgender people.  I hope it doesn't trigger anyone.




Thomas awoke the day after Christmas feeling a little groggy.

The night before, he and his wife got home after Thomas's late-night jump into the local icy river to save a drowning dog. After a quick ride home, Thomas ran to his bathroom, got out of his wet clothes, took a hot shower, and put on his favorite flannel pajamas. He then went down to the living room and started a fire in the fireplace.

The dog he saved shook his fur once again, curled up on the carpet in front of the fire, and went to sleep. Madeline, his wife, came in with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. They sat down on the sofa facing the fire as Thomas opened the first of two bottles of wine that they drank that night.

It had been a very tough Christmas Eve for both of them.

****************

A few hours earlier, Thomas had told his wife that two days ago doctors had confirmed the diagnosis by both his psychologist and his psychiatrist.

He was transgender.

Christmas Eve was not the best choice for sharing that information with Maddy. Predictably, his disclosure ignited an emotional explosion that led to additional explosions from each of them.

Thomas was as shocked by his admission as Maddy was. It was not his intent to tell her tonight or any other night.

His plan was to bottle it up, forever.

Something  triggered him and his attempts to hold back the truth failed...miserably.

His gender suppression was so deep that, for his entire life, he had thought he was a normal, cisgender male with a fascination with all things female. Now, this sudden diagnosis that he was a transgender female exploded his life. The professionals stated that he had been unknowingly suppressing his gender since birth.

When he was diagnosed, he truly thought he was strong enough to hold back his shocking discovery. Unfortunately, the months of emotional pressure grew inside him and increasing gender dysphoria proved him wrong.

Gender dysphoria is a condition that occurs when the repressed gender fights through all the layers of gender denial that are created by society's ignorance of the reality of gender versus physical genitalia coupled with a lifetime of the wrong hormones circulating through the person's body.

Essentially, gender dysphoria is an alarm bell that something is very wrong and can not be ignored. It is a medical condition that needs immediate attention.

By Christmas Eve, Thomas's gender dysphoria alarm bells were screaming.

Thomas was sitting by the fireplace staring at the flames. Inside his head, the roar of the alarm bells was emotionally deafening. Maddy walked in and saw the distress on Thomas's face.

In fear, she yelled at him, "Thomas what's wrong? Are you having a heart attack?" She repeated the question and shook his arm. Snapping out of his trance, he looked at Maddy with tears in his eyes and said:

"I am transgender. I think I need to transition to a woman."

Maddy's face reflected the impact of his news. It went from fear for him, to fear for them and then settled on fear for her. She sank to the floor in front of Thomas and just cried.

She was crying for everything they had just lost by his declaration that he wanted to transition.

How could they stay married?

What will her family say?

What will their friends say?

How can he think he is a woman?

Why now?

Her thoughts took a cruel and twisted journey in the mere seconds that she sat on the floor staring at Thomas. She even hated him for a brief moment.

Then she finally saw the look on his face and she stopped her mind from racing to the cliff.
Thomas was sobbing.

His face was a reflection of hers and worse. She saw the person she loved with a look of absolute devastation. She forgot her own pain and took him in her arms.

She whispered, "How absolutely horrible it must be for you."

They didn't talk for a few welcomed quiet moments.

Eventually, she sat in the chair facing Thomas and her own thoughts, fears, and concerns came back.

She challenged him and then she got angry. She attacked him with her fears.

Thomas had no defense. It was like pummeling a boxer who can't raise their boxing gloves any longer. Each time she jabbed, his heart and soul just registered the pain. He said nothing and just took the deep emotional beating he felt he deserved.

Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore, he stood up, took his coat and car keys and left the house. Maddy was too emotionally spent to stop him or even question him.

She just let him leave.

Her wounds were still open and too fresh to think of his needs. Her pain was too great.


She heard the car start and like awakening from a trance, ran to the front door screaming, "Where are you going?"

She recalled the absolute pain on his face. She also realized that they had had way to much to drink with dinner. As the heavy snow fell around her, she realized that Thomas was in danger.

She quickly threw on her heavy coat and ran across the street to their friend's house.

In response to her heavy bangs on the door, Mike, Thomas's best friend, answered the door with his wife, Anne, standing behind him.

Mike looked at Maddy's face, thinking Thomas was having a heart attack, and yelled, "Maddy what is the matter?"

"Thomas and I just had a huge fight and he took the car and drove away! I am afraid of what he might do."

Seeing the panic on Maddy's face, Ann threw a coat to Mike and then the car keys.

"Go find him, Mike!" she added.

Maddy jumped into the car with Mike and started the search.

This addition came at the request of some readers elsewhere of Better Than a Dog's Life: Transgender Homage to 'It's a Wonderful Life' to write a sequel. I liked the idea but thought a prequel made more sense to understand the story better. The next chapter will follow sequentially. I have no idea whether the story will expand from there but I did buy some more red wine...so God help you all.

This is very raw. And can only come from someone with first hand experience. Thank you for this, Emma. When you don't live alone, and your life is entwined with someone else's, it's like living two lives. For both people. I will admit I can't relate to this, and I think how you've described it here is largely why I can't relate to it, on a personal level. Too scared to get into that situation maybe. But I can understand and empathise with it very deeply. And put myself in the place of both people dealing with this.

Thank you. Please carry this on. I want to know how it turns out for Thomas.

Sephirah the story does have personal parallels and I drew from the experiences of others. 

I was concerned that the rawness would trigger others but I wrote it for a cisgender audience too. They have no clue what any of us go through.

The next part will be a lot more fun. I promise.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND EVERYONE HERE AT SUSANS!!!

Happy New Year, Emma!

Happy New Year Emma!


Chrissy

I didn't want to start the year with such a raw story, so I added the next chapter:



God, in Her infinite wisdom, put humans on Earth to work things out for themselves. She stepped away from the beginning and gave them "Free Will". 

Well,humans have shown a natural talent on how to make a mess of things.

Dolphins, elephants, ravens, chimpanzees, and even pigeons have done a better job sharing the world than humans. None of them invented wars, nuclear waste, plastics, or daytime game shows. They generally all get along unless someone gets hungry.

God generally just lets things chug along. If the humans make a mess, She expects them to clean it all up.

Strangely, regardless of how long it takes, they generally do.

But sometimes she likes to tinker, just a little bit. 

It makes Her feel better. It makes Her feel needed.

That's where I come in.

She created me to tweak moments in human lives and, hopefully, make a difference. I like the job but it takes infinite patience, at times, to make a human see common sense. They can have massively thick walls of just plain silliness that amaze me every time. 

I would love to just smack them on the back of the head to get them to see the truth in front of their faces but we have strict rules against acts of violence.

God doesn't send me down for some humans who have shown absolutely no chance of redemption. Even she recognizes that some are so happily and completely ignorant that they have made it a kind of art form molding their ignorance in different shapes and sizes. 

God likes to say that She created the irretrievably ignorant to create a baseline of intelligence to measure the rest of humanity against.

I think She has overdone the size of the ignorant baseline lately. The last time it got out of hand it created a global epidemic of witch trials.

My latest assignment brought me to earth to save a transgender spouse from suicide.

God told me: "Transgender humans were one of my better creations. The world needs more human unicorns. Off you go. Go save this one!"

I didn't know God was going to throw me into a raging, icy river as a dog.

She does have a funny sense of humor.

...to be continued

Emma

Writer's final note: Unfortunately, for you, this story is growing and I have plenty of red wine. I warned you about the red wine.

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this story.  Danielle and team have done a herculean job restoring what they could but I can't tell with the new system how many people are reading this blog.

This is the fourth and final chapter for It's a Dog Life.  I hope you all enjoy it.



Maddy had a tough time sleeping.

Thomas had passed out on the couch exhausted from saving the dog from the icy river an hour ago. They were both sleeping next to the fire in the fireplace. 

Their Christmas Eve had been completely bizarre and extremely painful.

Hours earlier he had run out of the house after they had the worst fight they had ever had. She had done most of the screaming and he just sat there taking it.

She briefly tried to comfort him because she saw the pain in his eyes but her own pain took over and she started screaming at him again. 

How do you process it all when your husband, the true love of your life tells you he is a transgender woman and is considering doing a sex change?

There is no rule book for this or even a "Transgender for Dummies" manual.

She went to the kitchen to make a cup of hot tea and she started talking to herself and her kitchen. 
"He made me so angry and hurt me at the same time." She said to the kettle as she filled it with water.

"I felt like I was drowning and there was no one to save me. The one person I could rely on was suddenly gone." She added to the stove as she lit the burner.

"In only a few words he took everything away from me: Our future, my future, our past, my past, our friends, our family, the love of my life..." She shared with the rest of the kitchen.

She felt like her head was exploding and spinning out of control at the same time.

"Oh stop that!!!" a commanding voice said. 

"What?" She answered without thinking.

The grumpy voice responded "I said stop making yourself crazy. It's giving me a headache!"

"Who said that?"

"I did."

Maddie looked around the room, once, twice, three times, and didn't see anyone.

"Where are you?" She yelled.

"Down here." The voice answered with exacerbation. 

Maddie looked down. All she saw was the dog Thomas had rescued earlier.

She looked around the room again and saw no one.

"I got the same reaction from Thomas. I guess you both stopped believing in talking dogs a long time ago, huh?" the dog sitting in front of her.

Maddy's mouth could not have opened wider. She thought she was dreaming or maybe sleepwalking.

"Oh close your mouth for goodness sake. You look silly." The dog scolded.

Maddy abruptly shut her mouth. She had a sudden flashback to when her grandmother would sternly correct her as a child.

The dog was talking to her! 

She needed to sit down. Maddy grabbed a chair at the kitchen table. The dog followed suit and hopped on a chair across from her.

The dog started talking right off.

"I never got the chance to properly introduce myself to Thomas. I was too busy saving him. My name is Henry by the way."

Maddie just stared at Henry.

"Stop staring Maddie, it's rude and it's getting annoying." Henry admonished.

Snapping out of her shock she started to think again. 

"But he saved you!" she corrected.

"Is that what he told you?" Henry said challengingly. 

"Yes, in the car. We didn't have time to really talk. You both were soaking wet and freezing from being in the river." Maddy added, "He said he saw you in the river and he jumped in to save you."

"Nonsense," Henry responded. "He was about to jump off the bridge to commit suicide over the silly argument you both had. Really, you both outdid yourselves with that one. You both were drowning way before Thomas even jumped into the river to 'save' me."

"How could you let it go so far? You love each other so very much." Henry said further, "You humans make it all so unnecessarily difficult."

"But he wants to be a woman!" Maddy said softly with sadness. 

"Did you marry a person or a thing?" Henry asked quietly feeling her mood change.

"I married a man."

"No you didn't. You married your soul mate. Do you know how rare that is? You both fell in love the day you met. Through all the difficult times you were unfailingly there for each other. You are best friends, not just lifelong spouses." Henry paused to let Maddy take it all in. 

"A body is just something you need to live your life. It is not your life."

"You have already proved that to yourselves every day! The proof is every time you make each other laugh or comfort each other or even yell at each other." 

"You share a warm caring love that is rare. I can tell you for a fact." Henry added firmly. 

Maddy sat quietly looking into her tea cup. She felt truth in her soul and she smiled at Henry from her heart.
 
Henry smile back, in a dog way, with his eyes. 

She got it. 

She was sitting quietly but in a good way. She felt the truth in Henry's words. She knew she will always want Henry in her life and that he will be there for her. 

They will work it all out, together. 

Henry nodded to himself with satisfaction. He had seen so much meanness between spouses doing his job, he could always recognize the difference. 

He knew that they would be OK. 

He hopped off the chair and sat in the middle of the kitchen floor. 

A light glowed down on Henry as Maddy stared with her mouth opened again. 

Henry shook out his fur once more and said to Maddy, "You and Thomas will work it all out. Your heart has already told you that. Love is one of the greatest gifts."

"Say good bye to Thomas for me. He saved both of you when he saved me."

"Now, for the last time Maddie, please close your mouth. It's not a good look for you." Henry said as he started to fade in the bright light. 

She heard him say to someone she couldn't see:

"Really a dog, in an icy river, in the middle of winter...?"

Maddy thought she heard a woman giggling as Henry disappeared. 

Maddy was left alone in the kitchen with her thoughts. 

She had a lot to think about. She took her cup of tea into the living room. Looking down at Thomas, she put a blanket over him and lightly brushed his hair off his face. 

She knew they were going to be OK. 

THE END

Emma Holiday

Writers note: This story had a happy ending. I wanted to enjoy writing it. I know that isn't always the case with transitioning for many of us. 
If you are in a relationship or married when you come out, it changes the relationship. The challenge is whether the relationship can adapt to such a radical change or not. There are so many possibilities. 
My hope is that we all can find the joy in our lives that we deserve, transgender and cisgender.

Quote from: Emma1017 on January 05, 2025, 10:23:15 AM"No you didn't. You married your soul mate. Do you know how rare that is? You both fell in love the day you met. Through all the difficult times you were unfailingly there for each other. You are best friends, not just lifelong spouses." Henry paused to let Maddy take it all in. 

"A body is just something you need to live your life. It is not your life."

Oh, Emma, this is wonderful.

It hit me right in the feels!

Great story and you did a great job telling it.

Thank you for sharing. 

Quote from: Emma1017 on January 05, 2025, 10:23:15 AM"You both were drowning way before Thomas even jumped into the river to 'save' me."

This single sentence sums it up. What a wonderfully poignant thing to say, Emma. And... I'll be honest, I hope you can find your Maddie beyond the resistance and status quo that you're having to go through. Because I think you both deserve it. I hope you get the happy ending that your characters get.

*massive hugs*

Thank you, Lori. When I write, I am massively critical. I worry that I am boring or that my writing isn't worth reading.
I enjoyed writing this and I am glad that you liked it.

Sephirah, I won't fully transition for my wife but we laugh every day and love each second we are together, so the compromise works for both of us.  She has been there for my orchiectomy, size 44D chest, facial eye surgery, electrolysis, and endless therapy.  I am there to provide her with a wall against judgment by family and friends.  We are a team and it works for us. 

"Henry" is a mixture of our love, all the friends here, and the allies I have met on this journey plus a little common sense and courage.

Live life with joy!

PS Really cool avatar Sephirah and yours always looks hot Lori!

Yeah... no one has the smile that can stop traffic, though.

Ahhhhh Sephirah that was really sweet. You actually choked me up. That was really so nice to say!!!!!!!

Quote from: Emma1017 on January 05, 2025, 06:29:41 PMAhhhhh Sephirah that was really sweet. You actually choked me up. That was really so nice to say!!!!!!!

Also... true. <3

Thank you.

 

Met with my friend Jenn today.  This photo is definitely not my best look.  I don't have a deep wardrobe. I look like a nun.

Quote from: Emma1017 on January 07, 2025, 06:01:46 PMMet with my friend Jenn today.  This photo is definitely not my best look.  I don't have a deep wardrobe. I look like a nun.

I don't think you look like a nun. More like that really cool school teacher that everyone loves. 

Lori thank you for your supporting words. I tend to be hyper self critical.