Thursday when we were shopping my mum was talking to someone and they said referring to me "she's lovely"

Quote from: davina61 on January 25, 2025, 02:24:44 PMThursday when we were shopping my mum was talking to someone and they said referring to me "she's lovely"

That truly does sound lovely.

It is nice to receive a compliment on your appearance.
While not fishing for one of course.

Chrissy

I feel very blessed that I am seen as the woman I am.

One of my best friends from work keeps telling me that I pass 100%, but I have a hard time believing it. But she may be on to something because I was at the doctor last week and the nurse asked me if I'd had a hysterectomy or is I was still in menopause. She saw that I was on estradiol and she thought I was on HRT for that.

Then when I went to file my application for my passport the clerk thought that I was her aunt when I walked in the door. So maybe I pass a lot more than I think I do.

By the way my best work friend told me that I need to quit telling people I'm a trans woman and just identify as a woman. She said I'm putting a target on my back when I proclaim that I'm trans. So that's what I've been trying to do.

Quote from: Lexxi on February 25, 2025, 10:26:40 PMBy the way my best work friend told me that I need to quit telling people I'm a trans woman and just identify as a woman. She said I'm putting a target on my back when I proclaim that I'm trans. So that's what I've been trying to do.

I think it's ok to share among friends. But safety first! Those who don't need to know don't need to know. (And you look great! Definitely a pass.)

Hi Everyone

I have been passing for 38 years, if you count the two Christmases '87 and '88, when Sarah first spread her wings.

I will not tell anyone about my medical history.  Even telling doctors or surgeons, I will think twice about doing so.

I do not tell anyone what my gender is and regardless of what they think about my gender, I don't care as there is nothing that I can do about it.  If they did approach me and ask, I would tell them I'm female.  However, this has, never happened.

Recently I suffered excruciating pain in my left chest as a result of coughing.  I ended up in hospital for a week.  About a week or so after I was discharged, the discharge papers were delivered to me by mail.  Reading through them, I noticed my gender was marked as female.  I never told them, even when they were initially assessing me in triage.

Even among new family members all they saw was a female until they were told about me.  How do I know?  I asked them when the subject came up.  "What did you see when you first met me?"  Their answer was always "female."  I then asked, "Are you serious?"  They confirmed, "Yes."

As for the children who grew up just knowing me and then finding out about me.  It made no difference to them.  Even in family conversations about me and my past, they use the correct pronouns.  It has been rare for them to even drop a clanger.  Even I have made a mistake a couple of times.

Which brings me back to the original question: "Do you pass or not?"  The simple answer is, "Yes."

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

Quote from: Lori Dee on February 25, 2025, 10:29:04 PMI think it's ok to share among friends. But safety first! Those who don't need to know don't need to know. (And you look great! Definitely a pass.)

That image is an AI one.....I assure you I don't look anywhere close to that good. I think that pic looks more like a teenage girl instead of the woman of my advanced age. hahahahaha

Quote from: Lexxi on February 26, 2025, 03:33:37 PMThat image is an AI one.....I assure you I don't look anywhere close to that good. I think that pic looks more like a teenage girl instead of the woman of my advanced age. hahahahaha

Lexxi,

I like your avatar regardless how it was generated!  It is likely very close to your real natural feminine appearance, just minor enhancements. 

Did not they use to call this minor enhancement "airbrushing photos" before AI?


Chrissy

It is nice to be as yourself.  I like being accepted as female, despite my voice not really sounding that way much of the time.  I work as female without issues and that is a success milestone.

It is wonderful dressing in a feminine way and looking okay considering what I started with before HRT.  I wish my voice was instantly heard as female and that I have gone beyond the male fail in anyone's eyes.

But I am grateful for what has been realized overall.  I still can female fail and sometimes realize that unfortunately but. . .   All well.  I am usually quite happy. 

The focus on others helps me squash the gender related disappointments that I do sometime experience.

Hugs,

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on February 26, 2025, 08:20:00 PMLexxi,

I like your avatar regardless how it was generated!  It is likely very close to your real natural feminine appearance, just minor enhancements. 

Did not they use to call this minor enhancement "airbrushing photos" before AI?


Chrissy

Well it's technically mostly my face, glasses, and way upgraded hair. But it knocked off about a hundred pounds and probably 30 years. But I can tell it's me and it makes me feel very good to have pics like that.

I'm also a tall and big boned person- so probably not passing realisitcally yet - although I think over time I'm developing more feminine mannerisms / movement and sometimes suprise myself, looking more like Mandy..

I will say it is so nice to look feminine and be treated as a woman.

Sometimes that does not happen and I get "clocked."  But that is part of the long journey.

Hugs,

Chrissy

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on March 22, 2025, 10:13:14 AMSometimes that does not happen and I get "clocked."  But that is part of the long journey.

How do you know you were "clocked"? Did somebody say something?

Never assume that you know what someone is thinking. Maybe they made a face because they just remembered what the bathroom was like in the Taco Bell they were just at.

Quote from: Lori Dee on March 22, 2025, 01:23:59 PMHow do you know you were "clocked"? Did somebody say something?

Never assume that you know what someone is thinking. Maybe they made a face because they just remembered what the bathroom was like in the Taco Bell they were just at.

This is kind of important.

If you're looking for something, you'll find it 100% of the time. It's called confirmation bias. You see things that aren't there because you want to see it. Because you have doubts about yourself. Through low self-worth, self-esteem, whatever. No one can be more self destructive to your own psyche than you can. Because that's how our brains are wired.

Yes conservatives will have confirmation bias.

Middle of the road people will have confirmation bias.

Progressives, liberals will have conformation bias.

I am convinced of this.

I am now looking for examples to confirm this.  hehe. LOL. Haha.

Clocking implies you are doing something nefarious.  I'm just being me.  I might not pass some days, but that's not my problem.

Quote from: D'Amalie on March 25, 2025, 11:24:18 AMI might not pass some days, but that's not my problem.

Exactly this.
 

Our friends always tend to be kind with us and confirm about our passing, but that's not a good test.
My state of mind is "non passing" i.e. I assume everyoune would identify me as a transgender woman.
As a matter of fact at the first impact I am usually addressed as a female by people who don't know me., but I think that a closer look my biology is noted.
But last year I had an interesting experience:  I joined a TaiChi course as Roberta, and only the instructor knew I was a transgender.  I was immediately introduced in the other women group and everithing was perfectly fine for a few months.  At the end of the year before summer break, we all went out for dinner and I came out telling about my story.  Well, the other women told me that at a certain poin in time they understood I was a transgender, but it didn't change theyr approach with me.
Well I have to say that I was really delighetd, maybe those words were even better than a perfect passing.  Indeed I understood that I was completely accepted as myself, Roberta, a trans woman, but still a woman among the other women.  I could not ask anything better.
Hughs
Roberta
PS:  just to let you figure out who I am, I'm 60,  not on HRT,  6ft tall and some 190 lbs, so... quite oversised compared to most bìo females. 
PPS: I just posted my  new avatar

Quote from: Roberta_Italy on March 25, 2025, 12:03:42 PMPPS: I just posted my  new avatar

Welcome back, Roberta!
Looking good, thanks for sharing.