Something happened. I looked up Wyatt Earp syndrome, and ended up being challenged by a chat-bot for some psychiatric group. During the process I kind of called my dad a brat, that would have a temper tantrum if he didn't get his way. He would complain about my school grades, I think also interfere with my getting better grades so that he would have something to complain about. The only thing I could figure was that someone was taking my homework out of my school books before school. When I went to hand in my homework, it would be missing. When I would get home, I would search all over, only to find my homework in my schoolbook. Nice touch, sneak the homework back in my schoolbook so I could be considered too lazy to hand my schoolwork in.
My dad went to the country school, the one room school house. According to him the teacher got lazy one year, when he was the only student in that grade. She tried to push him ahead one grade and he didn't handle it. She then dropped him back to take a grade over.
I think a short pool game was very telling. After he won, someone made a comment about letting him win. His response was that they better let him win if they know whats best for them. The question becomes, When does the self sabotage begin, so the sore looser doesn't loose. Here the sore looser has the power to ground you if you win.
On self sabotage where is the line drawn. Certainly my dad never had a trophy from the drag strips. On my many trips down the strip, I always missed 3rd gear, and never got a trophy.
At some point I ask myself if it has become some kind of habit. Like I can practice tossing horse shoes, and I can make all kinds of ringers. But when competing, I can't make any points.
Just a thought, when playing horse shoes, make sure the horse is not wearing them. Also now wondering where I might go to practice or play horse shoes. It looks like there are different pitching distances. 10 foot difference between the men's and the women's.
Not to forget the bully who couldn't stand the idea that his child had something he never had. First steal the roller skates, then make the claim that he won the skates instead of his child, and then also tell his buddies how he skated up and down the sidewalk in front of his house. They would never guess that he had never been on a pair of roller skates in his life.
Did I mention the Wyatt Earp wannabe. I think about the same time there were war tv series. My dad could bring out the display box with the military ribbons and tell about the ribbons. While his buddies(his brother-in-laws) were amazed, none of them had any idea he was too young to enlist during WW2. During the 1960s you could pickup almost anything at a gun-show. Again, My mother's brother was in the war. Maybe my dad couldn't stand the idea someone did what he couldn't do. That must have really hurt him that his own son entered the military and went to Germany. My DD214 shows 6 months overseas duty (1971). I guess that entitles me to have a bar on my lower sleeve.
Ever hear of a PX solder. I heard of one who had Sargent stripes and Major bars. He claimed to be a Sargent Major.
Any way, after I got done with the chat bot, I went on my 40 mile trip, which was really 80 miles figuring both directions. But something was different. I seemed more relaxed in the store. I had also done some writing in an abuse forum. I don't know if I'm letting go of some anger, or just putting the blame where it belongs. It is not my fault my sister died of pneumonia, My acting like a girl has nothing to do with her death.
Michelle
