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Bad jokes and puns

Started by davina61, January 10, 2024, 04:21:02 AM

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ChrissyRyan

#140
January 31, 2025, 05:14:18 PM
The buffalo dad dropped off his son at school and said, "Bi, Son".
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

ChrissyRyan

#141
February 02, 2025, 08:34:54 PM
What did the plate say to his friend?

Tonight, dinner is on me!

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

#142
February 02, 2025, 08:35:30 PM
What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An Investigator.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#143
February 02, 2025, 08:37:38 PM
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

They relish them.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
  •  

ChrissyRyan

#144
February 02, 2025, 08:48:41 PM
Why did the computer sneeze?

It had a virus.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
  •  

ChrissyRyan

#145
February 02, 2025, 08:50:33 PM
When the computer was tired it went into sleep mode.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
  •  

ChrissyRyan

#146
February 02, 2025, 08:55:18 PM
What are laptops favorite snack?

Computer chips.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#147
February 17, 2025, 08:16:46 AM
When there is a sale on pantyhose, there is often a run on them.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

#148
March 02, 2025, 08:33:49 AM
Someone wanted to give me a guitar, banjo, and a ukulele, my choice.
Feeling a bit uneasy about the situation, I said "thank you" and declined.

I did not accept because I thought there were some strings attached.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

davina61

#149
March 02, 2025, 09:29:21 AM
Did you hear about the theatre ghost that that got booed of stage?
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee, MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#150
March 02, 2025, 10:50:17 AM
Quote from: davina61 on March 02, 2025, 09:29:21 AMDid you hear about the theatre ghost that that got booed of stage?

That must have been out of sight!

An out of this world experience!

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#151
March 04, 2025, 06:15:59 PM
Link to another topic posted by someone else for a silly SNL skit about "transgender bathroom rights." 
It is in the humor area and is a bit silly but you might find it to be okay if you remember it is "humor."


https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,199227.0.html
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

ChrissyRyan

#152
March 05, 2025, 07:33:22 AM
Do carburetors rev you up?







@Davina
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

MaryT

#153
March 05, 2025, 07:35:22 AM
For fans of olde jokes AND olde movies.  This one was popular in my high school more than half a decade ago.

Q: What do you call a man with a tree on his head?
A: Ed Wood.

Q: What do you call a man with two trees on his head?
A: Edward Wood.

Q: What do you call a man with three trees on his head?
A: Edward Woodward.



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ChrissyRyan

#154
March 05, 2025, 07:40:40 AM
Quote from: MaryT on March 05, 2025, 07:35:22 AMFor fans of olde jokes AND olde movies.  This one was popular in my high school more than half a decade ago.

Q: What do you call a man with a tree on his head?
A: Ed Wood.

Q: What do you call a man with two trees on his head?
A: Edward Wood.

Q: What do you call a man with three trees on his head?
A: Edward Woodward.





In all cases, his head must have hurt.  Carrying a heavy load.  Lots of wood.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

davina61

#155
March 06, 2025, 03:20:13 AM
A pony walks into a bar and said very quietly can I have a brandy, sorry said the barman I cant hear what you said and the pony answered that because I am a little hoarse.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee, MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#156
March 08, 2025, 09:35:07 AM
Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#157
March 08, 2025, 09:36:31 AM
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?


A pouch potato.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#158
March 08, 2025, 09:37:11 AM
What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed veggie.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

ChrissyRyan

#159
March 08, 2025, 09:37:42 AM
What did one toilet say to another?


You look flushed.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT
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