Quote from: Michelle_K on February 26, 2025, 10:12:33 AMI was watching a video and the subject of teens getting double mastectomies came up. There was no mention of how many were cis gendered boys that had gynecomastia. And on that theme, I sure that the growth of breasts on a cis gendered boy would cause a lot of gender dysphoria for that boy.

Yeah, it was a really dark time for me shortly after puberty, a period of confusion, embarrassment, and mixed emotions.

QuotePossibly the boy would get a prescription for testosterone to correct the hormone imbalance that caused the breasts to grow.

Exactly this! My father thought it was an excellent idea and instructed my mother to change my diet, blaming her for my breast growth due to the food she was feeding me. I don't know what my parents reaction will be when I go to visit them later this year and tell about my transition. I think my mom will be okay, but not to sure about my father.

QuoteThere you have it, a male child getting a double mastectomy, and a prescription for testosterone. And the transphobic don't mention the fact that it is a male child.

No, that biology is flawed they say.

Testosterone is not the treatment for gynecomastia. Since the cause is estrogen, the treatment is estrogen blockers. Adding testosterone would only complicate the issue since testosterone can be converted to estrogen.

Usually, gynecomastia resolves itself with estrogen blockers. Only if that fails is surgery a recommendation.


Gynecomastia often goes away over time without treatment. But if gynecomastia is caused by a medical condition, that condition may need treatment.

If you take medicine that may be the cause of gynecomastia, ask your health care team about your choices. Your doctor may have you stop the medicine or try a different one.

Often, no treatment is needed for teenagers who have gynecomastia due to natural hormone changes during puberty. A teen's health care team may recommend checkups every 3 to 6 months to see if the condition is getting better on its own. Gynecomastia in teens often goes away without treatment in less than two years.

Treatment may be needed if gynecomastia doesn't get better on its own. Treatment also can help if the condition causes pain, tenderness or embarrassment.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gynecomastia/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20351799

I think it still applies. Not saying that of the teens receiving estrogen blockers, this many are boys.
I think I was looking at a 50 year old magazine.

I think I had also saw the post and reacted badly. The case when I was growing up, I was always in the wrong so I was not asked. I was thinking of having a temper tantrum, but it would not do any good if there were no witnesses. If there are no witnesses then it is not a temper tantrum, it is a autistic melt down.

I think it was back in the 1990s that I wanted to have some testing done, to help explain why I became feminized. The medical doctor told me to save my money because it never happens. Was I to believe the doctor, males don't grow breasts, that the whole thing is a delusion on my part.

I am thinking maybe I should have gotten a mammogram, then the endocrinologist would have seen the results of the mammogram, and realized I already have estrogen in my body. Maybe that was my mistake, thinking that my hormones levels should be checked first. Rather than the doctor assuming I am a normal male and I need testosterone blockers and estrogen. I tried to tell her that I suspected that I had Klinefelter syndrome, and was told that I did not have it because my medical records did not say I did.

At the same time (back in the 1990s) I was seeing a therapist and one day another person was there, and she told me that I was not transsexual and that I enjoyed being a male. I think I kept getting passed from one therapist to another.
Michelle

The other day while walking to the post office, I was thinking that just walking slower, I would avoid having to stop to catch my breath. With that thought, I was wondering if I would even get ten feet on the roller skates.
I think I have the issue with my tongue sorted out. I just figured that pushing my tongue forward between my teeth should open up the airway so I can breath through my nose better. On my walk to the Dollar General Store I realized I was breathing through my nose the whole way. Then I realized I now automatically push my tongue between my teeth.
I still cough stuff up, and I now realize that is why I had a tin can in my car 30 years ago. It just seemed so normal back then. But since it was my whole lifetime, I did not know that it was not normal.

A long time ago I heard one girl calling another girl a pirate's treasure.  It was revealed that a pirate's treasure is a sunken chest. Pectus, as in chest muscles, and excavatum as in hole. I guess that deformity also affects my air volume.

I finally have an appointment just to deal with the asthma. I'll work on the other stuff later.
Michelle

What an odd thought. Did I actually tell my mother that I wanted to be a girl? and her response was "No, you Don't. You just think you want to be a girl."
What brought that on I wonder? Was I treated as a girl until a second sister was born(this one did not die.) And then suddenly it is, "you're supposed to be a boy so act like it."
Michelle

Checking an eBay shipment, tracking showed it was at the post office. When I checked my email it showed the package was delivered. Going back and checking again, the tracking now showed it was in one of the lock boxes at the post office. I walked to the post office and the key to the lock box was in my post office box.
I now have knee pads, elbow pads, and wrist guards. Hopefully they are all the proper size. I already had a skateboard helmet in pink, but I am tempted to get on with leopard print. The other Item I have had for over a year, and that is padded bicycle shorts.

First some videos on how to wear the safety equipment. Somebody, maybe some other forum, suggested Kung-Fu lessons to learn how to fall. Strange that I have to learn the proper way to fall. Plus I need to do balancing exercises, standing on one leg, and tip toe walking.

Probably wouldn't need to do tip toe walking if I wore high heel shoes.



Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on March 01, 2025, 06:22:45 PMProbably wouldn't need to do tip toe walking if I wore high heel shoes.

Congrats for the protective gear!

And, those boots are stunning! 😍

Thinking that the idea, "never admit you're wrong, it is a sign of weakness" may have come from my narcissist father. 
Another thing was the narcissist need to brag about something. The preteen child wins a pair of clamp on roller skates in a raffle. The roller skates disappear, but since nobody took them, she never had the skates. While her dad has friends over, she wanders into the man cave, where her dad is explaining to the buddies how, as a child, he won the skates in a raffle and skated up and down the sidewalk in front of his house. After he dies, her brother wants his dad's skates as a memento.  The truth was that the dad never had skates as a child. The skates and the memories were stolen from the child.

Sorry, I felt the need to disconnect.
Michelle

The idea was back in 2023, I would repair my gothic witch costume, and I would wear it to the post office for Halloween. These high heeled lace up boots were bought special to be worn with the gothic witch costume. I had set that goal to be my first time walking through town wearing a dress.
Unfortunately, I had broken both wrists in July and was unable to repair my dress. I considered breaking my wrists as a kick in the rear to get me motivated, and by August, I had worn a skirt to a corn carnival. I had that leather skirt for over 20 years, and this was the first time that I wore it outside the house. I even wore it on one of my walks to the post office prior to Halloween, so my goal had been considered met.

The shoes had been set aside until now, and I am finally wearing them. So far I have only gone to the kitchen and back, but it is not my first time wearing high heels. I have an older pair that I bought over 20 years ago from Fredrick's of Hollywood. They have the stiletto heels. I wore the gothic witch costume about 20 years ago to a Halloween party upstairs in our barn. 



Michelle

I'm not the narcissist, I'm the scapegoat. I'm also autistic. I am very confused, If I was born a boy then why do I look like a girl? And being autistic, I was a slow developer, meaning delayed development. For some reason my mother chose to put girl clothes on me. There could be all kinds of reasons. One being to punish a boy, make him wear dresses. And one thing the boy can't do is avoid being punished for being born a boy. Since I was the first born, I wonder where the dresses come from. Were they hand-me-downs from a girl cousin? If so, why would they be given to my mother to put on me? Did my aunts actually think I was a girl?

I think there was a scene in the movie "Robots" where he had to wear the hand-me-down top from a girl cousin.
Michelle

I'm learning about narcissism and the scapegoat. Something that really does not make any sense if you really look at it. Such as after driving 200 miles the lug nuts on one wheel decide to loosen up. Of course it is my fault for not making sure they were tight before we started our trip. We manage to temporally repair the problem and then get to town where we can get the lug bolts and do the repairs in the parking lot.

Being the scapegoat, I develop what is called imposter syndrome. It is the result of constantly being told that I do not deserve to be loved, I do not deserve to sleep under the same roof as my sisters, I do not deserve whatever.

As a narcissist he can not admit that someone saved his life. That would mean that person owned him, he owed his life to him. On the other hand he had no trouble reminding me that I owed him my live, because of him I had been born. I think I am finally putting it proper. I was intentionally kept home, so that I would not get perfect school attendance. Intentionally kept home from church, so I did not get the proper attendance while attending the Lutheran school.

I'm sure I can now say the deal with the fence around the corn crib was intentional to prevent me from getting the recognition and trophy from the seed corn company.

The imposter syndrome is from the way I was treated and has nothing to do with me being transgender. The effects of the imposter syndrome is the same no matter whether I enter the men's or the women's rest room.
Michelle

I can say I went no contact with my dad when he died back in 1979

I decided that since I have them, I might as well wear them. It was a bit difficult getting the photo. This is the third day wearing them, and I am balancing a lot better. The way they are made, there is no ankle movement.



Michelle

That was interesting, my legs were very itchy. When I investigated the itchiness, I discovered it was right where the silicone band on the stay up thigh high socks was. At the moment I have the top folded over so the silicone is not against my skin. It also explains the chest irritation, as somehow my silicone bra inserts ended up with holes where they go against my skin. I covered the holes with electrical tape.

The bottom line is it appears that I may have a silicone allergy, and it is causing some lung problems. If this is the case it means that I might not be able to have any silicone breast implants.

Just checked and it looks like medicare considers it to be cosmetic and therefore is not covered. I wonder if I could get a prescription for breast prosthetics.
Michelle

A long time ago I was at my grandma's house. We were silently playing, and suddenly my sister says "Don't say that stuff." My grandma just happened to be looking out the window, and heard my sister. I got called into the house, and I got my mouth washed out with soap. I was not to use that kind of language, or I would get my mouth washed out again. Being a christian woman she can't tell me what the words are, but make no mistake, if she hears me say those words, the bar of soap is ready.

Well, I have somewhat of an idea the words pertain to human body parts. I got totally messed up, To make sure I did not say any of the bad words, all words that identified human body parts were banned from my vocabulary.
Both of my parents would use the bad language all the time. So I got no clue which words were bad. And It would appear that I was the only one not allowed to say those words. I have since gotten better, and I am able to state if the connector on the hydraulic hose is gendered male or female. I still have some trouble with the rubber thing on top of a baby bottle. Part of it may be not knowing what may be censored. Now that I think about it, in the early years of the internet, America Online censored a lot of words. Because of the censorship, one group had to be called boob cancer survivors.

Right, it was censorship at home, if I used the censored words then I got punished.
Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on March 05, 2025, 09:46:36 PMRight, it was censorship at home, if I used the censored words then I got punished.

My father use to tell us how lucky we were he didn't use the bar of soap like his parents. Scary days for sure!

Fortunately, we just get a <bleeped> on this board and in other places in the internet, and not a bar of soap in our mouths. 😂

Quote from: Michelle_K on March 04, 2025, 08:50:54 PMI decided that since I have them, I might as well wear them. It was a bit difficult getting the photo. This is the third day wearing them, and I am balancing a lot better. The way they are made, there is no ankle movement.



Michelle

Nice shot! They look great on you. 👌

Sorry, about the itching, maybe a dermatologist can help to suggest something that can help get rid of it.

I've been watching videos about narcissists, and I know now that my dad was one. In telling this stuff to the therapist, the connection was missed. His actions were not the typical actions of a narcissist.

Trying to figure out how to put it. He was not the type to demand money, in fact I had an allowance for a while. But then steal coins out of a jewelry box to put in his coin collection.
I think I had once said it, or at least thought it, he had such low self esteem that he had to tear others down to build himself up. That meant Someone had to be the butt of the joke, that joke being that I should dress as a woman just like the guy in the movie.I think the guy's name was Tom Peeping.
Other were slurs on the names, Gladys became happy butt, Louie became ...

Of course, I had no right to complain because others were worse off than me. My dad told me that my cousin would work and since he was a minor, his dad took all his money. That reminds me, I never got paid for the work I did for the other farmers, either I worked for free or my dad pocketed the money. I would totally forget to ask about pay.

Then there are the bragging rights, where my dad tells his buddies that he won my roller skates. His buddies have told me that they had never met a more honest person. That branding iron with his initials that he found on a hunting trip out west, he found it at a blacksmith shop after the blacksmith made it for him.
Michelle

On the thigh high stocking package it states that it has a silicone gripper strip. Doing research I found there are different grades of silicone. On the breast form, even though the outer plastic was torn, the contact did not turn my skin red or itch like the band on my socks did.

I am going to do some experiments, I already wore the socks inside out so the silicone band was not against my skin. Now I am going to have moisturizing cream on one leg and see what the contact of the silicone band does. Actually it is a different brand so I don't know if this brand irritates my skin.
Michelle

My annual lung cancer screening is coming due soon. Since it was done by the local hospital last year, that is the only previous screening available. The screening also showed some kidney damage, but my provider said that since it was on the outside of the kidney it could be ignored.
If I have the scan done at the local hospital again, then they can compare the scans and see any changes. But will the VA have access to the scans.
If I have the scan done at the VA then that provider can see the lung damage, and then I can get my diagnosis of asthma, or at this stage COPD. I would like to have some other test done, as it seems everything got worse during 2019.

One other thought had occurred to me, that being to get a scan done at both locations, sort of like a second opinion.
Michelle

The website for the Breyer horses states that they are 1/9 scale. That is a ways from the 1/6 scale of the Barbies.

I have a horse drawn log sled close to the Breyer scale. It had been moved around a lot and screws have come loose, nuts had been lost, pretty much it has fallen apart. I have decided to rebuild it. According to the tracking, the 2 mm bolts and nuts are now waiting for me at the post office.
A long time ago I cut some 1/6 scale 2x4s and other sizes on my table saw, so I should be able to find the proper sized wood parts, if I can remember where I put them.

Once the 1/9 scale sled is repaired, then I can measure the parts and convert the measurements to 1/6 scale and build a Barbie size sled. I can do the same thing with the covered wagon I have.
Michelle