Quote from: Annaliese on Yesterday at 10:33:23 AMI am so sorry to hear this. 😢

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 10:35:34 AMIt's alright. She was ready, even if I didn't want her to be. Right now I'm just focusing on keeping it together for my daughter

Quote from: Annaliese on Yesterday at 10:40:00 AMThat's  the important thing. I never dealt with grief as a male too good. I would just go through typical motions. I never really grieved. I just kinda chalked things up to well this is life, time to move on. Sometimes it was easier for me to deal with my emotions alot easier if I just put them aside. I would pivot away from the situation and just think that hey this is just life and look forward. It was cold but thats how I dealt with alot of stuff.

I don't know if this is a good example,  🤔  It never got me anywhere good. Bottling emotions up was never a thing.
 I could never share my emotions.

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 10:45:15 AMThat's how I'm handling this and I'm being told by everyone that I should grieve. What the ->-bleeped-<- am I supposed to say "my girlfriend killed herself and left me and her kid behind and it hurts like hell but I have to keep my ->-bleeped-<- together and act like everything is fine when I'm just done." I don't know what to do anymore

Quote from: Annaliese on Yesterday at 10:54:50 AMthe important thing is you have to think of your daughter. Id recommend try to get in touch with a therapist to help you get through this. It may be a difficult time but, it's times like this that make you who you are. One thing I did do as a male was to be strong for my children even when I was not in the best frame of mind. I am not sure of your situation but I do know when you have this much going on in you life it adds so much stress and can be very difficult to handle. Sometimes reaching out to therapist to guide you can make the world of difference.  I know it's not in our nature but it's  times like this that we have to try.

You mentioned in an earlier post something about your mom. Are close to your mom. Is she in the picture?

Quote from: tgirlamg on Yesterday at 11:36:34 AMAdrian!

I am so very sorry... When there is a loss of this magnitude, it can feel so overwhelming and hard to put into any kind of perspective... Let yourself feel what you feel...it can be a meatgrinder to go through but, be aware... The main thing required is time and space... Time will let the process of grief work itself out... Life will find equilibrium once again and you will emerge with new skills, better able to help others deal with their own grief in the future... Let those who you care about know what your feeling... Let them hear and help you... Be gentle with yourself in the days to come and know you have a family here that wants all the best for you!

Onward We Go...Even On The Hard Days

Hugs and Lotsa Love,

Ashley 💕

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 11:54:58 AMMy mom is in the picture, but we don't necessarily get along.

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 11:57:52 AMI just feel...numb. Like it hurts like hell, but it is what it is. There ain't no changing what happened and there ain't no use in crying about it.

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 10:28:38 AMI don't know how to grieve her and begin healing.

Quote from: TanyaG on Yesterday at 02:57:14 PMGrieving is a process that we live through in states and to begin with a lot of people feel the way you do now, which from the sound of it is numb. That's natural, all animals go through this stage when they're hurt, but the emotions will come. It really is best, both for yourself and your memories of your partner to live the emotions because the alternative, suppressing them, makes it impossible to make sense of your loss and weave it into the narrative of your life. Grief can be shared and that helps the people you share it with, as well as giving them permission to help you. Lots of hugs.

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 03:11:32 PMIts just so hard to wrap my head around it.

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 10:45:15 AMWhat the ->-bleeped-<- am I supposed to say "my girlfriend killed herself and left me and her kid behind and it hurts like hell but I have to keep my ->-bleeped-<- together and act like everything is fine when I'm just done." I don't know what to do anymore

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 11:57:52 AMI just feel...numb. Like it hurts like hell, but it is what it is. There ain't no changing what happened and there ain't no use in crying about it.

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on Yesterday at 03:23:20 PMI'm not certain anyone's head can wrap around the grief you're feeling, Adrian. Mine never could in my moments of utter despair and overwhelming loss. I found some comfort in Emily's Dickinson's poem: My life closed twice before its close...ending with, 'Parting is all we know of heaven, And all we need of hell.' You won't be in hell forever, but I know how small a comfort that is when you're just trying to get through today. Through the moment you're in. Today will pass, whether you get your head wrapped around it or not. Let it be.

Quote from: Lilis on Yesterday at 03:23:46 PMHey Adrian,

I'm so sorry for your loss. What you're going through is heartbreaking.

It's okay to not be okay right now.

There's no "right" way to grieve, and like others have said, you don't have to go through it all alone.

When you feel ready, talking to a grief counselor might help lighten the weight, not to fix anything, but so you don't have to carry it all by yourself.

Be gentle with yourself.

You're doing the best you can.

With care,


~ Lilis 💗

Quote from: Adrian26 on Yesterday at 04:04:30 PMI don't know if there's any grief counselors around here.