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At what age did you know this?

Started by CosmicJoke, May 08, 2025, 10:12:42 AM

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CosmicJoke

Hi everyone. In my case I could recall being about 4 or 5 and knowing I was in the "wrong body." That was just the secret I kept until my parents had me in therapy at 13 years old. My therapist brought this out of me.

I think that I'm just the typical case but at what age did you know this secret about yourself?

KathyLauren

That is a harder question to answer than it seems. 

At what age did I know for sure?  61.
At what age did I start to wonder?  Some time in my 40s, I suppose.  I talked myself out of it.  Nope.  Couldn't be.  No way.
At what age did feel something that, in hindsight, I could identify as dysphoria?  17.
At what age did I have thoughts that, in hindsight, can be identified as trans?  7.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate

Alana Ashleigh

I would say 14. I knew I never felt like any of the other teenagers I went to school with. I always felt different. I kept this feeling to myself. I never told anybody, not even my VERY accepting girlfriend. I kept my feminine side suppressed until summer 2020. I have my HRT appointment tomorrow.  :D
Feminine journey started summer May 2020
GD diagnosed July 2024
Social transitioning 2024-present
Started HRT, & my womanhood 5-12-25
I love femininity ✨ 🎀 👠 💄

Jessica 33

I have known since 7/8.. I used to watch shows like Dallas and Dynasty and think I want be her.I used to dream I was Sue Ellen  :)
A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step

Sephirah

Quote from: KathyLauren on May 08, 2025, 10:47:31 AMThat is a harder question to answer than it seems. 

At what age did I know for sure?  61.
At what age did I start to wonder?  Some time in my 40s, I suppose.  I talked myself out of it.  Nope.  Couldn't be.  No way.
At what age did feel something that, in hindsight, I could identify as dysphoria?  17.
At what age did I have thoughts that, in hindsight, can be identified as trans?  7.


This is similar for me. In my case knowing wasn't the same as feeling. I knew in my early 20s. But I felt since I could feel.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Sinclair

Quote from: Alana1990 on May 08, 2025, 12:26:13 PMI would say 14. I knew I never felt like any of the other teenagers I went to school with. I always felt different. I kept this feeling to myself. I never told anybody, not even my VERY accepting girlfriend. I kept my feminine side suppressed until summer 2020. I have my HRT appointment tomorrow.  :D

Awesome! Please let us know how the appt goes. Hormone changes can be very exciting ... I know for me I was so eager to check the mirror every morning. Best wishes sweetie!
I love dresses!!

Annaliese

Quote from: Alana1990 on May 08, 2025, 12:26:13 PMI would say 14. I knew I never felt like any of the other teenagers I went to school with. I always felt different. I kept this feeling to myself. I never told anybody, not even my VERY accepting girlfriend. I kept my feminine side suppressed until summer 2020. I have my HRT appointment tomorrow.  :D
This is a special time in your journey Alana. ✨️ I know for me and I'm sure for all of us this day was very affirming. I savor every moment I apply my patches.  I will never forget the day I started HRT. It was like the start of something that was going to begin to help define myself more than just in my mind. I hope all goes well for you today.
Always  look forward, there's no ⏳ to look  🔙. You are the person you were always meant to be.
Remember: if you focus too much on the destination,  you'll miss all the amazing stuff in-between.

Pema

Quote from: KathyLauren on May 08, 2025, 10:47:31 AMThat is a harder question to answer than it seems. 

At what age did I know for sure?  61.
At what age did I start to wonder?  Some time in my 40s, I suppose.  I talked myself out of it.  Nope.  Couldn't be.  No way.
At what age did feel something that, in hindsight, I could identify as dysphoria?  17.
At what age did I have thoughts that, in hindsight, can be identified as trans?  7.


This is surprisingly accurate for me, too.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tills

My earliest memory is pulling on my sister's underwear and feeling good, knowing it was right. I was 3.

MaryXYX

From early life I knew I "didn't fit" but I didn't know why.  I didn't have any concept of transgender back then and couldn't be something that didn't exist in my understanding.  I was 62 when it became clear who I really am and started hormones.  About another year before I got to a Gender Clinic and 'officially' started hormones.

she she

Quote from: CosmicJoke on May 08, 2025, 10:12:42 AMHi everyone. In my case I could recall being about 4 or 5 and knowing I was in the "wrong body." That was just the secret I kept until my parents had me in therapy at 13 years old. My therapist brought this out of me.

I think that I'm just the typical case but at what age did you know this secret about yourself?

When I was 5 or 6 I liked to play with things by wrapping myself in plastic wrap and tying myself up.   I would tell my mother that I wanted in the bedroom to do '' funny things to myself''     Parents took me to a psychologist about 3 or 4 times and I got smart and stop having fun.  Then around 10 or before I would sneak around with my mothers clothes and try them on and I was very attracted to that stuff for unknown reason back then, that was about 60 years ago.   From there on out I was hooked on any thing fem I could get my hands on and the experience always made me feel at peace with myself and still does.   

I have always been different in my head and now here I'm at, caught in this web and unable to escape.   It is a terrible burden to carry every day 24/7 365 and yes I'am very tired of this and some day I will be free of this misery.

Allie Jayne

We seem to become aware of different sexes around the age of 3 or 4, and this was when I began dreaming every night that I was a girl, and being disappointed every morning I woke up as a boy. At 4 I told my mother I was really a girl, and she told me I was being silly, so I just kept dreaming.

Years later, after I had tried in vain to stop those dreams, I realised that part of me was different, and beyond anything I could do. The language is Gender Incongruent nowadays, but I just knew I was different in the '60's. I learned that my distractions and frustrations could be lessened by doing something which made me feel more feminine, but I really just wanted to be 'normal'.

Hugs,

Allie

Anne_lifetrip

Hello everyone,
I knew it since I can remember, so I'll go for 5-6.
At this age it was very clear, because coming from a conservative family and being taught to pray an that god was almighty I cried myself to sleep for over a year praying to wake up as a girl, promising to be a good girl, a good daughter a good person...surprisingly nothing happened.
Ever since I knew I had it in me, I would like to be amongst girls for being one more, loved to be neutral o more girly like whenever possible..but in all truths, I was afraid to fully recognise myself because I was really happy when I was female self...too happy.
So, time passed and life taught me that you have to be who you are...and there I accepted myself (around 22), when I was economically independent.
And in recent years, (now in my 40s) I have taken my determination to continue becoming myself, bit by bit, day by day, taking one small step at a time.

Love Anne

Bobbisocksgrl70

I wondered at the age of 6-7 why I could not wear pretty dresses like the little girl next door. I am now 73. It's been a frustrating road to travel. I cannot pass due to my height so I have decided publicly live as male with a female body and enjoy the blessing on my femininity at home, its the best I can do.

Lori Dee

Quote from: Bobbisocksgrl70 on May 16, 2025, 07:39:52 PMI cannot pass due to my height

What does height have to do with passing?

Jane Lynch
Height: 6′ 0″

Allison Janney
Height: 6′ 0″

Gwendoline Christie
Height: 6′ 3″

Leslie Jones
Height: 6′ 0″

Aisha Tyler
Height: 6′ 0″

Brigitte Nielsen
Height: 6′ 1″

Brooke Shields
Height: 6′ 0″

Elizabeth Debicki
Height: 6′ 2″

Ava Michelle
Height: 6′ 2″

Geena Davis
Height: 6′ 0"

Jourdan Dunn
Height: 6′ 0″

Kimora Lee Simmons
Height: 6′ 0″

Lisa Leslie
Height: 6′ 5″

Uma Thurman
Height: 5′ 11″

Ireland Baldwin
Height: 6′ 2″

Judy Gold
Height: 6′ 2″

Karlie Kloss
Height: 6′ 2″

Kristen Johnston
Height: 6′ 0″

Venus Williams
Height: 6′ 1″

Caitlyn Jenner
Height: 6′ 2″

Dot-Marie Jones
Height: 6′ 3″

Elle Macpherson
Height: 6′ 0″

Famke Janssen
Height: 6′ 0″

Lindsay Kay Hayward
Height: 6′ 8″

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours."
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete
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AdrianeAlready

Might be late to the party but thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.

I agree with KathyLauren and this seems to be the case for those of us that are older.

At what age did I know for sure?  46.
At what age did I start to wonder?  For me I'd say in my late thirties. While I very much liked the idea of being able to experience being female it wasn't something I would admit to wanting for more than 24 hours and besides, it wasn't actually possible... right? Right? (for clarification this was me trying to convince myself)
At what age did I feel something that, in hindsight, I could identify as dysphoria?  22.
At what age did I have thoughts that, in hindsight, can be identified as trans?  13.

Congrats Alana! I hope things went well and I'm kind of jealous. For various reasons I don't see myself being able to take that step for a few years but I'm glad others can.

~Adriane

D'Amalie

Philosophically, at what age were we so easily persuaded of our own inadequacy? Who was setting the agenda? 

I find it difficult to establish hard fast rules about when this or that became a surety.  When something becomes apparent or identifiable is no indicator of for, "How long has this been coming on."  The human condition is always shades of existence influenced by survival requirements.  We are complex creatures of chemistry (nature) affected by our experiences (nurture).

It's so fascinating to see folks come to grips with their own interpretation of self awareness!  Who knows at 3 or 4 years of age a gender specificity?  I submit, none of us do.  Today's identification of the prepubescent trans population gives us a better idea of "when."  We older folks weren't allowed to even consider or weren't offered the option of determining our gender in the 50's, 60's, 70's.  I for one certainly wouldn't have said anything for fear of severe familial and societal repercussions. 

Look at it this way.  As a youngster, I just "knew" what I liked or disliked and felt fear & sadness or satisfaction & safety.  We humans, unless psychopathic, tend toward adjusting to circumstances presented by individual life experiences. That means, fitting in to expectations of parents, playmates, acquaintances, societal contacts, etc. Fitting in eases survival stress. Its in our evolutionary development.  Then later, we privately start to decide just how we think fitting in will be successful and what are we strong enough or secure enough to present.  A sympathetic sibling or parent can certainly provide comfort, but how many of us had that growing up? 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is simplistic, but provides the framework to interpret the higher functioning that allows us to timeline "At what age did we know..." but its artificial and adds no value to how I feel now.  We like to place boundaries and provide definition, it helps us ease into every day pursuit of happiness.
One shouldn't open the book of another's life and jump in the middle.  I am a woman, I'm a mystery.  I still see and hear who I used to be, who I am, who I'm gonna be. - Richelle
"Where you'd learn do to that, miss?" "Just do it, that's all; ... I got natural talent." "I'll say you do, at that." - Firefly

Mandy Spencer

12, maybe 13 for me. I didn't know what it was, but it sure happened..
'Peace and Love'
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D'Amalie

Quote from: Mandy Spencer on May 21, 2025, 01:08:25 PM12, maybe 13 for me. I didn't know what it was, but it sure happened.
Agreed, that by 8 or 9 I had surety that I wasn't like other boys, and preferred to associate with girls, which my stepmother misread entirely.  She thought it was sexual, but it really wasn't.  All that did was augment my fear of an adult bully.  I didn't know the words to use except I felt better wearing girls clothes, playing with Sis's toys.  Avoiding boys.  By 11 even more so, and moving deeper into the closet.
One shouldn't open the book of another's life and jump in the middle.  I am a woman, I'm a mystery.  I still see and hear who I used to be, who I am, who I'm gonna be. - Richelle
"Where you'd learn do to that, miss?" "Just do it, that's all; ... I got natural talent." "I'll say you do, at that." - Firefly

NancyDrew1930

I remember as a four/five-year-old in the late-80's wanting to wear what the girls were wearing with the 80's fashion styles (perhaps that's why I like wearing scrunchies now, because they remind me of the 80's scrunchie look that the girls wore back then).  But even ten years later, and I just found these books again today, but I bought some Nancy Drew Files that had photo's of the stars from the 1995 TV series on them, and I remember wishing that I could dress like Nancy, Bess and George had dressed on that show in pink skirts, dresses and coats.  I've always found that clothing for guys was so drab and dull and boring.  The girls had all the fun styles. 
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