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Emma1017 ... Which hurts less - Volume Two

Started by Northern Star Girl, April 19, 2025, 08:30:30 PM

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Emma1017


I keep it simple for the kids, I use my male name but that is ok because, as you have helped me understand Sephirah, I have always been Emma.  That is what I needed to learn.  That is the smile they see.  That is the smile I feel and the one you all know. 

It's the one I share with people I care about.

Jess I feel more like a convertible lately...😁

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Sephirah

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 08, 2025, 09:38:57 PMI keep it simple for the kids, I use my male name but that is ok because, as you have helped me understand Sephirah, I have always been Emma.  That is what I needed to learn.  That is the smile they see.  That is the smile I feel and the one you all know. 

It's the one I share with people I care about.

Jess I feel more like a convertible lately...😁



That's what makes you genuine, Emma. Doesn't matter what you do, what name you use, how you approach things. You have always been and will always be the person you are inside. That beautiful, fragile, kind, inquisitive, understanding soul. That is the light behind your eyes. The beauty behind your smile. Girl, you are you. And that's all there ever has to be.

I am so proud of you. You are doing a very hard thing with compassion and grace. You are a testament to everything good in the world. <3
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Emma1017


Sephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.
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ChrissyRyan

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 09, 2025, 11:15:09 AMSephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.

Good for you!

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

Emma,

Have a nice weekend!

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Emma1017


Thank you Chrissy. I hope you have a great one as well!
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Sephirah

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 09, 2025, 11:15:09 AMSephirah, thank you those amazingly nice words. The subbing is easy.  The kids and staff make it that way.  I am just plugging into what already exists. I get to laugh every time I teach.

You are in a much better school than I went to, Emma. And I am grateful for that. :)
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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    The following users thanked this post: Lilis

Emma1017



Sephirah, I think most kids have a better chance than when we were kids.  We all know the imperfections now, but pedophiles don't have social ignorance to hide behind, and more schools have better policies for LGBTQ students.

There is a long way to go, but at least there is visible progress.


Sephirah

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 11, 2025, 08:50:15 AMSephirah, I think most kids have a better chance than when we were kids.  We all know the imperfections now, but pedophiles don't have social ignorance to hide behind, and more schools have better policies for LGBTQ students.

There is a long way to go, but at least there is visible progress.



Nah, honey, kids have a much better chance because they have much better teachers. <3
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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    The following users thanked this post: Emma1017

Emma1017



❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Emma1017


Sorry all, I am having a miserable night and I need to vent or I will explode. We went out with friends all day and went to a pub around the corner from my house for a night cap. Stupidly, my friend and I got caught up in politics.  We are on opposite sides but still really good friends.

I told him we needed to shut down the subject but he made some additional remarks before we went back to the hockey game on the pub tv. He rotated his back to me to talk with other hockey fans and I was left sitting there while our wives put more money in the jukebox box.

I sat there angrily watching the tv. I decided to leave a told my wife my back was acting up and told her to stay. She was having a good time and didn't want to ruin it.

My friend said something that triggered me. Not his fault, just his politics. It just set me off internally. I excused myself and walked home

As I got changed, I refused to look at myself or my body as I passed the mirrors.

I said to myself that I hate being transgender, I hate what I am and I am just hurting. 

I need to post this to purge my feelings. I am being massively selfish doing so and I apologize but I need to get my thoughts out of me before I implode and this is the best I can do.

I am so sorry for dumping on you.


Emma1017

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Sephirah

Don't ever be sorry, Emma. You know where I am if you want to vent to someone okay?

This place is here for you to get all this stuff out. To help you.

Emma, you are who you are. Ain't nothin' and nobody in the world can change that. What you can do is take refuge in people who get you, and are there for you, when times get hard.

You're my friend and I love you. You aren't going through this alone. I am only a word away. <3
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

davina61

Vent away dear its your space, big cyber hug coming your way XX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
  • skype:davina61?call
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ChrissyRyan

I heard a Mexican naval ship hit the Brooklyn Bridge's underside but the 142 year old bridge is apparently safe.  There was a human cost though, tragic these failures happen.  I heard there were deaths and injuries.



Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lilis

Lori Dee

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 17, 2025, 11:22:49 PMI said to myself that I hate being transgender, I hate what I am and I am just hurting.

I know that feeling very well. It is important to remember that none of us asked for this. We are just trying to be ourselves. Usually, this feeling pops up right after being triggered by an outside source. That is when it is most important to remember that you accept yourself, and many others accept you exactly as you are. We know how it feels, so vent away. There is no need to apologize.

Sending more hugs your way!
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete

Emma1017



I signed on here this morning to delete my last post, but you all already responded.  Thank you.

Like everyone here, we are surrounded by an abrasive outside world while we beat ourselves up from the inside. Last night was just a series of triggers, most were just innocent, but said while I was extra sensitive.

Nobody's fault, just the way it all happened.  It was at the end of a long day. 

Thank you all again for the support and understanding.

Chrissy, it is a beautiful ship.  There are lots of reports online.  It lost power and then the current pushed it into the bridge.  I heard of two deaths, young sailors on the main mast, and a number of injuries below.  It's a very sad tragedy.


Lori Dee

Quote from: Emma1017 on May 18, 2025, 09:02:02 AMNobody's fault, just the way it all happened.  It was at the end of a long day. 

It happens. I didn't think anything could damage your sunny disposition. I think we were all just waiting to see you bounce back. I am happy that you can just shrug it off.  :)
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete
  • skype:.?call
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    The following users thanked this post: Lilis

Emma1017

Lori, I have a singular goal in life, to live my life with as much joy as I can and to share it with anyone who shares back. 

Unfortunately, there are too many joy suckers than joy sharers so it takes an extra effort to maintain a sunny disposition.

I know you share the same goals subject to similar joy suckers. 

We will have joy! ❤️