Monday I get two CT exams. First is another look at my kidney, to see what condition it is in. Some problems were noted on the MRI, but was not the reason for the MRI. This will be interesting with water contrast to see how it is functioning. Later will be the CT lung scan, which will be my second annual scan. Medicare will pay the full amount for the lung scan, and the hospital can compare it with last years scan.

I'm 75, at my age there might be a lot of concern about me having HRT. The thing is I am not on any prescription medication. No high blood pressure, no diabetes. My cholesterol is a little bit high, but last year it was low, a slight diet change should change that. Go back to snacking on walnuts, cashews, and sardines.
Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on May 16, 2025, 07:00:55 PMWhat I need is a gender therapist. What I don't know is if the veterans health will deny it simply because of the word gender.

The VA does not have a "gender therapist". Their mental health team is not divided into specialties. Mental health is mental health. Just make an appointment. You don't even need to say why. Once you are in the office with them, you can explain your concerns and it will go from there no matter what the diagnosis.

If your mental health provider feels that you need medical tests, they will have your Primary Care physician order them for you.

It would have been nice if the any of the therapists could have at least discussed a few things with me. About what it amounted to was paying someone to listen to me.
And then I read someplace they are not allowed to state that it sounds like your dad is a narcissist. All those accusations of trying to self injure to get out of work were not discussed.

I do have in my past, I am assuming she was a psychologist, who sat in on one session. She asked if I masturbated. I said yes. Her response was that was proof that I was not transsexual. That was proof that I enjoyed being a male. I never saw her afterwords. I don't even know if she was even qualified to make that judgement. What she never found out was that I imagine myself getting pleasure as a woman.
Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on May 16, 2025, 08:19:06 PMGo back to snacking on walnuts, cashews, and sardines.

So, this must be the trick to stay at 162.6 pounds on the scale each morning.

I have to break through 190ibs, I think I'm giving these snacks a go. 

Cashews are my go to nibble.

The walnuts, cashews, and sardines are for the omega 3 oils, the good oil to fight cholesterol. The seeds and nuts have a compound that contributes to the formation of kidney stones, so I'm limited to 1 serving per day.

Like I said someplace before, I was using the keto diet without knowing it was a keto diet. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with my scale, as it will show the same weight days in a row. It is a struggle just to keep my weight this low. When I had the broken wrists, my weight climbed to 191 pounds. That's when I bought the exercise bike. The pedal resistance doesn't matter, the motion matters.
Michelle
 

I take fish oil capsules to help my joints so get my Omega 3 that way.

Quote from: davina61 on May 18, 2025, 03:19:15 AMI take fish oil capsules to help my joints so get my Omega 3 that way.

I actually found salmon oil capsules. They were right next to the cod liver oil. I couldn't help but wonder how much healthier the kids were from taking the cod liver oil.

Kind of split between embarrassment and pride at having breasts. Anyway, I bought a t shirt and there is a pickup on the front. One guess as to where the wheels on the pickup end up. Reminds me of decades ago I saw a t shirt with two teddy bears on it. Below the teddy bears was the question "Are you staring at my teddies?" It made me wonder how a woman could wear something like that.
Thanks to my mother, I had a fear of getting my face slapped for even looking in the direction of a woman.
Michelle

I had to go find the original photo of me in the blue dress. I believe it was from about twenty years ago. That is not a wig, it is my natural hair, and even at 75, I still have a full head of hair. Though now I have a bit of silver/gray. I have no experience with wigs, so I have no advice to give anyone about wigs. If I get into cosplay, I might want to learn more about wigs.

I'm not wearing any makeup. That is the natural color of my lips, a little bit of chapstick makes them glossy and looks like lipstick. On the theme of makeup, back then I had read someplace about tattooed on makeup.

I believe that is the dress that I actually walked into a dress shop and bought. I think back then I had a 36 D bra with the silicone breast forms.
Looking at other pictures I might have hair on my arms between my wrists and over my elbows. No hair above my elbows and very little on my hands. Definitely no hair on my chest, and not much on my legs.
Michelle

I saw the photo of Nancy. It does bring up a few questions. It is a handicapped restroom, does it mean she is against handicapped people?
Her attitude is only two sexes, we don't need special restrooms for trans people. There was comment someplace that trans people using the handicapped restroom is inconveniencing handicapped people who can't use the restroom because it is occupied by a trans person.

I just heard of another cis woman mistaken for a trans woman, forcefully removed from the women's restroom and escorted to the street by a male security person. with restaurant patrons harassing the poor woman.
The attitude is it doesn't matter because she was not presenting as a proper woman.
Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on May 19, 2025, 10:59:14 PMI just heard of another cis woman mistaken for a trans woman, forcefully removed from the women's restroom and escorted to the street by a male security person. with restaurant patrons harassing the poor woman.

This happened at a hotel in Boston. The security guard was fired over it, and the hotel donated to a local LGBTQ advocacy organization as a form of apology. Bigots are everywhere. When they are punished for their actions, hopefully, they learn that their behavior is unacceptable.

Here is the story.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,250966.0.html

That was not what I intended to post. I had a couple of CT scans scheduled today. One at 1:00 PM, the other at 2:00 PM. I was there by noon, was given 2 glasses of water to drink. I assume water contrast for the kidney. Later on the CT lung, I was given an IV contrast. What I felt from that was weird. I did feel like I wet myself, but that was the wrong location. That was where a female would wet herself.

Anyway, I was done before 1:00 pm. Then it begins, pee before I leave the hospital, drive to Walmart, have to pee again. Get my groceries, cut short my shopping, drive home. 15 minute drive, can't stop to pick up my mail, need to get to the bathroom. And make sure I drink plenty of water.

I had stopped using my exercise bike due to my leg aching. I have gotten different shoes, and now I'm back to pedaling again. I was doing 10 miles in the morning and 10 miles in the evening. This time I will limit it to 5 miles in the morning and 5 miles in the evening. That should be 40 minutes every day.

I didn't think I would do this, like the idea I had years ago. The idea back then was to wear a dress in the house and then change to jeans to work outside. But then it was just kind of a day dream, and I did not wear a dress indoors. Later when I did wear a dress indoors, and had to take out the garbage, I went outdoors wearing the dress. Now days I'm changing to jeans to go outdoors due to the weather. When I get back in, I might change into a nice mini skirt.
Michelle

After my pulmonary function test, my VA provider stated that I do not have asthma or CPOD. Now I need to figure things out as in the results of the CT lung scan it states that I have Mild emphysema. I do have it in my records that my mother had emphysema, and her dad died from emphysema.

I had taken steps to relieve my breathing problems decades ago, except for quitting smoking. I might have been using the nicotine for my autism. I am getting close to 2 years without smoking, and I am wondering how a nicotine patch might affect my autism.

It seems my chest has expanded a bit to increase the amount of air I breathe. That could account for the bra size increasing from 36 to 38, although my measurement is 37. I'm going to have to try that idea of a bra extension so I can wear the 36 size bra.
Michelle

In 2023 I broke both my wrists. I have been notified that my income was too high in 2023, and the VA will make adjustments to my health benefits. I sent them a tax statement showing a medical deduction of over 20 thousand. I received another letter, I have 30 days to send them copies of the medical payment receipts.

I have the receipts, just need to copy about 50 receipts, mark the case number in the upper corner, and fax them without having a fax machine. I am not able to fit 50 pages into the little return envelope they sent me.
Michelle

Otherwise they will go back and charge me copay for all the service I have had. Nothing before 6-7-24. I'm trying to decide if one receipt of 10 thousand will do since I am only 3 thousand over the income limit.

I'm a bit concerned that in one year went from low cholesterol to high cholesterol. The one kidney appears to be healing, but no comparison to know if the other kidney had any problems before.

To see how my diet has changed I can check my journals to see what I had been eating and compare it to now. My journals show what I was eating and how many calories, but no other nutrition information. To get the nutritional information, I need to transfer this to the food diary, and then get the information from the internet.

One question I had was where did I find one donut with 550 calories? It was a Kwik Trip long john. I have to watch out for the boredom eating.
Michelle

Quote from: Michelle_K on May 22, 2025, 04:10:40 PMIt was a Kwik Trip long john.

Those are SO addictive! I love them.
 

Quote from: Michelle_K on May 20, 2025, 02:32:30 PMI had taken steps to relieve my breathing problems decades ago, except for quitting smoking. I might have been using the nicotine for my autism. I am getting close to 2 years without smoking, and I am wondering how a nicotine patch might affect my autism.

I took the step to look for nicotine patches. Google came up with a study of the effects of nicotine on ADHD.
I took a nicotine lozenge before driving to my storage unit yesterday. I don't know how far I drove when I realized I no longer had the blurred vision. It had been a slight blur, and I would get eye strain.

Doing research I found out that the nicotine might have been masking my autism. My research showed that autism does affect vision and might contribute to dyslexic symptoms. So today, I am using a patch. I do seem to have more energy.

Yesterday, I bought a shirt and some skirts. I still have a bit of trouble when it comes to using the fitting rooms. I tried the shirt on when I got home, and it appeared a bit small. Today with a different bra, it fit just right. I did try on the denim skirt, and it was a little bit small. reminded me of the time I was getting some abdominal pain and realized the jeans were a bit large and I was pushing out my belly to keep my jeans up. Sucked in my belly and buttoned my skirt. It was slightly tight, but ok for now. I thought I can just grow into them, but how does one grow into a skirt that is too tight? A bit of incentive to loose more weight. A bit of between sizes, size 14 skirt falls down, and size 12 is too tight. I should make an extension for the upper button. I think they do make waistband extensions for jeans.

I bought a bra extension but the hooks are the wrong spacing and won't line up. So I have two choices. The first choice is to rip the seams and resew it with the proper spacing. The second is to sew an extension onto the bra and put in another row of loops.
Michelle

I started out the day questioning the reason for watching the Indy 500 race. Just wondering if watching a race was a man thing to do. If it was a tradition to watch the Indy 500 race, maybe it is a tradition that needs to go away. Some may watch just to see the accidents. To sit and watch the cars go round and round for 500 miles and not get anyplace. Just something to take up time on a boring afternoon.

Does it all come down to variation in noise levels and flashing colors as the cars go by? It might be the autism, but when the race is won and the winner is announced, 5 minutes later, I would not be able to tell you who won or the color of the car.
Michelle

I ran into a slight problem today, as I went to put two items onto my shopping list. I forgot what my second item was before I could even write it down. I remembered what it was after getting to Walmart. So I bought 2 frozen turkey dinners for tomorrow.

I got the proper color thread for the GI Joe outfits and waist extensions for the skirt. I had two other skirts and they fit proper along with the jeans I had bought.

With the blur finally gone from my vision, it won't so bad driving the fifty miles to St. Cloud. So I also get rid of the dread of driving to the Va health center. I think the eye strain is pretty much gone reading the posts here. I had mentioned the blurring to the eye doctor, but nothing was done about it.

There will be less anxiety driving to the 50 miles to the court house to upgrade my birth certificate. I remember one time entering when it was in the other building and going through the metal detector. I forgot about my steel toe boots, but otherwise no problem. If the metal detector is there, I'll have to let the officer know about the metal plates in my wrists.

I may have another problem though. With about a hours drive I will need to use the restroom, and I have never been in that building before. Being it is the courthouse there may be officers wandering around. Minnesota allows me to use the women's restroom as I wear women's clothes, and my driver's license now has a F on it. I might get a bit intimidated due to the fact that my dad had a gun and a badge. I know very well what his opinion of cross dressing was. I'll just say emotional abuse.
Michelle

  @michelle K
Dear Michelle:
Thank you sharing and posting.

I have done the same thing... forgetting my "LIST" when I go shopping.  As you did, I sometimes end up
with not getting something, or a double purchase... 
          (the good news is that you can put the 2nd frozen Turkey in your freezer
that will provide another nice meal in the future.

.... Driving with "blurred vision"... I had a similar problem about a year ago with a new medicaation
that I was taking that the unwanted side-effect was temporary "double vision" ... I had to drive for
2 hours at night with one eye closed otherwise my double vision caused me to see 2 lanes to drive on,
not a good situation and driving at night did not help.

Wishing you well with traveling to the court house to upgrade YOUR birth certificate.

Please keep your updates coming.

HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]