So I got my hair cut boy short yesterday, for anyone who doesn't know.
(Yeah my avatar is a recent picture of me, but I had my hair back in a short ponytail.)

My mom got home late, so she didn't ask many questions about it, and my dad wasn't really surprised.

I figure it might help as a sort of "ok we saw this coming" thing when I come out next week...One of the transguys from support is going to be there with me when I tell them, to answer my parents q's and everything...And I planned it so that it's after mom's bday and when my cousin has gone home (because I feel only my immediate family needs to know right now). It's a necessary evil, coming out, because I'm going to see a GID therapist soon at the request of my regular therapist.

Thing is...they didn't seem to say much about my haircut...but suddenly I came home today and mom's going on a  "I don't want to interfere with your life, but..." speech...Giving me advice about wearing earrings again (I HATE earrings) since it looks really nice with short hair.

She stayed on that for all of 10 minutes before she started comparing me to my cousin who's doing all sorts of crazy things and "trying to find herself" before she started asking me if I was going through an Identity Crisis. After that she kept asking me "who are you?" ...And I almost wanted to say, "your son..."

Now I know I got a tattoo and cut my hair within 2 weeks of each other, but MAN you hit the nail on the head mom. It almost felt like such a relief that she's picking up on my changes and I wanted to come out to her right there and then....But I remembered my cousin was in the living room and I don't need her to take this back home with her since I feel this is a immediate family matter right now, my extended family doesn't need to know JUST YET. Also, my dad's not home, and I kind of wanted to sit my parents down at the same time when I come out to them. He gets hurt when I feel I can tell my mom something but not him.

I feel like....relieved still and I'm thinking "thanks for seeing through me mom, you're making this so much easier for me to do..." but then part of me is terrified because I know if I get cornered in her room again like that I REALLY MIGHT tell her.

The logical side of me is telling me to wait til next wednesday like I'd planned, after I read my letter for support group and they give me feedback on it, and when the transguy can come, and all of those factors....

But man, I love my mom.

I feel like telling her "we can talk about this soon," and taking back me saying "your daughter" in response to her 'who are you' question just so she doesn't remember this conversation next week and think me a liar...

Yeah, my mom twisted my arm about what was going on with me, though we're not close and she hasn't seen me in a LONG time.  I told her over the phone.  Since then on the phone she's really trying to understand and I find that endearing and comforting.  Thing is, I thought out of all my family that she'd be the one to disown me, but she's been the most supportive.  Go figure!

Jay

They didn't even think the haircut was cute? In a genderless sense, I mean. I mean, you can call boys cute, too... Lol.

What is significant about the 6th for you?

If someone asked me who I was, I'd say, "I don't know. Who in their right mind knows who they really are?"

Yeah, when I told her "we'll talk about it next week, I know who I am" she was all "well, what are you?" and the look she was giving me was asking "...lesbian?" I probably shouldn't laugh at that, but I'm squeezing as much joy as I can out of this week just in case things go wrong next week, so I can have memories to hold on to.

Quote from: Elwood on July 31, 2008, 05:12:19 PM
They didn't even think the haircut was cute? In a genderless sense, I mean. I mean, you can call boys cute, too... Lol.

What is significant about the 6th for you?

If someone asked me who I was, I'd say, "I don't know. Who in their right mind knows who they really are?"

Well yeah, in the midst of that conversation with my mom, she said my cut was cute.

The 6th is significant because 1. my cousin will be gone by then so it'll be an immediate family matter, 2. it's AFTER my mom's birthday...so if she takes the news badly I hope I won't have ruined her birthday. Something like that you just don't forget, and I don't want to make birthdays bad for her because it reminds her of the "day her daughter came out as a son." Though I'm fairly sure I'm taking a gamble there anyway, who knows she might see it that way regardless of what day I do it. 3. If things do go wrong, I can avoid some negativity because school is coming up, and I have buffers between my parents and I until school frees me once again if I do it by the 8th at least. But if I do it the 6th, it gives them time to digest and ask questions before my friend comes to visit (they act nice in front of my friends and wouldn't bring it up around them, even though my friend already knows).
I don't know, I just plotted it that way. I used to create schemes a lot as a kid and I guess that crafty side of me is coming back in an intense situation.

And that's an awesome answer Elwood LOL that's what I probably should have said!