Hey everyone, I wanted to ask people's opinion and see if this is one of those "red flags" my fore mothers (Andrea James, Lynn Conway, etc.) warned me about regarding transition.  My problem is I'm trying to save up money for my Orchi, which is in a month or two.  Even though most of the financing for it is coming from another source, I still need to save about $600 to make up the difference.  Sounds like an easy enough task...

The problem is things keep coming up, and I have to keep digging into the savings bag I have.  Need food this week, needed new shoes to replace a broken pair last week, would like to get my eyebrows done sometime this summer (they're really bad right now...beyond self-plucking), etc.  More stuff keeps coming up and I can't help but dig into that savings bag.  Even with two PT jobs, I'm still struggling just to pay the bills.  If stuff stopped coming up, maybe I could hang onto the money but I can't.  If something doesn't come up, I dig into the bag anyway because I want something else, like some clothes or some accessories.  I'm really trying not to spend it, but it's hard.

I need the surgery, but I want other things too.  I feel like I'm in a tug-of-war with myself and I'm not sure how to calm my wants so I can save the money for the surgery.  Is this a red flag?  Maybe I don't "want" the surgery "that badly?"  I really don't know, but it's really bothering me and I'd like some insight.  I know I need and want this surgery for my health and peace of mind, that's not in question.  Trying to save the money is the problem.

Jenn

Wow

I can completey sympathize with your situation. I have been struggling to save up money for so long so I can see a therapist and figure stuff out so I can start HRT. But then so much stuff just seems to come up and get into my savings bag.

But for me, personally, I have never really thought that I really dont want HRT badly enough because I can manage to save money. I know, that if for whatever reason, suddenly I won the lottery or something I would go directly to a therapist so I could start HRT. But realistically I know this doesnt happen very often and also realistically stuff comes up. Food, clothes, etc all are necessary to some extent and unless you have a lot of money coming in from your PT jobs then it is going to drain your savings no matter how hard you try.

Lory

That, my Dear, is a problem we all face.  Things happen and we have to rob Peter to pay Paul.  I am the last person to talk about saving money.  It is the hardest thing for me to do, but I have some thoughts.
Try to put the money somewhere where it is a pain to get to.  Have some else control the account, whether it is the actual book or card.
Move the money to another bank that is hard to get to.

Make sure your priorities are in place.  Do I really need those shoes or just want them?

Oh I just thought of an old trick that I learned when I was in Amway.  Raise the number of exemptions on your taxes and put that money into savings.  You shouldnt get into trouble with your uncle.  But you may have to pay next year.

Just some thoughts.

Love,
Mistress Janet

Thank you both.  Uh, this is so hard for me.  I know I need this surgery, I know it's one of the most important things right now, and it's the right thing for me to do now.  It's the final chapter in my physical transition, and I desperately want to see it through.  I just need more self-control to get the surgery.  I keep remembering something I read on Andrea James' site, http://www.tsroadmap.com...that you have to save as much as you can for transition costs.  It might mean eating ramen noodles for a while, but you have to control your spending (and I'm paraphrasing here).

I'm just glad the bulk of the money ($2K) is already on the way, and once it gets here is going right into the bank and isn't going to get touched.  It's just that other $6-800 that's giving me a headache. 

Jenn

You've got what, Jenn? A couple of months? Try to put aside fifty each time you get paid. Re-budget to have that right off the top. If you don't see it it doesn't hurt so much.

Just a bit of will-power now and then imagine the clothes shopping, etc afterwards!!

Nichole

Are you going to Dr Kimmel?
He's only $2000 for an orchi

but yeah
I keep trying to save money too but its hard
you gotta make sacrifices!

lol
buy cheaper clothes/shoes (Payless works)
Do your own eyebrows, (there are tutorials on youtube if you need guidance)
Just find a cheaper way to do things ya know?

Quote from: Nichole on August 12, 2008, 10:01:35 AM
You've got what, Jenn? A couple of months? Try to put aside fifty each time you get paid. Re-budget to have that right off the top. If you don't see it it doesn't hurt so much.

Just a bit of will-power now and then imagine the clothes shopping, etc afterwards!!

Nichole

Thank you sister. It's actually sooner than that...

I got a call today that my surgery has been scheduled for Tuesday, September 30th!  I'm really excited, initially they wanted to schedule it for the 26th of this month but there's no way that was happening, wouldn't have the money by then, plus that was like the second day of classes. 

Saving money just took on a whole new sense of urgency and priority.  I need to come up with the difference ($6-700) and save it, no more spending that isn't absolutely necessary.  Basic Food and Cell Phone, that's it.  Rent is taken care of.  Everything else can wait until after the surgery is over.

Quote from: le_joli_papillon on August 12, 2008, 12:54:27 PM
Are you going to Dr Kimmel?
He's only $2000 for an orchi

No, Dr. Kimmel is too far away for me.  A local urologist who has helped others like me is going to do the procedure.

Jenn

Nothing like urgency to be a motivator.  Keep us posted as to your recovery, which I am sure you have already planned on.

Save, Save, Save, Save, Save, Save. 

Mistress Janet

O don't worry Janet, I'll keep everyone informed. 

Jenn

When I get ready and am able to start saving I'm putting signs up all over the house to myself saying things like "What do you really want?" and in the kitchen to help lose weight "What do you really want?" and wrap a slip of paper around my debit card saying "What do you really want?" and.... Well, you get the idea