Wasn't sure where to put this, and the sexuality forum didn't exactly seem appropriate, looking at what was already in there heh.

So I am out as a lesbian. And I think I like guys. But only when I'm a guy too. [But not planning to come out gender-wise.] Mainly I'd just like the general idea of me to be bisexual. But I'm not sure how to say no never mind, I'm not a lesbian anymore.

Planning to do this on the internet like on Facebook/Myspace or something to avoid any intial face-to-face encounters, which I know will come, but I'd rather not have it spread by word of mouth.

Any ideas on what to write? I am clueless.



Thanks.

 
change status to bi then.

Yeah, but what am I supposed to say when people ask me about it?

Well, I guess it means that no matter who they are you can say, 'yes.'

Quote from: freespeechz on August 13, 2008, 06:28:40 PM
Yeah, but what am I supposed to say when people ask me about it?

say that you've had a think and that you aren't a lesbian, you are bi..just don't go into the nitti gritti.

Why do you have to revoke it all? Just take it one conquest at a time - the guy goes 'hey, but i thought you were a lesbian?' and just grab his crotch to show that you're not.

that's the go gettum style

It's funny, lately I've been going through a conscious process of moving away from bisexuality to just being lesbian. To explain all this would involve hours of over-analyzing... but in short it's because "bisexual" can mean any number of different things for different individuals, for me I just do not see women and men as equivalent. My sexual attraction is of a very different nature regarding men and women, and I've come to realize that relationships with women are the only ones that can work for me now. I've gone back and forth with my fluidity of sexual orientation for years, but now I seem to be finally settling into a consistent lesbian mode.

LOL, thanks for the sound advice Nero.

Hypatia, yeah, I'm not even sure a relationship with a guy would work.  But right now I'm just working on figuring out the sexual aspect.

Perhaps you could say that you're still finding out who you are as an individual, and through that process you're exploring your sexuality... which is currently in a state of flux.

I believe that most people are inherently bisexual to some degree, and that sexuality is naturally fluid for women (maybe for men too, but I have doubts). I'd gotten to accept that it was constantly shifting about, so for me to finally settle in one place with it is a new thing. But now I know I'd be happier as a lesbian. The desire for men still exists, but I've gotten to where I can do without them. Women have so much more to offer. Men have only one thing. A very tempting thing at that... but on the whole... no thanks.

Analyzing why I felt drawn to men (apart from the sex itself), there were two additional reasons: 1) Protection and security on the street, 2) the general social pressure to conform to heteronormativity, because to be out gay is swimming against the current.

Both of these have changed: 1) I'm taking a women's self-defense class, and feel a lot more confident without a man to protect me, 2) I have firmed up inside me that I need to take a stand for lesbian sisterhood and solidarity, to support what I believe in, to resist heteronormativity. United we stand. There's more about why I am now so sure I'm lesbian, but it's private and I won't go into it here. But oh it's the most wonderful thing in the world! I feel like singing...

LOL, the 1970s, very funny, Nichole.

Actually the song I had in mind was "Sweet Woman" by Cris Williamson.

Hmmm.... walk into whatever place where you might see some guy that you like. Tell him that you just came out of a serious, long term lesbian relationship and need some other lovin'. 

When I went from one to the other I just told a couple of close friends and changed the status on my social pages to bi (if anything at all).

A while ago, I changed my designation on social sites from bisexual to lesbian, just so the men would leave me alone. I got tired of them always bothering me. But now I really mean it about being lesbian.

Just say you're bi, or in flux...I hate labels, myself.  It's good to keep folks on their toes!

You could just say "I like people, I like sex and I'm not fussy about gender!"