So after two years of slipping between the cracks and simply not going to school, the system has caught up with me. I'll be going back to school in about a week, all things going as they should (I do have court before school begins, so if I'm not in rehab/a placement/juvie then I'll be somewhere just as bad...public school).

How should I deal with this? The last time I was in school I was a bad kid, always at the principals' office, getting into fights and getting suspended. I figure the past will repeat itsself, since I cannot and will not "sell out" to the mainstream ideals of how I should look and behave.

I've never really been bothered by the questions ("are you a boy or a girl?"), though I'm unsure of how to answer. I live in a relatively small community, and last time I went to public school I was ostracized...I would like to have some friends, I guess, just someone to sit at the lunchtable with.

I'm worried about how to get past the bullying and prejudice handed to me not only by students, but teachers as well. When I was in 7th grade, I was actually taken to a school meeting to discuss the way I dressed (I was a punk rocker back then), but besides caring about the safety pins and colored hair, they seemed to be very interested in why I would wear a skirt one day and boy's clothing the next. As if I had some sort of mental condition that made me feel I was a boy one day and a girl the next. That's not it...I sometimes simply felt more masculine than feminine, and vice versa.


So I'm rambling...I guess what I'm asking is basically this...

Should I discuss my androgyny with classmates and teachers?
How should I go about doing this, if so?

Sparkz
Start with the school guidance counselor  they would be your best source of understanding androgynous issues.  (best to contact asap as they will be very busy the first week)

your school or district may have a gay straight alliance  with regular meetings. the counselor would know about this.

The school here also has a student advocate  this is usually a parent that students are comfortable  talking with. The advocate smooths the lines between  the students needs and the administrative needs

QuoteI'm worried about how to get past the bullying and prejudice handed to me not only by students, but teachers as well.

bullying by teachers should not be a problem, but if it is...  it needs to be brought to the attention of the school administration.

bullying by other students should not be tolerated by the administration. if it happens they need to be made aware of the situation.



Remember  you are there to get an education, its work, but you can have fun doing it, get involved in some extra activity.
if your attire/behavior is disruptive to the overall learning environment the administration has a right to ask you to tone it down.  (skirt...OK,    micro mini-skirt...NOT OK)

Ahhh.  Public school.  The place where we are forced to conform to the general public view of how we are to look and act.
Don't get me wrong, I liked school, just not the people.  I was bullied, hit, cussed at and general feel like a misfit.  In those days, I did not understand why I felt different.

But Sparkz, there are laws to protect you from bullies.  It does not stop them, but you have recourse.  Like Kate Alice said seek out the school guidance counselor.  They are sometimes an advocate  for the students.  Talk to them and maybe your old friend, the principal.  Most schools now have policies in place for bullying and some have  policies for GLBT students.

Good luck in school.  Have some fun, make some friends and try to enjoy the time there.

Mistress Janet

The only thing worse in the long run than school, is trying to do without it.

Can I give you a compliment Sparkz? I think you look cute/cool  *blush*

could be worse, you could be going to a private school and thus turn into a right proper nob-end.

the answer is simple, bend when it suits you to bend and be firm when it suits you to be firm and most importantly of all, remind your teachers that you are there to learn and any pointless aggro and faffing about your appearance is just a distraction from the main goal.

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 18, 2008, 03:02:31 PM
could be worse, you could be going to a private school and thus turn into a right proper nob-end.

Hey I went to private school most my school years! 

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 18, 2008, 03:02:31 PM
could be worse, you could be going to a private school and thus turn into a right proper nob-end.

the answer is simple, bend when it suits you to bend and be firm when it suits you to be firm and most importantly of all, remind your teachers that you are there to learn and any pointless aggro and faffing about your appearance is just a distraction from the main goal.

I totally agree with Pica, people are always trying to shape others into their image. It's so annoying, neh?

Quote from: Nero on August 18, 2008, 03:05:41 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 18, 2008, 03:02:31 PM
could be worse, you could be going to a private school and thus turn into a right proper nob-end.

Hey I went to private school most my school years! 

i do have the tally-ho, play up and play the game type of private school in my mind.

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 18, 2008, 03:13:35 PM

Quote from: Nero on August 18, 2008, 03:05:41 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on August 18, 2008, 03:02:31 PM
could be worse, you could be going to a private school and thus turn into a right proper nob-end.

Hey I went to private school most my school years! 

i do have the tally-ho, play up and play the game type of private school in my mind.

What's the tally-ho private school?

you know, the english private school, full of tossers

oh yeah, nothing like that.

School is in many ways a game.  You just have to know when it's okay to give a little attitude and when it's better to just say "yes ma'am/sir" and try to do what they want with little fuss.  Also, I generally find that if you're up front and confident in yourself, then people can't really say/do anything...it's unnerving to them in some way...if someone brings up your clothes/etc., try to keep a bored/nonchalant attitude about it...make it as big a deal as buying milk.  I would have been an easy target for bullying, but nobody bothered me because I was oblivious to it and I just didn't care.

Just remember that it doesn't last forever.    Keep your eyes on the prize and all that.

Thanks Veeje, I appreciate yer compliment mad lots. =D

And Je, I think that seems to be the proper response, the last time I was in school I was only beginning to realize I was androgynous (before that I had never new it had a name! my parents were very accepting, they're my biggest blessing...and they never really cared about the fact that i was "slightly offbeat" as my dad puts it...) and ridicule made me feel like crap. I was also a spiky haired punker so I got made fun of for that as well...haha...

But yeah these two years have taught me a lot...I'm going to try to go into it with the attitude of "screw it, i'm here to learn, i'm gonna pass and do good and if i make a few friends along the way or mess with some heads then cool beans."

Cheers for all the responses, everybody, it's boosted my confidence.