Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 07:12:59 PM

Quote from: Mister on August 24, 2008, 07:02:41 PM

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 05:00:45 PMI know quite a few transguys who are with straight women. What your mom said is completely untrue. In my experience, it's harder for transguys to date gay men (that aren't also trans).

Wow, I have to completely disagree with this statement!  My few forays into gay bars (or bars in general) have proven completely the opposite.  Gay men are totally into FTMs!  Set foot in any bar here in SF and you'll see what I mean.

You are post op. You pass "100%." Do they know you're trans and that you don't have a penis? Or did you have phallo?

I'm talking about FtMs that don't have penises because most of us don't.

Quote from: Monty on August 24, 2008, 07:07:00 PM

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 06:54:12 PM

Quote from: Monty on August 24, 2008, 06:05:03 PM

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 05:45:50 PMSame here. I am small. My hands and feet and arms and legs... all very small. Child sized. I shop in boy's. I'm wearing SMALL boy's underwear-- SMALL. I wear a boy's medium shirt and a boy's 14 pants. I have one pair of 16s that fit.

In women's I fit small in clothes and extra small in underwear. I recently found I fit a "5" in women's panties, whatever that means. I wear girl's underwear under my boy's underwear during periods with pads for extra security. The worst thing in the world would be to be a passing boy who bleeds on his period.

Right now I'm wearing a medium GIRL'S tank top under my shirt. It is not very tight. It acts a a binder, sort of. It smooths things down instead of flattening. I'm trying to keep the breast tissue healthy and elastic, so I don't put a lot of pressure on it.

This morning I weighed 78 lbs. I weighed myself before breakfast, after I peed, with only underwear on. Normally in the day I weigh around 80. That's still much lower than I used to be. I used to be 85. The highest I've ever weighed was 87.

Yeah, I'm quite small too. Men's small or boy's large/medium is what I have to fit myself into... and sometimes I can't even get into the men's small. I also have these really slender girly hands and it drives me crazy. I'd like them if they didn't look so feminine.

And you are quite thin. For my height, the lowest I've ever been was 94lbs and I got really sick... I'm now 114lbs and 5'7". I'm hoping T will help me put on more weight. I'd like to fill out some more if I'm not going to be very tall. It sucks being skinny and on the shorter side. But I guess its that confidence thing again.

I'm just going to get a binder myself, because I measured my breasts and I seem to be 1 or 2 cm's off from the smallest size. So I figure it wont damage the tissue.

My dad's a men's small. I dream of the day when I can fit into men's clothes. I'm kind of sick of wearing kid's clothes. The fashions are totally different.

I personally wouldn't complain if I was 5'7". That's a good height to be.

I was thinking of getting a compression shirt. I might get something like that for swimming. I want to be able to pass while I'm learning how to swim (yes, I can't swim, and I need to learn as soon as possible). But I will never bind all the time. Not unless my boobs get to be a B. Then I'll bind regardless, probably. I pretty much won't bind as long as I pass without binding.

You're maybe a AA, then? I'm an A cup.

Yeah, at the moment I'm stuck in between. I have to get my pants from boys but I can get most shirts as men's small.

Yeah, 5'7" is pretty decent. It could be worse.

I'm not sure exactly what size of cup I am exactly but I know I'm an A. I'm 27inches/68.5cm around.

Oh, Well, I'm also picky. I want the shirt to fit properly. Not too big for the shoulders. If it is, it dwarfs me and makes me look even smaller.

AA is the smallest cup size I'm aware of.

They're aware of my having had no bottom surgery. 

And they want to have sex with you, or are they just flirty?

Besides, I'm not talking about picking up boys at bars. I'm talking about having committed relationships. Most things at bars will ->-bleeped-<- anything than moves.

I am not gay, thus I am not looking for relationships with men.  These men at bars are flirty, they want to have sex.  They give me their numbers in case I change my mind, etc etc.  that being said, I have many a ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<- friend who sleep with and have relationships with cisgendered gay men.  In fact, my trans friend who has been in the longest relationship is pre-op, not on T and married his husband last year after having spent ten years together as a gay male couple.

That's one example, certainly the minority. It proves nothing. And he probably looks more like a man than any of us. You don't seem to get it, living in a magical world where you 100% look like a man.

The guys that flirt with you are not looking for a long term relationship. So it doesn't count.

My friend who has large breasts, wide hips and a high voice looks more like a man than who exactly?  'Cause he doesn't, he knows it, and he doesn't care.

I bought up once that I pass 100%.  I was accused of claiming to be 'more trans' than you.  While this was never my intention, I stopped bringing it up.  Yet, you do nothing but throw it out there every time I speak of a personal experience.  What's the deal?

You like to bring up fairly often how miraculously successful you are. :/ And I'm sick and tired of your superiority.

Okay people, let's keep the discussion civil, alright?

If you are not familiar with the site rules, read them again and again until you understand them!

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

Quote from: TOS2. Any attempts to stage protests, dispute the site policy, the TOS/rules, or actions of the staff; in the public areas of this site will not be tolerated and will result in your removal. If you have issues I suggest you contact susan@susans.org and not bring your issues into the public spaces on this website.

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tink

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 08:27:00 PM
You like to bring up fairly often how miraculously successful you are. :/ And I'm sick and tired of your superiority.

Once.  I'm not about to apologize for passing.  I hope everyone gets to the place where they are comfortable within themselves and viewed however they'd like by others- friends and strangers alike- but I am not about to sit here and pretend I retain the appearance of a woman.

Thank you, Tink. However, I do feel I have a right in saying I dislike his tone. I think that is appropriate.

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 08:34:16 PM
Thank you, Tink. However, I do feel I have a right in saying I dislike his tone. I think that is appropriate.

Perhaps you should try to PM people and discuss things that way instead of posting it on a public forum?

Thanks!

tink

Quote from: Tink on August 24, 2008, 08:35:50 PM

Quote from: Elwood on August 24, 2008, 08:34:16 PMThank you, Tink. However, I do feel I have a right in saying I dislike his tone. I think that is appropriate.

Perhaps you should try to PM people instead of posting it on a public forum?

Thanks!

tink

No, I'm most certainly done. Thank you. And thanks for catching me cussing again. I was doing really good until today.

Hey...Hazard I been through this line of thought when I first realized I was trans. I like women too and I thought "great now I'm going to be single forever."

Don't let that stop you bro cause it ain't true at ALL.

If it helps, here are some real life transmen who are happily in relationships or married to women....

I love spending time with my wife, Jenny. [/b]I love you, baby! Thank you for being in my life. We got married January 12, 2008! I like to read, play Sims 2 Deluxe (a new addiction) and I spend a lot of time on current events, especially political activism on behalf of those in the Transgender community and queer youth. In March 2003 I founded the Transcend. We meet bi-weekly and I still participate from time to time. I am a student at the University of Phoenix.....[/i]


Hi. My name is Ethan, and I am a 26-year old graduate student. For undergraduate school I went to the University of Vermont and graduated in May 2005, majoring in Animal Science/Pre-Veterinary Studies. I am currently a veterinary medicine student in the United States and should graduate with a DVM degree in May 2010, at which point I will decide my next adventure. My wife Molly and I have two cats and a dog, Tyler, Atilla, and Leif.


I am ready to live my life the way I have always wanted and be whom I have always wanted to be. I am married to a wonderful femme named Violynt. She has helped me in my journey to becoming who I really am.  She has never tried to persuade me one way or the other on anything that I have done.  She just stands by me so I can realize my own potential and she has helped me put into words what I have felt all my life.  A better way to put it is,  she helped me find the words to describe what I always knew.


Things Zander Loves
Heroes: Myself My Dad My Partner Margaret Peace Pilgrim Lou Sullivan[/i]

All these guys are linked on the home page susans.org so I'm not pulling this out of the air. It's possible for you to find the right girl man, don't give up


Removed links, please read the link policy, TOS#1 - Tink

Quote from: trapthavok on August 24, 2008, 09:17:20 PM


Things Zander Loves
Heroes: Myself My Dad My Partner Margaret Peace Pilgrim Lou Sullivan[/i]




Removed links, please read the link policy, TOS#1 - Tink

I don't blame him.  Margaret's pretty cool.

Your mum's wrong, Hazard. Mine said the same things to me. Not only did I have no trouble getting with a girlfriend, but her friends are supportive of her relationship with me, and at this stage, I feel like if things didn't work with my girlfriend (which is not anticipated), I would have no trouble finding someone else to be with.

And, my gf says I'm the best in bed she's ever been with, and she's not just pulling my chain. There are benefits to dating women who've never been with anyone but straight bio males. A lot of straight bio males don't have a clue what to do with a woman's body.

I have no personal experience with gay men, but most of the gay transguys I know have very little difficulty finding partners, be it for sex or longer term.

Dennis

Yep ur mom's wrong dude.  I got many f2m friends.  some of them r gay & some of them r straight like me.  My gf's straight.  doesnt see me as a "girl" b/c I aint no girl & some of my buddy's bf's, bio dudes, dont see them as "women" either.  They r just 2 dudes in a relationship thats it. they dont got any troubles findin bf's either.  Maybe when u start T & start to change she'll change her mind. Hope so.

Quote from: Dennis on August 24, 2008, 11:29:31 PM

And, my gf says I'm the best in bed she's ever been with, and she's not just pulling my chain.

Good 4 u bro.  My gf says the same thing 'bout me   . my buddy JC's girl says the same thing 'bout him & yep they aint lyin! u can tell when they um...   >

Quote
There are benefits to dating women who've never been with anyone but straight bio males. A lot of straight bio males don't have a clue what to do with a woman's body.

Same thing here.  my gf & my buddy's girl only been w/bio dudes B4 but yep ur right, bio dudes dunno what 2 do w/a woman's body!  We gotta teach em!   >

Thanks i think my mum wants me to be happy. and is trying to understand as much as i am. I new Trans people can be with someone and most of them are with straight women. Like u said if A girl dont like me for me that she not my girl.... But when i start everythink going... if i do. i dont see what i will have to lose.. I rather be lonley in the body i wont. then be lonley in a body i dont.

Um... I would just like to add that physical attraction isn't the only form of attraction. A girl can also be attracted to you for any number of other reasons. Your outlook on life, the courage you show through everything you are willing to do to be yourself, the way you treat her and show affection. There are infinitely more indicators of manhood and being a gentleman that what's between your legs.

Biological males or transmales, it makes no difference to me at all. If I went for guys then it would be the person inside that I would find attractive, the heart and soul of a guy, his hopes and dreams, attitude to love and relationships. I can't speak for biological women, but I suspect the same is true on many levels. Being romantic, thoughtful, caring, tender, chivalrous, honest... all are attractive qualities no matter who you are and what stage of your transition you're in.

I, and most other girls, I suspect, would consistently choose a gentleman who doesn't have a dick over a man who acts like one.

You have very little to worry about, Hazard. Just be yourself and treat people with respect and openness. Love transcends physicality and appearance. You will find that special someone.

*hugs*

I'm hoping that girls will see me as not some cute play thing. I want them to look inside and see who I am and not be distracted by my size.

I'm a miniature person. I'm going to have to get used to that. I guess the best I can hope for is a miniature girlfriend. Then again, transgirls have NEVER belittled me, even though most of them are taller than me. I wouldn't mind having a taller girlfriend, to be honest...

Im not worred about my hight.. Im 5.2 maybe 5.3 no taller then that.. But danny devito has a wife LOL

I've been "dating" since I was 14, and every single one, except for 1, was straight 100%. Not to yank my own chain, but I'm speaking 30+ in 10 years. Of course, I didn't sleep with all of them, not even half, but most have been sexual relationships. I have plenty of straight female friends, who also, would have no problem dating a f2m. You'd be surprised how much women are more interested in that emotional thing. Yes, sexual chemistry is a must, but you can find that, and learn what each other likes/dislikes, is comfortable with, and whatnot down the road. I'll also add, I'm 100% hetro, and "we" carry on a hetro relationship. And only tell those, who we are close to.

As far as the whole gay relationship thing. I have to back up Mister. I also get hit on quite a bit by gay men, who clearly know I'm f2m, because I tell them off the bat "I'm not what you're looking for". And make it CLEAR I don't have the right equipment, biologically at least. And they still, push on. Which has lead to me having to be down right rude, to get the point across on a few occasions. I also live in the bay area though, so I can only speak for around here.