Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

I hate my family...

Started by deviousxen, August 27, 2008, 08:36:15 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

deviousxen

So my brother, who some of you may recall disowned me, and wished I were dead, is coming home soon.

So back to boy clothes for a few days -_-

But basically, even after I'm out to him, my mom wants me to bind when I come home until he's graduated from high school. She expects me to remain in the closet and NOT tell my friends, while simultaneously saying I'm a bad friend for not coming out to a couple of them. She thinks that I'd be selfish to everyone in the family, and that It'd be like her, "running down the street naked," to not hide who I am when I came home from being myself in college. I told her she was treating me like a second rate kid, and to just leave me alone. She just kept going and going and going.

I cant wait to leave this hellhole. I hate them. In order to hate something, loving it in the first place is a partial requirement. I mean... You could only passionately hate to the worst level what used to be with you.


I hate this
I hate this
HATE

She claims to have never said something she blatantly did once. Two things: Disowning me, and saying, "I wish you were aborted," and saying, "I hope you don't become an artist, and learn to be something useful like a plumber or something."

I said, "I don't trust you." And you know what? I didn't. I recorded this argument this time. Too bad It made me sound worse, cause she was more calm. Things are never as they seem. And my voice sounds like crap. I think it needs more training.

Augh... This is killing me. So I went downstairs to get some dinner, and saw her and went, "Should I paint myself white like MLK?"

And the dinner had flies all over it, cause they forgot to put it away. I had had a stomach ache earlier. AWESOME.
  •  

Rhye

Your family is a bunch of screw-ups.

Seriously. There's no reason for a mother to treat her child that way. It's a big change, yeah, but there are many parents who deal with it and CONTINUE SUPPORTING THEIR CHILD. It pisses me off!

Things are going to get better. You won't be there forever. Keep us posted.
  •  

Nero

Some pretty horrible things for a mother to say to her child. I'm sorry, D. This really sucks.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
  •  

Janet_Girl

Baby,

I am being a real B**** now but, S**** them. Be yourself.

If they wish to disown.  Then beat them to the punch and disown them.  However ( as she back pedals ) if you are depended on them for living arrangements, financial, etc.  Forget what I said.

Girl, you have to be you, not need to be, but have to be.

Yes , I am being a b, but I really, really, really hate the "Others" telling us what to do. ..!.. them.

Sorry, girl but power to us!

Janet




  •  

deviousxen

I'm trying to be myself. Its just really overwhelmingly hard cause I ripped myself apart to find out what was at the core. Now I'm rebuilding by I'm weak, and young, and deformed.


It takes a while damn it!

And it doesn't help that she insists I EFFING BIND when I come home for THANKSGIVING. WHAT THANKS WOULD I HAVE? I mean... If I were FtM this would be less difficult if tits are apparently the worst things ever... I mean. Apparently wars are started over them. I hate humanity now...

...

I HATE IT


  •  

Jordan

I think Binding would cause medical problems for developing breasts. I wouldnt advise doing so.

And really what is the worst thing that could happen if you just said F them all, and went about your day being who the heck you are.

Eventually shoving this issue into thier faces hard enough may cause them to get it.

You obviously told your parents seeking support and love and recieved the exact oppisite.

Ask your parents if they really want to be the type of people who turn thier backs to thier daughter, and ask them to understand exactly what that means when you and they get older and reflect on your Guy's relationship.
  •  

deviousxen

Quote from: Jordan on August 28, 2008, 03:29:42 AM
I think Binding would cause medical problems for developing breasts. I wouldnt advise doing so.

And really what is the worst thing that could happen if you just said F them all, and went about your day being who the heck you are.

Eventually shoving this issue into thier faces hard enough may cause them to get it.

You obviously told your parents seeking support and love and recieved the exact oppisite.

Ask your parents if they really want to be the type of people who turn thier backs to thier daughter, and ask them to understand exactly what that means when you and they get older and reflect on your Guy's relationship.

Well...

I'm debating this right now. The fact that my mom is still the person who supports me for the most part. A job isn't gonna make a dent in my college. Maybe living expenses, but not much else.

So I'm their dancing puppet for now...

I swear.

I'm the one who's choosing their damn nursing home and I'm the one whos supposed to support them when they get older. WTF>!>>!>!>!>!

And she stubbornly thinks she did what in her opinion was the right thing.

She expects me to act like I love her, cause shes my mom.

I hate it.
  •  

Jordan

Ok, Ok I hear you on the fact that they support you with living arrangements, food, college expenses, ect, ect....

But heres the thing, There is no way they expect you to support them in the future.

That is something you have taken onto yourself in its entirety.

Its apparent, I felt the same way, we see our parents struggling and we have a deep seeded need to want to help them, but we are too young and immature to be capable in this modern society of doing so.

So That is one thing you will have to drop, ITS NOT YOUR responisbility to take care of them.


And Even though she is stubborn in thinking you should love her, to some degree she is right, you should respect your elders opinions.

But just respect, you are your own person and have your own right to choose your own path in life.


Also They owe you the right of eternal love and understanding, and even if they choose not to always grant you that, somewhere deep down in them it is still there.

Best of luck dev,

Jordan
  •  

deviousxen

Thanks..

I would respect her opinion more if she were SANE.

I can't respect an opinion of a person who's hormones are even more in the wrong place than mine, AND that she is violent, and probably majorly manic and psychotic....


Thanks though. I do appreciate Jordan...
  •  

Stealthgrrl

Stop reading my mail, Devious.

My mother's reaction was, "I never want to see you again." My brother's reaction was "you're killing our mother." Another relative said supportive things out of one side of her mouth, while telling me I was going against god, and that I had a disorder, out of the other.

My mother backed off, just a bit, from her original stance. She wanted to come over and see me, where I was recovering at home, alone, from my surgeries. But she wanted a promise that I would dress male. Because she seemed to be giving an inch or two, I agreed, just that one time, though it felt obscene. I wore sweats. The next time, she wanted me to do it again, and i refused.

Except for my mother, I lost my entire family by transitioning, or should I say, because of their attitudes regarding it. And I lost them in short order. As for my mother, she will deal with me one on one, but let the paltriest neighbor drop by and she wont introduce me (not just not as her daughter...not at ALL) and the last time I was there she was asked if I were "that girl who comes by and helps you sometimes." and she answered "yes." I've never been back.

But she calls. Most of the time I let the machine get it. She says, "I love you" just as if she actually knew the meaning of the word.

It's a thorn in my heart, the family stuff.

(((((((((((((((((devious)))))))))))))))

Stealth
  •  

vanna

yes hunny im so sorry to hear this too, why do people become discusting just because you change gender is beyond me but your story certainly rang familar bells with me.

All i can say is when you gain independance and take more control of your life the hateful people seem far less significant even if they are family.

Small consolation i know but sacrifice is usually a transgenders most well known trait.
  •  

Kaitlyn

Quote from: Stealthgrrl on August 28, 2008, 07:19:18 AM
My mother's reaction was, "I never want to see you again." My brother's reaction was "you're killing our mother." Another relative said supportive things out of one side of her mouth, while telling me I was going against god, and that I had a disorder, out of the other.

Where do they GET this nonsense?!?!  How do people GET AWAY with justifying their own bigotry on the fly by invoking Invisible Magic Man or Mother Gaia?  Come on, really!  I don't see anything in the Christian Bible in support of C-sections, vaccinations, painkillers, antibiotics, eyeglasses, contact lenses, dental fillings, bone screws, organ transplants, tissue grafts, etc etc ad nauseam.  Those are all just as unnatural as HRT & SRS.  How can people be so sanctimonious about this "against God/nature/Shazam" hypocrisy?  Was I going against God by being born at all, since I was delivered by a medically necessary C-section?
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled."
— Plutarch
  •  

Stealthgrrl

Nephie, don't forget the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
  •  

deviousxen

Quote from: Stealthgrrl on August 28, 2008, 07:19:18 AM
Stop reading my mail, Devious.

My mother's reaction was, "I never want to see you again." My brother's reaction was "you're killing our mother." Another relative said supportive things out of one side of her mouth, while telling me I was going against god, and that I had a disorder, out of the other.

My mother backed off, just a bit, from her original stance. She wanted to come over and see me, where I was recovering at home, alone, from my surgeries. But she wanted a promise that I would dress male. Because she seemed to be giving an inch or two, I agreed, just that one time, though it felt obscene. I wore sweats. The next time, she wanted me to do it again, and i refused.

Except for my mother, I lost my entire family by transitioning, or should I say, because of their attitudes regarding it. And I lost them in short order. As for my mother, she will deal with me one on one, but let the paltriest neighbor drop by and she wont introduce me (not just not as her daughter...not at ALL) and the last time I was there she was asked if I were "that girl who comes by and helps you sometimes." and she answered "yes." I've never been back.

But she calls. Most of the time I let the machine get it. She says, "I love you" just as if she actually knew the meaning of the word.

It's a thorn in my heart, the family stuff.

(((((((((((((((((devious)))))))))))))))

Stealth

I'm so sorry to hear that... :(

My life may go to that eventually...
  •  

Kaitlyn

Doesn't it almost make you wish they wouldn't talk about love at all?  It just makes it worse when they talk about how they love you and you can always come to them with a problem, when you know that they'll refuse you...
"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled."
— Plutarch
  •  

michelle

Hi Ya'all,

Your family, my family, they all have an emotional stake in their perceptions of us.   They want to keep us as we were even if its not really us.   Changing our sexual appearance really threathens them emotionally and they do everything they can even emotional blackmail.   It hurts us because they don't love us because of who we are.   Each of us has to do what is best for ourselves,  but as a sixty plus years old the longer we take to adjust our sexual appearance to our gender the more emotional relationships we develop and the harder it is to be who we are.   When we are younger we have our birth family,  when we are older we have spouces and children, then our children's spouces, and grandchildren, along with all of our friends and aquaintances both on and off the job.  Then if you were a teacher like I was you have all of your students over thiry years.     Financial security in my case was just  day to day an illusion. 
Michelle
Be true to yourself.  The future will reveal itself in its own due time.    Find the calm at the heart of the storm.    I own my womanhood.

I am a 69-year-old transsexual school teacher grandma & lady.   Ethnically I am half Irish  and half Scandinavian.   I can be a real bitch or quite loving and caring.  I have never taken any hormones or had surgery, I am out 24/7/365.
  •  

Adrien

-hugs- I'm so sorry.
Things will get better, they always even out,
even if they don't see they EVER will.
  •  

deviousxen

Quote from: Nephie on August 28, 2008, 11:57:51 AM
Doesn't it almost make you wish they wouldn't talk about love at all?  It just makes it worse when they talk about how they love you and you can always come to them with a problem, when you know that they'll refuse you...

I hate that, yes. I also hate becoming like my mom cause her hate is like a disease.
  •  

Elwood

Sorry, but your mom is being an inconsiderate bitch. For serious. Would she tell her biodaughter to bind? No parent should EVER ask their child to bind. It's not a healthy thing to do under any circumstances.

I'd hate the situation too, if someone told me to just act girly again... Just to please someone else.
  •  

deviousxen

OH wow...

Thats a solid point there... Dude...

SUCH a good point.
  •