Quote from: Northern Jane on July 15, 2008, 09:35:44 AM
The RLE/RLT is a legacy from the old days (1970's) when a person requesting SRS was expected to disappear into the woodwork after surgery and it was meant to "get you feet wet" and "prove" to yourself and others that a woman's life was what you wanted and that you were capable of living a woman's life.
I suspect, as things changed, it was retained as a way to determine if you would truly be happy in whatever situation you would end up in after surgery.
With 'surgery on demand' in many countries now, I don't think it is as relevant - you pays your money and takes your chance.
It never was a "hard and fast rule" but a guideline. In the 1960's and early 70's I had lived nearly 10 years part time en femme (weekends and whenever I could get away from home) and when the opportunity for SRS came up, I had the full support of all my medical people.
The time en femme was very important to me and I learned a great deal. Being a teenager at the time, I learned makeup, fashion sense, and most importantly I learned a lot of the social skills that make 24/7 transition/SRS a snap. With that background, I slipped straight into stealth with nary a ripple.
I'm a legacy from the 60's and 70's myself, but was unable to find help in 1970, so I went on with my life until, by accident I learned what TS was, and that help was available. Now, I'm really enjoying the RLE.
Having the Standards of Care make a lot of sense. SOMETHING should be written in terms of GUIDELINES. As it is, there is no real standard for HRT, with each doctor doing what he or she thinks best. Therapists are involved to help ensure that people make informed choices, not to judge. When a therapist writes a letter of referral, their professional reputation is on the line, along with legal responsibilities as well. I would really like to know who I'm writing a letter for, if I were asked to give my formal support to someone. Kate points some of this out also. It's the system. Not unreasonable.
I view the RLE as a time for spiritual reflection and personal growth. It's also about setting goals. I'm 58 years old. I do not have a full life in front of me. I'm finding that what may be my greatest challenge to be setting and carrying out my post op goals. Transition is a process that we go through. Post op, life goes on, and that is where I'm focusing my energy. My objective, is to experience as much as I can in the real world in the gender role that I've been deprived of since birth. I'd like to be a saleslady, for example. Part time, just for the experience. I'd like to volunteer for the courts working with women and children. I'd like to work with teens at the LGBT center in my community. I'd like to help someone other than myself.
This is what is going on during my RLE. I have volunteered, and am waiting for a response. I am looking for a job, as well. There are also other things, and people, that require my attention. It isn't about diagnosis. It's about making an informed decision, and it's about understanding the future. I was socialized as a female as a child. Those skills which had such a damaging effect on my adult life can now be put to use. Northern Jane writes, "The time en femme was very important to me and I learned a great deal. Being a teenager at the time, I learned makeup, fashion sense, and most importantly I learned a lot of the social skills that make 24/7 transition/SRS a snap. With that background, I slipped straight into stealth with nary a ripple."
These things are very important. When I apply for a job, in person, I need to look, and sound, like someone that can be hired and will be an asset as I represent someone's company. I am not the most "passable" woman on this site! But, my confidence and speech helps to overcome my lack of a feminine figure, masculine facial qualities, or any other shortcomings. So? Some women are masculine in appearance. People come in different shapes and sizes! I dress well, and I'm skilled in the use of makeup, which I use to great advantage. The way that I'll interact with other people, the way that I carry myself in public. The way that I flirt with men, these are all basic skills that a woman needs to have. These are also things that can be explored during the RLE.
If someone would prefer a shorter RLE, or no RLE, I have nothing to really say. If that's what someone believes is right for them, well, perhaps it is. I certainly cannot specify what anyone else should or shouldn't do. For me, I'm finding it to be a very rewarding time, although if there was no such thing as a RLE, I'd still be taking my time, and looking into things as I am now. My therapist has also said that she would not be holding me to a 1 year minimum. Letters will be written to allow surgery whenever the surgeon has an opening, if the time is agreeable to me. I'll have the SRS when the time is right. I have some other things to do first.
