A girl I used to know (18 years ago!) recently contacted me. We have gotten very close very quickly again.

I decided right away to end my secretiveness, and just told her everything about me. She, much to my surprise, has been not only accepting, but encourages me to be myself with her.

She has visited me in my little hometown numerous times now, and it is now my turn to visit her. She lives 170 miles away, which is not really much considering the size of the state I live in. Many people commute to work every day that far round trip. Anyway!

I told her to look for a girl with shoulder length auburn hair in a bmw at her apartment complex tomorrow night. She responded that she loves auburn hair!

She is truly a beautiful person, inside and out.

Here is my question.  Should I get to know her again as Tracy, or will her acceptance disappear once we spend more time together with me in that role? I know there is no true answer, but hoping for some responses based on experience.

Thank you!

Just be yourself. She already has been pretty accepting, so it sounds like it is worth a shot. No point in getting to know her as someone that's not really you only to try and change later. That's a really rough thing to do that I am currently going through with my girlfriend (and to a lesser extent all my friends and family). I wish I could have been more honest with her, and myself, from the start. But, she might not be dating me right now if I was. Since she has a good initial response though I would definitely say just go for it.

Quote from: FallenLeaves on September 04, 2008, 04:10:10 PM
Just be yourself. She already has been pretty accepting, so it sounds like it is worth a shot. No point in getting to know her as someone that's not really you only to try and change later. That's a really rough thing to do that I am currently going through with my girlfriend (and to a lesser extent all my friends and family). I wish I could have been more honest with her, and myself, from the start. But, she might not be dating me right now if I was. Since she has a good initial response though I would definitely say just go for it.

I totally agree.  Be yourself.

Janet

Quote from: Tracy on September 04, 2008, 12:02:58 PM
A girl I used to know (18 years ago!) recently contacted me. We have gotten very close very quickly again.

I decided right away to end my secretiveness, and just told her everything about me. She, much to my surprise, has been not only accepting, but encourages me to be myself with her.

She has visited me in my little hometown numerous times now, and it is now my turn to visit her. She lives 170 miles away, which is not really much considering the size of the state I live in. Many people commute to work every day that far round trip. Anyway!

I told her to look for a girl with shoulder length auburn hair in a bmw at her apartment complex tomorrow night. She responded that she loves auburn hair!

She is truly a beautiful person, inside and out.

Here is my question.  Should I get to know her again as Tracy, or will her acceptance disappear once we spend more time together with me in that role? I know there is no true answer, but hoping for some responses based on experience.

Thank you!

Silly girl, she wants you to be Tracy, nothing but Tracy. It's obvious from what you said. By the time you read this your meeting will have been in the past, so tell us what happened. If you let her help you, Tracy will become dominant and the boy will fade away. Take the hand of opportunity offered, girl.

Some women are very erotically aroused by feminized men. Not necessarily a lot of them, but then there aren't a lot of feminized men either. T-Girls progress rapidly when given a GG escort into womanhood. There's a lot to learn in a hurry and no better teacher than a lifelong girl who learned it all the hard way, growing up femme. Remember, this person does not see being female as a bad thing that one ought to not do, but as a completely natural end result of a process that 3,000,000,000 other living people have made it through (or currently progressing towards). There are more than enough males in the world and you won't be missed if you switch to the other side -- you are not letting down mankind by leaving. Go live your life and be grateful that you got so fortunate.

before she left this weekend, she took my face in her hands, looked directly in my eyes and said


"i love you. all of you"

i couldn't stop the happy eye raindrops from falling.

my world has been changed

Wow, that's wonderful! That green shadow you see is half the girls at Susan's turning green with envy. I'm really happy for you!

And, Liann, your post was spot on.

Stealth

people are all nuts. I'm convinced. this girl is a wonderful person, but she got on my nerve this evening.

She went to a church where she had already told me she didn't feel comfortable because they speak to angels and more stuff that i find a bit nutso. I didn't have a problem with that in a big way, but got perturbed when I didn't hear from her as she has said she was going to call.

So. I sent her a text:

Filled with the false sunshine of ignorance and hypocrisy yet?

Damn, i'm dumb.

guess my 15 minutes of happiness are up.

How dare she do something that you don't think is worthwhile. How dare she not call just when you would like for her to. Who does she think she is? Obviously, anyone who tries anything that you wouldn't, is nuts.

Yep, you're an idiot.

Does it not occur to you that a great many people think that you, and everyone on this forum, is "nuts"? She didn't. She was kind to you. The least you could have done was get over yourself and return the favor.

Quote from: Stealthgrrl on September 19, 2008, 11:09:44 PM
How dare she do something that you don't think is worthwhile. How dare she not call just when you would like for her to. Who does she think she is? Obviously, anyone who tries anything that you wouldn't, is nuts.

Yep, you're an idiot.

Whoa!! Stealth, whats that all about?
Ease up a little bit, I do not think she is done yet.

Stealth was right in her response, and i thank her for the honest reaction.

i was just feeling impatient and the negatives kicked in in a big way.

i think it related to me feeling used and lied to so many times in the past.

i don't want to be and react these ways anymore. maybe i'm incapable of accepting acceptance on some level. fear of eventual rejection and all that.

Tracy, it looks like you're on to yourself, which gives you the power to change the future.

PS--regarding your ladyfriend, apologies can go a long way towards repairing hurt feelings. 

Stealth

*hugs*

Attack may be the best form of defence, but it isn't always the smartest. The trouble is, I've noticed, that people who are nervous or unsure about how they'll be accepted by others often tend to hyperinflate their own sense of significance. I'm guilty of it myself. And in situations where you ordinarily wouldn't assume anything out of the ordinary, or would chalk it up to some unforseen event, it often seems to be "That didn't happen because of me and the way I am. They hate me, and lied to me, and did xxxxxxx because of that."

It's a perfectly understandable reaction, I think, and one formed, in part, from the vulnerability you feel through loss of control. You have to rely on someone else's sensibilities towards you and once you've laid bare your soul to them, there ain't a damn thing you can do to influence the way they see you and the actions they take based on that. You just have to hope that when they say they understand you and accept you, they mean it, and aren't just saying it.

That can be scary, I know, and I've second guessed a couple of people's reactions more times than I've dared to count. One person I told said she understood, and that who I am didn't change a damn thing between us (she was a very good friend)... but actions speak louder than words, and I haven't heard from her in several months. Not a word. We used to talk fairly frequently but now... nothing. And the distance seemed to come about right after I came out to her.

Now, was that because I came out to her? Or was it just coincidence?

As much as I would like to hope it was the latter... my gut instinct and intuition tell me that it was the former. And that makes me sad. But... since I don't know for sure, I think the best thing is to wait until, or if, I hear from her again.

*sigh*

Anyway, I guess my point is that it's easy to assume that what people do or don't do is based solely on us and how they feel about us, but the truth is that there could have been any number of reasons for why she didn't call.

Have you been in contact since then and asked her why she didn't call?