Work.

They know me as Jonathan already. I know i dont pass very well, so hell knows how they didn't just look at me at first and say "You're no guy... what the hell!?" lol And i already get a bunch of people passing through that dont know me call me miss and lady and all that crap.

I'm hoping it wont be long before i start T... hopefully near christmas? A little before? A little after? I keep my fingers crossed for that one.

So... how do i tell them? How do i explain to them that i'm not biologically male and that soon i will be going through some changes? I know my boss is quite an alright woman... but it's just scary telling someone... will they see me different and all that?



Dont want to do it but i know i have to.

I'm facing the same thing only they know me as Female Name and address me as she; my name change will be final next Tues. (I, too, am Jonathan!) and I plan on changing my ID.  I'm not coming out at work until a) T has had more effects (I've been on it 8.5 weeks) and b) I have top surgery (Dec); and c) I'm sure my insurance has 100% paid for my hysto. They should, but I keep getting things in the mail that say total bill >$10K; we paid $1500, then another that says we paid $365, etc.  Why they don't just pay the whole thing I have no clue.  So I want that paid for before I tell work and have them switch my name/gender on the insurance.

I have a separate job with no insurance that I'll probably come out to as soon as my name has changed because there is no insurance involved and they never see me (online job).

Jay

Personally I would speak to your boss face to face and tell them the full story. I'm not sure what country you are living in but in the UK I think it is then their duty to inform the rest of the staff re what's what and I think they do now have a duty of care to you and your situation. My GF says she thinks it may be better to write a letter to the boss but personally I think it's best to see the gut reaction face to face with her, as youc an tell a lot by their reaction as to how it will work out overall. I would certainly advise that at least you let the boss know in case there are any problems in the future regarding other members of staff and their attitudes to TG/Ts people.

I don't know if you are like me but it constantly worries me that people have "read" me and I would rather they know I am transexual than just being an butch female. I was lucky work wise in that I told my boss the first week I started that I was an FTM (this was in 1987). The reason I did this is because the company I worked for before were openly prejudiced against homosexuals and I left that place as I figured if they couldn't deal with homosexuality there was no way they'd get their heads around transexualism so I didn't want to get settled in the job and then go through the same thing again.

This hasn't ironed out all the creases regarding work and me being TS as we have two new lads started in the last 4 weeks and my bosses dad is (a) getting on a bit in age and forgets to use male pronouns with me in front of the new employees and (b) doesn't like TS/TG people anyhow and may just tell them on purpose.

There's no easy answer to what is the right thing to do. It all depends on your character and what you feel most comfortable with, whether you tell staff individually or not but I would rather come clean and at least (depending what country you are in) legally have backing if there are any problems with bigots etc.

Good luck
John

To be honest I haven't come out at work yet.. and dont really plan to I work with complete a**holes a few people know who are my friends but other than that no one really does. My boss knows and she took it fine didn't really know what transgender was so I basically told her I was having a sex change, and she researched it got in touch with HR and found out all about it, and had guidelines to follow. Which is good of her but I guess it is part of her job too!  A few people at work have gossiped about me my voice, facial hair name change and all of that but that was going to happen I have been on T 6 months now so changes are showing now!

QuoteI'm not sure what country you are living in but in the UK I think it is then their duty to inform the rest of the staff re what's what and I think they do now have a duty of care to you and your situation.

Thats right they do have a duty of care but they can not force you to come out legally you dont have to tell anyone, but oversly if it affects your role then you do.

Quote
This hasn't ironed out all the creases regarding work and me being TS as we have two new lads started in the last 4 weeks and my bosses dad is (a) getting on a bit in age and forgets to use male pronouns with me in front of the new employees and (b) doesn't like TS/TG people anyhow and may just tell them on purpose.

Isn't this illegal? Has your sex changed legally?

It depends if you feel safe about coming out at work. But yes it has to be done! But if they already call you Jon there then I guess they sort of know already as its not really a unisex name is it?

Quote from: Jay on September 24, 2008, 03:24:13 PM

It depends if you feel safe about coming out at work. But yes it has to be done! But if they already call you Jon there then I guess they sort of know already as its not really a unisex name is it?

I hate to say this, but there's an old actress named Michael somethin'-or-other... *rummages around in the tubes* Michael Learned, that was it. She was on the Waltons, amoung other things.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 25, 2008, 09:34:11 AM

Quote from: Jay on September 24, 2008, 03:24:13 PM

It depends if you feel safe about coming out at work. But yes it has to be done! But if they already call you Jon there then I guess they sort of know already as its not really a unisex name is it?

I hate to say this, but there's an old actress named Michael somethin'-or-other... *rummages around in the tubes* Michael Learned, that was it. She was on the Waltons, amoung other things.

oooo I never knew that.. I still think Jonathan is a males name and if a person started at my place of work with that name I would presume they are male.

Quote from: Jay on September 25, 2008, 09:56:40 AM

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 25, 2008, 09:34:11 AM

Quote from: Jay on September 24, 2008, 03:24:13 PM

It depends if you feel safe about coming out at work. But yes it has to be done! But if they already call you Jon there then I guess they sort of know already as its not really a unisex name is it?

I hate to say this, but there's an old actress named Michael somethin'-or-other... *rummages around in the tubes* Michael Learned, that was it. She was on the Waltons, amoung other things.

oooo I never knew that.. I still think Jonathan is a males name and if a person started at my place of work with that name I would presume they are male.

Yes, but we are also talking about more aged, less open people than we are...

they call me jonathan because i introduced myself as a guy... like i said... i've no idea how they believed me seeing that i dont pass very well to begin with. So i imagine they either think of me as overpoweringly gay... or just plain old wierd.

I actually got a draft of my contract today (supposed to be a new one to all employee's, but it's my first) and it does state in there about discrimination and amongst the list was in actual fact gender reassignment (they probably have figured it out).

What scares me is not my boss in question... but the rest of them. If just my department knew, it wouldn't be so bad, but i guess if my boss has to know then the main man in the committee has to know and because my place of work is such a close relation to everybody it kinda makes things a bit awkward.

Ha I'm not going to tell work. I'm going to quit both of my part time jobs, get training for a real job, and by time that training is over I will have started therapy and changed my name (hopefully). I was actually thinking about changing my name BEFORE therapy if that is at all possible. Then I'll just jump in and introduce myself as trans to my boss. If all goes well, they wont NEED to tell my co-workers. 

Jon what do you do for a living then if you dont mine me asking?

So did you write Male on the application form then?

i didn't have an application form. Got the job by just being in the right place at the right time really. I work in a cattery at a rescue sanctuary. I went there from college on work experience and never went back to college - i stayed there as a volunteer until they gave me a job. And i started college in my male role where only my tutors knew.

I was at first expecting people to start asking questions about me - but no one ever did. I told my boss today that i needed the 7th Oct off (for my appointment with dr wylie obviously), i didn't tell her why, but she's really nosey and she asked... so i just told her it's an important appointment. I know she's a nice woman and i actually wish she'd adopt me to come live with her >___< lol So i dont think she'd have a problem with it. But i do know most of the people there can be quite snidey and they can and will chatter often behind your back so you really have to have ears with the people you trust to hear what things are being said.

Quote from: James-Allen on September 25, 2008, 01:10:15 PM
Ha I'm not going to tell work. I'm going to quit both of my part time jobs, get training for a real job, and by time that training is over I will have started therapy and changed my name (hopefully). I was actually thinking about changing my name BEFORE therapy if that is at all possible. Then I'll just jump in and introduce myself as trans to my boss. If all goes well, they wont NEED to tell my co-workers. 

well actually, you can. You can change your name just about any time. The judge may ask "are you doing this to defraud anyone get out of any bills lalala" but thats about it. Hell a judge let someone I know change their name to Harlequin (after making him do a report that proved heunderstood the historical role)

About name changes

i read that you dont have to actually tell the judge that it's because your trans as some judges may discriminate

but if u already use your name and have it on a document or something and proof that uve used it for awhile that, that its self can be your reason.

im thinkin of just saying that since my diploma says Jason.
that should be good enough proof dont u think?

Jason,

I think you might want to consider your safety and erase your last name from your entry.

thanks for pointing that out
i was not thinkin about that

my bad =/

for reasoning, just say personal preference.  you don't need to go in to how long you've been using it, what documents it's on.  you like it better.  that's all the judge needs to know.

Quote from: Jasonk16 on September 27, 2008, 01:48:33 PM
thanks for pointing that out
i was not thinkin about that

my bad =/

just trying to keep my fellow Man safe

Posted on: September 27, 2008, 07:04:02 PM

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also, as far as your job, OP, i had this idea, assuming they took your personal info like id or social security or whatever.... tell them there was a paperwork screw up and you've gotten it fixed?