As some of you know, a few days ago, I read all the posts to the question "When Did You Know You Were Trans?". After reading the last post I started sobbing, shaking and crying because that moment had just happened to me. No longer could I believe and try to fix, cure or find another diagnoses of my condition. I am Trans and always have been. I am a girl in a male body.

In 2006 and 2007 I spent a lot of time with some of you at Susan's with the name of Kylie and then Gwen and 6 months with a very respected gender therapist. As the reality of who I am got closer, I panicked and latched onto another diagnoses that I convinced myself fit. I even convinced myself that this was over forever. HA!

But finally I have completely and openly accepted who I am to myself. There is a great deal of happiness and excitment in my soul. I know now begins the hard part. But I have decided I do not want to die relatively young. So I am meeting with my gender therapist next week to make a plan for coming out again and moving forward to become whatever is necessary for life, happiness and peace. I know not where that will lead.

Bless all of you her at Susan's for contributing and caring about a messed up somebody you don't even know. Someday I will return the favor to someone.

Peace & Happiness

Wow, I faced that realization about two weeks ago and just told my wife of almost 19 years afew days ago!Besides this board shes the first person I ever told and I'm 42. I'm only just starting to stop shaking! I hope your path is an easy and joyful one!

Good for you CoolJ. I'm sure it was very difficult. How are you doing? How is your wife doing? The only advice I can give to you is to be patient with her. You've known about this for a very long time and she just found out. Do you have any children? I have three. One 25 year old daughter, one 11 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. They are the ones I worry about the most.

Best of luck to you and I hope you find your peace and place easily.

I have 2 daughters-8 and 11 and yeah its been a tough week.On the one hand I feel great on the other I feel terrible!She's taking it hard but we're staying together thankfully. I think because of my situation I will probably never see the transition. :(Hope yours goes better than mine!

*hugs both of you*

Both you girls have done the hardest part. Accepting, and understanding yourself for who you are is a far, far greater challenge than most other things you can face in your life.

Through self-awareness and self-belief you can achieve things that, before, seemed impossible.

I wish you both love and happiness in your journeys.

Quote from: coolJ on September 26, 2008, 05:50:51 PM
I think because of my situation I will probably never see the transition. :(Hope yours goes better than mine!

Not sure transition will work out for me right now either. I love my children so much that I can't stand the thought of missing their growing up. So I'll see what if any compromise we can come up with that will bring me peace. So I will see where this leads me and I can't quit this time until I am at peace. The other option for me now is to grave.

Posted on: September 26, 2008, 06:30:10 PM

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Quote from: Leiandra on September 26, 2008, 05:57:47 PM
*hugs both of you*

Both you girls have done the hardest part. Accepting, and understanding yourself for who you are is a far, far greater challenge than most other things you can face in your life.

Through self-awareness and self-belief you can achieve things that, before, seemed impossible.

I wish you both love and happiness in your journeys.

Thank you so much Leinadra for your support and encouragement. I hope this will lead me to the impossible.

Peace & Happiness

Acceptance was hard and wonderful for me. It`s like i had no idea how powerful it is. I was willing to give up my family to transition. Luckly my wife is going to stay with me and is currently paying for everything wile i stay home with the kids.  I hope it all works out for you. good luck!

Congratulations Angie for having such a supportive wife. I'm envious. I went here with my wife in early 2007 and she made it very clear that any hormonal changes or transitions would end our marraige. I know she means it. She is a very confident, strong woman of conviction. But I won't live long if I do not go forward with being the whole me. So I guess I'll just take it one day at a time.

Quote from: KylieLuv on September 26, 2008, 07:59:34 PMSo I guess I'll just take it one day at a time.

That's all you can do, honey, all any of us can do. Just take one step at a time and never say never.

*hugs*