Aloha yall! I was wondering if I was the only one or if it is normal. Now that I`m well on my way I notice that I don`t have such strong fellings of my Gid as I did bofore I started hormones. It`s like I felt fine now but know if anything where to happen and I would have to stop I would totally freak out again. I`m not living FT and can`t till I get FFS but for now I feel ok as long as things are going forward. I`m also a butt load less emotional than I was before I started hormones which is the opposit from what I`ve herd. Should I change my name to Abby for Abbynormal,LOL . Thanks,

I don't think my GID will "subside" exactly. I think it will focus on other issues (namely, my genitals). But I will pass better, making my happiness overall much better.

I'll be starting hormones sometime over the next couple months.

For me yes....I think. I mean I still think of this daily, hourly, etc. but I feel like Im going in the right direction. I'm doing something about it so I am just watching the changes take place. I am happier now that I have been dealing with it and I know the HRT has EVERYTHING to with it....Somehow I feel as I should feel and I am not angry by not dealing with the gid

my two cents
Christine

Im with you too Angie,

cant go ft till ffs, i did notice a calming influence in my life once i started hrt. It hasnt stopped my main transition goals but it has enabled me to concentrate on work and life again where before i was just a complete mess. I also experienced alot less emotion, i cried all the time before now thats really stopped thank god.

I live for 7am / 7pm for my split doses

GID started getting pretty intense around the beginning of puberty, even though puberty was a mixed bag (my body was producing low levels of both testosterone and estrogen). I was in an absolute panic about the male characteristics of puberty and started taking estrogen where ever and whenever I could get it - stolen birth control pills, veterinary estrogen, ANYTHING!

Doing something, anything helped but through my teens the tension just got WAY worse. Living part time en femme was good, but it was also a tease and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. Thank god SRS became available when it did!

I think, if I was going through it all today, as a teenager, just knowing I had medical help and that I was on the road to SRS would have helped tremendously. It was the not-knowing that made everything so traumatic.

It ebbs and flows. Sometimes I am fine and other times I get really sad because I know in my heart that no matter what I know that I will never be a genetic girl. (this isn't meant as an insult...I knew all this LONG before I started HRT). But hopefully, it will subside eventually.

Yeah, I started to doubt that I was really trans after I started HRT.  However, I think it was just due to my depression worsening.  Oddly enough, I feel the "wanna be a girl" thing most strongly when I'm otherwise happy and energetic.

I believe that the wannabe a girl and GID are quite connected. I do remember so when I use to have those wannabe urges. They were very intense and irresistible and the only way I could alleviate it was by closet dressing or, in other words, dress wherever I could when the opportunity offered itself. But as someone mentioned, the part time stuff didn't satisfy for long and toward the end I was even contemplating suicide. I was terrified in the thought of coming out but on the other hand I knew I would be so much "dead meat" unless I made a move.

I did and I went full time and went on HRT and for me it did much to help me to chill out. And for a time I was swinging off cloud nine. The gloomies did return for a short time but then after a few months I not only noticed but felt changes not just on the exterior but also internally.

Sensitivities, feelings, were much more intense and deeper than before. Like the first time I cried was a soul deep cleansing. I love this ability to feel all these emotions and to be free to share them with another individual. And yes, even your thought and perceptions of the world around you changing. You entire being is like being turned inside out and when you come out the other end you are not the same person you were before. One may continue having some traces of GID until after the SRS and then well past the other side of SRS is again a whole brand new pair of shoes to learn how to walk in.

May I suggest to hold off on FFS for at least one year and see the results of the HRT. You may still want FFS but you may not nead as extensive work done. I'm just an old bat and it's done wonders for me. If you wish you may go the the photo sharing thread, *the first page*

Cindy

Personally, As my body became more female looking, ive found my GID has gotten worse....
that thing... my penis that was just wrong before, is now utterly out of place... it makes me feel a freak, and unfit to be a girl
R

The longer I'm on T, the more I know this is the right thing for me.  I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin, more confident, able to handle confrontation easier, etc.  So in this regard I can say that my GID is subsiding, because my body is starting to match my brain, and the world is starting to see me as male.

I'm not sure I'll ever get over the body dysphoria in that I'll never have a penis and testicles that function properly.  I will make do with what I have, and the parts I have work and give me pleasure in that regard, but I'm not sure at this stage whether it will bother me more or less once my body is all male.

Jay

I still suffered with GID up till I went full time. I have been on HRT for going on 6 months now.  While I still get emotional more now and I am not happy about my body image, I am not think about being a woman all of the time.  Because I am a woman now 24/7.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 30, 2008, 09:03:49 AM
  While I still get emotional more now and I am not happy about my body image

Sounds like most women!

Congrats, Janet, on full-time!

Jay

Quote from: Rachael on September 30, 2008, 04:23:01 AM
Personally, As my body became more female looking, ive found my GID has gotten worse....
that thing... my penis that was just wrong before, is now utterly out of place... it makes me feel a freak, and unfit to be a girl
R

I concur with Rachael.  I also experienced the same thing.  For myself, it took SRS to be completely at peace! *hugs Rachael*

tink

When I started taking hormones, it substantially reduced my angst about my GID.  I was remarkably calmer and could function in a way I never could before.  I never even realized how much the GID was effecting my everyday life, until after I went on the hormones.  Although the GID was still present, and I still thought about it a lot, it wasn't causing this background "anxiety"/edginess.  I think as my body started to change into a form that was more consistent with my brain, I started to relax.   However, it did give rise to a new problem that has been quoted in several other posts:

Quote from: Rachael on September 30, 2008, 04:23:01 AM
that thing... my penis that was just wrong before, is now utterly out of place... it makes me feel a freak, and unfit to be a girl

HRT helped to a greater degree for me during the first four years as for that part of my anatomy I simply just did what I could to think it wasn't thee. During those four years I didn't ever think I would ever get to SRS so I felt I needed to adapt, there was no Way financially I could afford it. A window of opportunity came up and I took it. Any anxiety I may have had melted like snow in July. 4 years later I am as 100% complete female as medical science can make. I just don't think of myself as anything else then any other female I associate with at work and out there in public as well. But I do remember my roots.

Cindy 

The urgency to transition lesses when you actually start transitioning because, well, you're getting what you want. Just like how a new car isn't so exciting after a couple of months.

I would agree with that gracie...

Quote from: Gracie FAISE on October 02, 2008, 12:30:22 PM
The urgency to transition lesses when you actually start transitioning because, well, you're getting what you want. Just like how a new car isn't so exciting after a couple of months.

I agree, as well

Quote from: Christine on October 02, 2008, 01:05:31 PM
I would agree with that gracie...

I agree too.......

Mine wasn't so bad before puberty (wasn't good either), at it's worse in puberty, got significantly better on HRT, when things were slow it got worse and once I knew things were happening it got better. The strength of the GID is what compels me to surgery. These are my last, I hope that will satisfy me. I think if they ever figure out real testicles in my lifetime, I will go for that. Otherwise this will be the end for me. I don't know how I feel about that. All I know is I am significantly better then I was when I started. It scares me to think of ever returning to that hell and I know I would sooner die. So that makes the choice easy for me. Did it all go away? No, but in my head I am not done yet.

->-bleeped-<-boy