All I have to say, little brother is WWJB?  Wally Wally Jail Bait. 13 will get you 20

Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 29, 2008, 10:17:08 PMAll I have to say, little brother is WWJB?  Wally Wally Jail Bait. 13 will get you 20

LOL. Phew. Okay, this is getting kind of scary. I think I'll ask my therapist what I can do to suppress any potential urges I might have with this girl... >_>;; Why'd I have to crush on the youngest person I know?

A crush is only that... a crush. They all don't lead up to something.

I wouldn't worry too hard about it, it's only infatuation.

because she's unattainable... exact same reason why someone would have a crush on a married woman. 

the fact that she knows what gives her pleasure at such a young age concerns me. 

Oh come on, folks. He thinks she's cute. He has a crush. He's not planning on screwing her or tying her up in a basement or making her rub lotion on her skin or else she gets the hose....

Stop making the poor guy feel like a sociopath. Dan, you have a crush. You're a rational guy. You don't need therapy. You just know what you're attracted to. Now, if you start getting urges to rape or kill this person, ya know... that's bad. But that's not even the discussion!

People take things WAY too seriously.

SD

I think we've all had crushes on someone we knew was the wrong person. Unless you have major problems with self control, or begin to seriously pursue a relationship with them it shouldn't be a problem.

Usually the more you worry about it or think about how wrong it is the longer these things linger. Crushes are simply a phase, your interest in her will diminish or shift into a comfortable friendship.

my uncle was 18 and my auntie 13 when they started going out. they're still together.

Quote from: Nero on September 29, 2008, 07:52:27 PM
whoa dude. robbing the cradle, aren't you? the youngest i've had is 14.

The youngest I had was 19! The oldest 40! Im 21 now


There is nothing wrong with a crush dude.. just be extremly careful.

Quote from: Sebastien on September 30, 2008, 12:07:58 AMOh come on, folks. He thinks she's cute. He has a crush. He's not planning on screwing her or tying her up in a basement or making her rub lotion on her skin or else she gets the hose....

Stop making the poor guy feel like a sociopath. Dan, you have a crush. You're a rational guy. You don't need therapy. You just know what you're attracted to. Now, if you start getting urges to rape or kill this person, ya know... that's bad. But that's not even the discussion!

People take things WAY too seriously.

SD

Yeah... I think people just enjoy ravishing in things like this... jumping to conclusions and getting overexcited.

The only urge I really have is to ask her out on a date and get to know her better... but I'm pretty sure that's innappropriate.

If it makes you feel any better El, I have a HUGE man-crush on my ex uncle-in-law. Of course, nothing would or could EVER possibly happen there, but I still follow him around like a lost puppy when he comes over. Perhaps what you have with this girl is the same. Your heart will let you know, stop thinking so hard about it and just listen, it'll let you know.

Quote from: Elwood on September 29, 2008, 10:05:52 PM

Quote from: Mister on September 29, 2008, 10:02:40 PMWarm enough today to make me feel like I was going to overheat in my shirt & tie.  gotta love the monkey suit.

Meh. I stopped trying to man it up. I look like a little Mormon when I wear fancy clothes. Not that I have anything against Mormons.

Oh, I wasn't doing my best Mormon impression, I was going to work.  In an office.  Y'know, dress code. ...   blech.

I'm pretty sure that's innappropriate.

Pretty sure?  Not certain?  Get a grip Mary.

A COLLEGE GUY (or girl) DATING A JUNIOR HIGH GIRL IS WRONG.

And I live here, high school is 3, not 4 years, and even at that 13, (going on 14, like that makes a difference, how lame) is JUNIOR HIGH. 

And, just in case you don't really get it.  If I were her father (and I've raised kids, so I'm pretty sure about this) I'd be having a hard time deciding if I should call the police or take care of it myself.  If I were her older brother (and I have been, so I know this for sure), I would not even bother with the po-po. I'd get a couple of my pals and make sure you don't ever make this mistake again.  Clear enough.

I gotta say, as a lawyer who's defended guys in this situation, it's not a smart one to get yourself into, exactly for the reasons Tekla described. An 18 year old in my town just got killed for getting inappropriate with a 13 year old girl. Her brother went after him with a baseball bat. And we're not talking sexual assault here, we're talking inappropriate touching.

And if there isn't a brother or father with vengeance on his mind, you can be assured that the courts take any kind of touching of a 13 year old girl or boy very seriously.

Your choice though, but I'd get legal counsel and find out what the laws are where you live, and how much time you're facing. Then you can make an informed choice.

Dennis

Well Dennis, here in Sonoma County California, its a big deal.  We had an abduction, very brutal, very tragic, of a young girl named Polly Klass, see:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polly_Klaas

for the bare bones account, but lot of other, much more graphic discussions exist on the net.  It shocked and horrified what is a pretty much upper income area.  So they took steps to stop such things. 

To that degree, the agreed with MSNBC to serve as an example, so the entire first season of "To Catch a Predator" was done in Petaluma, in Sonoma County.  In the current Sonoma County, I could get busted with a pound of pot and walk, but sexual crimes involving a minor are not EVER plea bargained.  Never.  As a standard policy of the county attorney. 

And what's even worse than having her family find you?  Doing 10-20 years in a woman's prison for violating young girls.  Most people don't live past two years in that deal.

Yep, it's a huge deal here too. Canadian sentences don't tend to be as long as US sentences, but it's among the more serious crimes, and you'd be on the Sex Offender's Registry which would pretty well screw your chances of getting a job, travelling, or doing anything else except living with a stigma. And even if a girl lies about her age and says she's over the age of consent, you're SOL because it's your responsibility to ensure the age.

Dennis

I've often in my career had to be 'the jerk' which is the guy who stands outside the tour bus and checks IDs.  Sorry.  But its true, you must be this old to ride, kind of thing.

And at 13, even going on 14, its going to be real hard - because the prosecution would dress her up to be even younger, I know I would - to say, 'well your honor, she looked like she was 23 or whatever."

I'm sure you would too.  It just a standard tactic.

And in the US, as in Canada as you say, it follows you forever, hell, all sex offenders in California are on several different web sites.  You never lose that tag.

Uhmm. I think it's safe to assume Elwood is not planning to abduct/rape/etc her. It's just a crush, just make sure you don't act on it.

Quote from: freespeechz on October 01, 2008, 05:57:37 PM
Uhmm. I think it's safe to assume Elwood is not planning to abduct/rape/etc her. It's just a crush, just make sure you don't act on it.

I don't think you guys are getting what constitutes a sex crime. I'm talking about touching, kissing, affection. That can brand you as a child molester for life.

Dennis

Even talking about how much you want a penis to a 13 year old in the US is a sex crime.

And, as long as you've gone there Free,

I think that people are attracted to equals.  Equal age, equal mental levels, equal life values and all that.

So, you have two choices here.  One, if this is an attraction of equals, then Ellwood is about 13 when it comes to emotional/mental age.  Oh, don't like that.  Well if El is really an 18 year old, looking to date (his word) a 13 year old, then he is a predator, a much older person looking to exploit a person with much less experience and much less aware person.

Neither matter, if El is just at a mental age of 13, and his attraction to 13 year olds is therefore natural - it does not matter under the law.

Quote from: James-Allen on October 01, 2008, 01:33:19 PMIf it makes you feel any better El, I have a HUGE man-crush on my ex uncle-in-law. Of course, nothing would or could EVER possibly happen there, but I still follow him around like a lost puppy when he comes over. Perhaps what you have with this girl is the same. Your heart will let you know, stop thinking so hard about it and just listen, it'll let you know.

Well, I too would have crushes on guys way too old for me. That's before I had dysphoria, though. I can't really see a penis without wanting to cry now. He's just got it-- lucky him all natural like-- and I've got to have surgery to get mine... and chances are they'll put it where the clitoris is (too low!)...

Posted on: October 01, 2008, 08:22:59 pm

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Quote from: tekla on October 01, 2008, 04:36:20 PM
I'm pretty sure that's innappropriate.

Pretty sure?  Not certain?  Get a grip Mary.

A COLLEGE GUY (or girl) DATING A JUNIOR HIGH GIRL IS WRONG.

And I live here, high school is 3, not 4 years, and even at that 13, (going on 14, like that makes a difference, how lame) is JUNIOR HIGH. 

And, just in case you don't really get it.  If I were her father (and I've raised kids, so I'm pretty sure about this) I'd be having a hard time deciding if I should call the police or take care of it myself.  If I were her older brother (and I have been, so I know this for sure), I would not even bother with the po-po. I'd get a couple of my pals and make sure you don't ever make this mistake again.  Clear enough.

That isn't going to change how I feel. You can threaten me all you want.

Posted on: October 01, 2008, 08:24:29 pm

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Quote from: Dennis on October 01, 2008, 05:59:28 PM

Quote from: freespeechz on October 01, 2008, 05:57:37 PM
Uhmm. I think it's safe to assume Elwood is not planning to abduct/rape/etc her. It's just a crush, just make sure you don't act on it.

I don't think you guys are getting what constitutes a sex crime. I'm talking about touching, kissing, affection. That can brand you as a child molester for life.

Dennis

I guess it's good that she has no interest in me then, right? I just don't think there's any way she ever would.