Thanks to the transition process, I am coming "out of my shell". People used to tell me that I seemed distant or would ask why can't I just be myself and, I would always wonder how on earth could they tell I was faking! I had spent years re-calibrating and perfecting my "shell" but, no matter how hard I tried to make it seem natural someone would always be able to see right through me. Worse was that even if I made the conscious decision to not be fake, I still couldn't flip that switch and just be myself. I think hormones have been the catalyst to finally make it all work but, now, I am cursed with having to actually be myself. It isn't that hard but it is happening so fast and unexpectedly.

Now, I have this incredible desire to play! I went from being anti-social and an introvert to an extrovert who sparks up conversations with complete strangers. As I talk to people, I realize that I am flirting! And it is so much fun! I know it's frowned upon, but can I squeeze a complete stranger? Please?? I just want to squeeze someone so badly. Not to mention I am incredibly horny but it's not like before. Nowadays, I will get this warm sensation in my belly that spreads all over me and I feel tingly up my spine. I have very little interest in sex but, I want to feel/massage/explore/scratch/wrestle/rub/squeeze/pinch/bite all of the guys I know. I don't just want to, I'm begging them to play with me! A guy I work with wouldn't let me squeeze his bicep after I insisted, so I called him gay. How's that for irony!

Well, I guess this is me. I am damn sure out of my shell and it turns out I'm a horny animal on the inside!

Is this normal? Should I consider this a problem? How do I manage this?

ah the joys of estrogen. 

Da da, da da Da

I'm lovin' it!

Sweetheart, you just described me to a T way back when I was young! In the supposed-male form I was shy, introverted, and socially clumsy. When I started living part time en femme, it didn't take long for the real me to start to appear and I was TOTALLY opposite! That's what repression will do. I was gregarious, funny, a horrible flirt, a tease, full of life and mischief ..... hey wait a minute! I am STILL that way!

(Be careful about getting too physical with the guys! That is often taken the wrong way.)

Welcome home Kristen!

Oh I know all about this one.  I was the type of male that kidded peeps all the time, dumb jokes, etc.

But now as a woman I find my self flirting more and more.  With peeps I know it is blatant, those I don't it is toned way down.  With guys that I know well, I am a touchy kind of person.  But with those I don't know well, not so much.

It's fun and scary for me to be an outgoing type of person.  It is such a change in myself and I sometimes look at something I had just done and say "Was that me?!!"  I'm liking it. 

ot: Janet Lynn, I first read that line under your pic there as omnivorous and looking, lol.

I hear ya, Kristen.  Same thing has happened to me.  I never felt free to break loose and be myself; now I just AM myself and it's so cool!!!


Jay

QuoteThanks to the transition process, I am coming "out of my shell". People used to tell me that I seemed distant or would ask why can't I just be myself and, I would always wonder how on earth could they tell I was faking! I had spent years re-calibrating and perfecting my "shell" but, no matter how hard I tried to make it seem natural someone would always be able to see right through me. Worse was that even if I made the conscious decision to not be fake, I still couldn't flip that switch and just be myself. I think hormones have been the catalyst to finally make it all work but, now, I am cursed with having to actually be myself. It isn't that hard but it is happening so fast and unexpectedly.

Yep I think it's normal. I've heard several girls talk about that and the same thing happened to me. It's like you you wake up
and start feeling. Everything is more fun and sad things are more sad. Laughter comes easily and you're more playful.
Everything is to the extreme. And for many they suddenly realize that guys are not your equal anymore but something to
touch, watch and enjoy. You want them to notice you. You want their attention. Yep... your not the first, just enjoy.

And have fun but be careful.

Amanda

Quote from: Kristen on October 29, 2008, 12:36:30 AM
Thanks to the transition process, I am coming "out of my shell". People used to tell me that I seemed distant or would ask why can't I just be myself and, I would always wonder how on earth could they tell I was faking! I had spent years re-calibrating and perfecting my "shell" but, no matter how hard I tried to make it seem natural someone would always be able to see right through me. Worse was that even if I made the conscious decision to not be fake, I still couldn't flip that switch and just be myself. I think hormones have been the catalyst to finally make it all work but, now, I am cursed with having to actually be myself. It isn't that hard but it is happening so fast and unexpectedly.

Now, I have this incredible desire to play! I went from being anti-social and an introvert to an extrovert who sparks up conversations with complete strangers. As I talk to people, I realize that I am flirting! And it is so much fun! I know it's frowned upon, but can I squeeze a complete stranger? Please?? I just want to squeeze someone so badly. Not to mention I am incredibly horny but it's not like before. Nowadays, I will get this warm sensation in my belly that spreads all over me and I feel tingly up my spine. I have very little interest in sex but, I want to feel/massage/explore/scratch/wrestle/rub/squeeze/pinch/bite all of the guys I know. I don't just want to, I'm begging them to play with me! A guy I work with wouldn't let me squeeze his bicep after I insisted, so I called him gay. How's that for irony!

Well, I guess this is me. I am damn sure out of my shell and it turns out I'm a horny animal on the inside!

Is this normal? Should I consider this a problem? How do I manage this?

Not a problem at all, welcome to your much-delayed girlhood

Its never too late to have a happy childhood.

In the meantime, I've alerted the media in your area in case your wacky antics, hijinxs, and shenanigans are worth a photo spread.

Quote from: Kristen on October 29, 2008, 12:36:30 AM
A guy I work with wouldn't let me squeeze his bicep after I insisted, so I called him gay. How's that for irony!

I wanna start off by saying I am very happy for you that finding yourself has increased your confidence so. That is truly a good thing. Welcome to Puberty: The Way It Should Have Been! It's hard to balance the processes you should have gone through then with responsibilities now. Us guys have our own version of this same deal .

Also as a gay man, I don't appreciate you calling him gay for having boundaries. It is well known that all us gay men are sluts ;P

No I'm joking; Tetanus and I are monogamous. I just didn't want to be mister man lecturing miss woman expecting her to be all meek and blah blah blah.  CONGRATS AGAIN sweetie!

Kristen, wow!

You've just brought my hopes up 1000x percent.  At a fundamental, deep level, I am not sure if I'm a guy or girl, or something in between... but I've somehow managed to find and frequent these boards a lot over the past 6 months, so something must be up...

Right now in my life, I feel like I'm behind a GIANT wall that I can't see over, and that I've come to the wall, and can't go any further, and can't really figure out how to get past this wall, so that I can resume living my life...  I'm becoming unhappier and unhappier living as a male, and yet, since I'm emotionally dead inside, I can't really picture myself as a girl at all.  But, again, something must be up because if I didn't have these feelings I wouldn't take such interest in these boards..

I'm seeing a gender therapist for the first time this week.  My last therapist was great but didn't have any knowledge of transgender concerns.  Can't wait to talk with this therapist about hormones..maybe they will be a catalyst for my emotional awakening!  and maybe for accepting myself as a woman...!?!?

So glad you started this post, thanks! and I'm really happy for you!!