I have been working on this for a while now and I need to get it off my chest.

The problem with chat rooms is that they are very clickish.  I have been on ours a couple of times and I have been doing the IM chat.  But it is getting to where I just sit here and try to make friends, but it seems like I am being ignored.

All I want is to make friends that I can chat with, but I get ignored when I make a comment.  I get more responses here in the forum than on any chat.  Sometimes I feel like crying because I can't seem to make friends and it makes me all the more lonely.

I guess I am destined to be alone the rest of my life and that is fine, because I have always been alone.  I know it has a lot to due with the years of hiding my true self.  Just for awhile I wish I had friends that I could talk to.  Peg is OK, but I sometimes want to talk to anyone other than her.  She some times just can't understand.

Well I am going to go and cry myself to sleep.

I don't bother with chatting or IM. I have like one friend that I actually talk to on IM out of 4 people. Even then, I only come on IM about once every three millennium.

If you're anything like me, those type of activities are just boring. If you don't click with the people, what is the point of trying?

*gives Janet a big hug*

I tend to be chat and IM-phobic, but moreso with chatrooms. I can't keep up. By the time I've thought of what to say, the conversation's moved on to something completely different and what I was going to say ends up being completely irrelevant, so I say nothing.

I actually got kicked out of one once because the owner thought I was ignoring him... which I wasn't, I just didn't have time to write what I wanted to say before he decided to give me the boot.

That was my first, and largely my last meaningful experience with the world of chat.

You're a great person, Janet. That's blindingly obvious. And maybe some of the reason people respond more here is because they have more time to compose their replies than in a chatroom environment where, in my embryonic experience, you often have to type faster than you can think.

Don't be discouraged, honey, okay? *extra hug*

I can't type or think because of Leiandra's avatar!

er...um...gahhh...wowwwww

OMG Janet, when were you in chat??? You need to let me know when you are going to be in there and I'll make sure you don't get ignored, that goes for everyone. I pride our chat on being very inclusive for new members. Seriously, pm me next time and let me know when you are going to be in there Meghan

Janet,

I saw you in the chat room but I was working at the time. We will look after you and we are a friendly in chat, give it some time.

Alice

The chat is cliqueish, but it opens up once you have been around a while.

Any social group is wary of new people, and that goes away in time.

Please come back, if im around, ill make a point to say hi

I usually only use IM at work, when it's necessary to quickly ask a coworker for help on something. Even then, it's rare.

I tried IRC chat once, and just didn't get it. I prefer message boards, I guess. The lag time give me time to think before I post something. Seeing as how I don't think all that fast, this lag time serves me well.

I really have no idea what was going on at the time you came in, but maybe you just need to come in several times and at different times of the day.

Chat is normally a pretty friendly group.

Sarah L.

There are times when the chat room is quite lively, or perhaps another channel is busy, when people come in they are not immediately acknowledged.  I know I do this sometimes, even to people whom I consider friends in #Chat - we all get distracted sometimes.

If that happens to anyone, my advice would be to sit tight and wait for the roar to die down, as it invariably does, then speak up.  Or, if you don't have time for that, just come back later.  Switching to another, quieter channel might be a strategy to try too - when someone joins another channel, the chat's bot will announce it in the main channel and if there are any ops around, they will go to the channel in question and talk to you.

There are times when #chat is quite dead, without operator coverage or active chatters.  There's nothing we can do to about the chat getting quiet but we can improve operator coverage by volunteering to help the chat staff.  Good staff people are always welcome!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

Thank you all for your responses.  I think that because I was never good with groups because of my GID, I was just being stand offish. I will come back to chat at the times I have free time.  That is mainly why I never have been on the chats.

Love to my family.

I have only chatted in our rooms once, while I did feel a bit odd it was more because I had no idea what the ettiqueete was. I also was delaying in saying things so they came up on the screene when people had moved on. I did feel welcome though and plan to do it again. I just haven't had time to read the rules yet. I have only  PMd 2 people it was one up until this weekend. They PMd back and all was good. The ettiquette there also scares me alot. Are they suppose to be short PM's or long, I tend to drone on in them...
I hope you have good experiences in the future on chat here. I felt welcome and the awkwardness I felt was more in my court. Please give it another try there are very kind people here in the chat area.
Myles

Thanks for starting this thread, JL. I actually came to this forum thinking of starting a thread to explain what goes wrong when I enter the chatroom. I have no idea how to join in any conversation. The times I've tried to say anything--either responding to what someone said, or to say anything of my own-- I get ignored. And whatever it is scrolls out of view pretty fast.

I really don't get how it works. Lately I just sign in, say "Hi," and after a while say "Bye" and leave. I'm not being standoffish. I've always been shy. I don't have a fear of talking to people-- I have a fear of being ignored if I speak to someone. I have mostly gotten over my shyness IRL. But somehow in the chatroom it comes back full force.

It's an environment I'm not used to, and the fast pace is uncomfortable for me. Every time I look in, I have no idea what the conversation is about, all I see are fragmentary words flitting past that I can't connect into any meaning because I missed how it began. My brain can't piece together any coherent line of thought in what looks like a stream of random disconnected words.

I never know how to jump in and take part and be included. I usually can't make head or tail of what's going on. I guess I just don't get what a chatroom is good for. Sorry.

*Big Hug*

Janet, I have always found that chat rooms are clicky. I have decided to keep out of them.

It is hard to make new friends. But I have found that you get much more diffrent peoples views
posting on the forum.

Sorry about making you feel bad babe!

Which one of the chat staff members wants to work up a etiquette guide for new chat members

Quote from: Hypatia on December 11, 2008, 03:53:48 AM
Thanks for starting this thread, JL. I actually came to this forum thinking of starting a thread to explain what goes wrong when I enter the chatroom. I have no idea how to join in any conversation. The times I've tried to say anything--either responding to what someone said, or to say anything of my own-- I get ignored. And whatever it is scrolls out of view pretty fast.

That sounds about right yeah. I wouldn't worry too much though Janet. I've met a few good friends through here. We start PM'ing each other, and eventually we start IM'ing. Chatrooms are scary and confusing though. I've tried the Susan's one a few times, but yeah, I cannae keep up either.

~Simone.

Awww! Janet!

I'm in there all the time, and I always do my best to make sure nobody is ignored... (And I'm sure the other members want everyone to feel welcome too!)

You should stop in sometime when I'm there.

I have to agree with Leia, I'm totally new to chat and found that I was just not just not fast enough first time round, plus I felt like I need to be watching the screen like a hawk to keep up. 

By comparison, I can reply to forum posts while still doing my other work...

I'll probably give it another go soon, once I get through some of this "paperwork" I need to shift before Christmas....So be warned Team!....I'll Be Back !

Chrissty