Sometimes you sound very philosophical Steph.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on June 24, 2006, 08:19:21 PM
Chynna, why do you need the transsexual title to be a good human? 

Insisting that you are transsexual is irrelevant and an individual choice.

I don't but it is the best word any one can use to describe Me It is certainly relevant for that is the basis of my life and for me, you or anybody to deny me that relevancey is for them to deny me as a person

QuoteI'm glad that you are "proud" to have been born as a male.

Whoa...sister back up! LOL I never stated or proclaimed that if your going to use that statment at least say I am proud to be born a Transsexual for I was never a male!!

QuoteThe past is the past and we pick up what we need to from that and move on.  I look to the present and the future,

Touchy subject there for me the past is the past????My past is filled with years of sexual abuse by the hands of family members, & strangers a past where I was molested by close family members and 6-7 of my mothers boyfriends simply because I was a "boy with a girls body...

The past try having your mouth duck taped by your uncle while he penatrates you repeatadly while whisper in your ear "so you want to be a woman..Im going to turn you into one!" knowing everytime your mother would drop you off there when she had a date that this scenerio was going to take place.

then when you do try to leave a past such as mines you realize your past is still the present when you begin to associate or identify SEX for Love and will sleep with anyman who is willing to provide that attention or "what you think in your mind" is love ...To this day I have problems maintaining any type of emotional\sexual relationship with anyone because I don't know what real love is or have a problem Identify what real love is

A past where your  is kicked repeatadly on several different occasions to the brink of death simply because a man found his manhood threaten by being sexually attract to you...Lying in a unconcouse state glad that you are finally dead and the pain of your existance is over...only to wake up in a hospital bed with your mother starring at you as if to say "this is your fault you made your bed now lay in it!"

I take sleeping pills which prevent me from enter deep sleeps so I wont dream because everytime I do I have nightmares about poeple I know and don't know sexually abuse me.
shyt like that you can't ignore or leave in the past that is reality period point blank!
So many incidents that I wont post them here because i dont want to seem like somebody telling of a heroic one-timeincident they had for the next thirty years, rather than moving on and trying to do another heroic deed... my heroic deed is the fact that I remember to survive the present yet still percevere to see the future!

the past....LOL being infected with HIV because a man has "A problem"
Yeah I think I can move forward the day I no longer have to take 8 pills a day for an incurable diesease which the side effects are unimaginable and some would say worse then the diesease itself. a diesease that will one day be the primary factor in my death...unless im lucky enough to get shot in the head or hit by a truck....But hey thats to easy of an ending for a person such as myself so I have to come to terms with the fact that I will dye painfully in a hospital bed.
Past..oh wait I need to remember that every time I get a common cold I end up in a hospital for days at a time because this diesaese seems to turn it into ammonia.

you speak of leaving the past in the past but for me time has no bounds and I seem to exist at all points  past, present & future all at once

You may be able to forget the past or simply take what you need from that and move on and for that I TRULY ENVY AND ADMIRE YOU! it must be a remarkable thing to simply forget or not remember what once was...But for an individual such as myself it just isn't feasable or practicle...for me to deny my past is for to deny that I am....

CHYNNA

PS Please dont think I took your post offensively I respect and admire any woman whom can speak her mind and we will always be sisters on opposite side of the country and opposite side of the spectrum at times but regardless were still sisters due to our common bonds so Much luv!...Besides this is what I call true therapy...by the way someone please tell Steph about rule # 60 ...two drink maximium while posting!! any body know who the designated Admin is?

The heroic deed I was referring to was transitioning from one sex to another.  You however, have gone through much more peril and facing a past that you cannot ignore seems to be an inevitability for you.  I am truly sorry that anybody should have to endure such a life in addition to dealing with gender dysphoria.  You would probably respond to that, as most people who have made it through a particularly challenging situaltion or life with: "Don't be sorry, it has made me a better person".  And I would have to agree Chynna, you are a better person.

Melissa

Hey everyone,

Quote from: Chynna
you speak of leaving the past in the past but for me time has no bounds and I seem to exist at all points  past, present & future all at once

I wanna say something here that I personally think is really important. We have a choice, every second we are awake, about who we are. We do not have to be held prisoner to our pasts that we can not change.  No matter how crappy your life has been, or no matter how good it has been, it has nothing to do with what is going to happen, unless you choose to let it.

If I can never be more than I have been in my past, and my life can never get better than it has been, only because it has been, than get my bags, I'm checkin out now.  I can remain angry the rest of my life about what has happened in my life, or how distressing it can be growing up in the wrong body. I can spend the rest of my life thinking about that, or I can think about how things are going to be from now on.

I never suggest we forget our past, it is indeed the tapestry of who we are. To unravel one thread is to let the entire tapastry fall apart.  We are who we are, but we are not bound by our pasts. IMHO

Love always,
Elizabeth