Hi, Jen!

Welcome to Susans!  I think most of us start out being confused one way or another.  Personally, I think it's pretty normal to be confused.  A lot of us have seen or are seeing a counselor to help us understand these feelings.  It may also help with some of the anger you said you are feeling.

Fortunately, you have come upon a site where the men and women here are some of the absolute best people you will ever find.  Let's walk a few miles together.  The road is a lot more friendly that way.

Chaunte