Thinking more about spouses and coming out to them

http://comingouttrans.wordpress.com/2008/11/25/thinking-more-about-spouses-and-coming-out-to-them/
11/25/2008

In a previous post, I made the statement "Spouses have the hardest road to travel when a spouse comes out".  This is something I'd love to talk about for a moment, from a trans-person's point of view (and it sort-of ties into another recent posting, "I'm Still Me").  (Note: when I say "she" in what follows, it's my own experience coloring this.)

When you come out to your wife/spouse/girlfriend after years of hiding, it's a huge change for them.  So few people consider gender identity as anything other than tied to physical characteristics (okay, genitalia).  Your spouse probably has no idea what this means.  What your spouse needs is some time to understand this - not an infinite amount, but maybe a few weeks or a couple of months.