I have been fighting this since I was 14 (now 36). I have forced myself to adapt to my body and hide this feeling for years. So much so that last year before I turned 36 I came out and finally accepted who I am. I told a few friends and my mom and started seeing a therapist, started hormones, started laser hair removal and started taking classes to become a nurse. Everyone was shocked but supportive. This lasted for almost 6 month then I repressed it all. Cut my hair short stopped hormones and started doing weights again. Well for the past 2 month I have been returning to my desire to become the girl I am. These feelings have come back even stronger and I am starting to come to the realization that these feeling will never go away and will always haunt me until I allow myself to accept and become who I am. I have always been scared to transition because of my desire to be accepted as a women. I am 6 ft tall, wear a size 12 mens and weigh 250 lbs. I want to be in the 150-160 range. I have started excersicing excessively cutting out all weights. I luckily have always looked like my mom so I believe once I lose weight that I will look somewhat passable. My problem or fear is wanting so bad to be on hormones but scared that if I do it will cause my weight loss to be so much harder. Are there any girls out there that can give me some advice on how to proceed. 

I went through almost the exact same situation when I was about 25 and ever since then I have balooned up in weight to a high of 240 pounds (a 100 pound gain from when I was en femme 80% of the time!!). I am back down to about 220, but right now I am struggling with my weight as well, and it has led to some very bad habbits that I wont get into here.

one tip I hear given a lot about weight training and working out in that manner is that stretching is very important. I've been considering trying some yoga but then I remember that I am naturally lazy.

I do remember that when I was on hormones, that my eating habbits changed dramaticaly for the better. I'm sure it was a psychological thing with me, but I was eating very healthy and in small portions.  I"m hoping that when I start again (soon I hope!) that I can get back into a more healthy life style and avoid the fast food traps and soda all the time.

Hugs,
~beth

Hi yeah i've heard that about yoga as well. I really want to start doing it but until I get back on hormones because am trying to lose muscle as well. I have been doing anywhere from an hour to two hours of cardio. I had a very hard time losing weight when I was on hormones and got discouraged. I did'nt gain any weight but I didn't lose any either so this time around I am going to lose the weight first. I don't want to get discouraged again and feel I am better off holding off for a few month until I get closer to my range. Hopefully it comes off fast though(i lost almost 10lbs this week). Because I want to finally be happy and start living the way I always wanted to live.

Here's what worked for me for losing weight.

* Exercise! Just don't pump iron or do upper-body exercises. Walk/jog/run. Do situps, leg lifts, and so on. Here's a tip for making time on a threadmill tolerable: listen to audio books. Yes, they're flipping expensive, but the public libraries in my neck of the woods have large collections of unabridged ones. You may get well-muscled legs, but that's better than bulging biceps.

* Use stairs, not elevators.

* Watch everything you eat. Cut down on fat. Know the calorie content of whatever you eat, and set a reasonable goal: probably about 1800-2000 calories/day.

* Drop butter and margarine from your diet completely. Even a small smear has a disgusting number of calories.

* Eat fruit snacks, not carb snacks.

* Don't expect to lose weight quickly. It's dangerous to lose more than 1-2 lbs/week.

Thanks MarySue

Well, the weight is one thing, but I'm more concerned about your "cold feet" the first time.
Have you resolved it all in your own mind what happened and why it won't happen again?
Just asking.

I have resolved it. I was so at ease before when i was on hormones. I was happy and proud but I got so scared of losing everything and starting over so I also was so discouraged with weighing so much and trying so hard without results. I really want to go foward and start living my life as I am. Though this time around I am taking a different approach so that I can go foward once and for all. My weight is a big issue it has been the main reason why I did not transition 10 years ago. I really believe that I have come far enough in my maturity to sucessed this time around. I have overcome many fears and believe I am ready to fiinally live the way I was always meant to live.

waist reduction


http://uk.planetout.com/msgbrd/read.html?board=441&id=263728

an old post of mine.

read the whole thing a few times to better understand your body and how it works.. Oh and they don't sell those strong diet pills anymore but they do have others that work as well but you really need to change your living situation your living in a place where its too comfortable for you to stay heavy.

I live on a farm now doing lots of work which keeps me thin. Otherwise i could explode in size.. I had to put myself in a position where i was forced to change my diet and ways.. I have always had to do this.. So i have done it.. you have to do it too..

Quote from: postoplesbian on December 20, 2008, 08:08:04 AM
waist reduction


http://uk.planetout.com/msgbrd/read.html?board=441&id=263728

an old post of mine.

read the whole thing a few times to better understand your body and how it works.. Oh and they don't sell those strong diet pills anymore but they do have others that work as well but you really need to change your living situation your living in a place where its too comfortable for you to stay heavy.

I live on a farm now doing lots of work which keeps me thin. Otherwise i could explode in size.. I had to put myself in a position where i was forced to change my diet and ways.. I have always had to do this.. So i have done it.. you have to do it too..

Thank you, postoplesbian, I found your link inspirational.I agree, walking's cool.

I've only read you link once, but it's copied as text for further enjoyment. I recently got a security job where I easily walk about 2 miles each 7 hour shift. Also, the town I live in, it is both quicker, and easier, (parking), to walk most times. Helps fuel economy too. I've lost 12-14 pounds in two months. I've cut down on the starches, which I love, and I think that has also helped. With your advice, I think I can approach a wieght I had about 15 years ago. I only need to lose about 20#. I'd really like to hit about 140, (size 8 for me?) but that would take a lot of dedication.

thanks.

First, I'm not on hormone therapy, so I can't speak of its effect on weight control. I am just now returning to being "me".  When I fight who and what I am, one of the things I do is some very serious weight lifting/body building. Taking all the proteins and supplements necessary to bulk up and be "masculine".  Five weeks ago I weighed 205 lbs.  I now weigh 180lbs.  I've been through this more than once and realize the importance of losing weight in a manner that is safe in regards to my physical well-being.  Cardio exercise.  Diet.  I quit eating cakes/pies/cookies and drinking sodas long ago, so that part was easy.  To lose the weight I do cardio 4x a week (3 minimum) for 35 minutes on an elliptical machine.  That burns just over 500 calories (this will vary from person to person) which is my goal.  I watch my calorie intake with each meal.  It's probably best that you talk to a professional about what is a safe intake for you, as I'm sure it varies from person to person.  But this procedure works for me and has brought me down a couple dress sizes
I meant to add that from what I've heard, hrt can cause you to gain weight.  Your fatty tissue will also redistribute itself to give you that female form.  Since you plan to be on hormones, consult your medical professional also for some weight loss advice that will work with your diet.