Quote from: mina.m->-bleeped-<-ie link=topic=52538.msg324802#msg324802 date=1230532508

Quote from: Osiris on December 28, 2008, 11:40:40 PMPhones would also cause a lot of anxiety (not good when my job involves answering phones).

OMG yes. I still can't make a phonecall without MAKING myself do it, and I will try to palm that pohone off on ANYBODY else so I don't have to answer it.

Mina.

Yeah, the sound of a phone ringing still gives me a jolt of panic.

I am still introverted, but that is more from a lack of money to go anywhere.  But soon that will change I hope.

Janet

i'm not socially isolated, i have a fair number of friends that i hang out with often, go to parties most weekends, i'm usually out doing random things. but i'm also an introvert, i enjoy spending time by myself, i usually wake up in the morning and just chill for a couple hours by myself before i start my day and enjoy it quite a bit. it also takes me a really long time to feel comfortable around people, when i go to clubs or parties i'm always with at least one other person i know, otherwise i would hardly talk

Right now, yes. I go through periods of extreme extroversion and extreme introversion. These periods typically last from a few months to a few years. when in the extroversion stage, I surround myself with both friends and strangers 24/7.

Right now, I'm in the isolation stage. The last time I was social was several months back when I dated a girl for a while. Girls come with all sorts of obligations, like going out, meeting her friends, etc. Now that it's over, it's back to happy isolation.

Well I socialise at work, and I socialise at college and I meet up with a few different groups of friends every week, and me and my landlady chat - so I am pleased to dive back into my room by myself for a bit.

I must say that it's quite nice that this forum topic has allowed alot of us to fully open up about our fears of being social or actually being able to find a social group that we can fit neatly into . For me , It's not that I don't want to find friends it's more like what I enjoy isn't most people's interests . I am very simple love to shop , go to a coffee shop and talk or go for a walk or watch horror movies but im not the type that's really into partying or bars or clubs as I don't drink really , don't smoke , don't do any drugs and definatley can't dance lol . Im making a vow to figure out what it is about me that seems to lack for me not to be able to make the transition of having friends from online into a face to face meeting . It's very nerve wracking indeed . But it's also rewarding . Who knows maybe some toronto people will get to know me and hang out , I can only hope that this year will be better ! fingers crossed . Thanks to all who posted as well it's really great to see im not alone we're all in this together !

Quote from: Karma86 on December 27, 2008, 09:04:13 PM
I'm curious has anyone ever been so introverted most of their life that they find it harder and harder to break free of this void of emptiness?

You're assuming being alone is bad and causes feelings of emptiness? Maybe for some people, but some people are comfortable being alone most of the time and only need social contact as they go through life or a group  of close friends. I'm one of those. I only very rarely feel lonely or "emptiness" with my life and situation. I have far too many things to do than feel that way. And I have the support I need for my transistion and trust my intuition.

This is describe in Anneli Rufus' book "Party of One". So, while the feelings you describe are fair, don't assume it's universal.

As for telephones, why not use an answering machine or voice mail, and remember you can always turn the ringer off. I do both and tell folks to leave a message and I'll call you back. I hate phones but know they're a requirement of life, but it's my choice how I use it.

As a youngster I had severe anxiety about social situations. I always felt like I stuck out in any situation, and found myself with nothing interesting to say when introduced to people, or I would say something stupid. I hated parties and any other social situations. So I engaged in solitary activities like reading and hiking in the woods and had few friends. I was always amazed when people would try to befriend me.

Now that i'm (much) older i've overcome the anxiety for the most part. I often travel to new places for my work, a thought that in the past would send me into an anxious panic but now I just get it done. Also, i've found out that people don't automatically recoil from me in social situations. I try to be well read so that I have conversation starters at the ready. I still have few friends and prefer to hang out at the house rather than go out to clubs, etc. I can usually navigate most any social situation, but it's still uncomfortable.

There's another good book about it called Solitude by Anthony Storr

Some people (like me) genuinely prefer being alone.

Alone =/= lonely.

"Being social" still exhausts me. I greatly prefer one-on-one interactions to groups and end up needing my "alone time" after things like holidays.

My childhood was spent among books, documentaries, movies and cartoons; adults loved me. Well, the ones that didn't want me to have girlfriends or play soccer at least.

I can fake being social (since I'm quite fearless and I've taught myself to be so) for a while, but eventually the overpowering feeling is that most people bore me to death. Not a super genius or anything though, just strange.

I don't find people boring, i find online people can be very dull, but there is so often other stories playing under the eyes of real people, can be quite interesting.

I don't feel like I'm introverted as I am not a shy person. I do not have any friends only aquaintences at work. I don't get invited anywhere. I am married and she is my only friend. We are only friends now. I don't know how to act in social situations, I do my best to fake it. When my partner is at work and I have the day off, I have no one to go and have social time with. I go to movies, coffee and anyother place, by my self. I don't know what I have done wrong but I know it doesn't have to do with my past as being transexual.

Quote from: Pica Pica on December 29, 2008, 11:48:24 AM
I don't find people boring, i find online people can be very dull, but there is so often other stories playing under the eyes of real people, can be quite interesting.

Oh it's not an online/RL deal for me, it's generalized.

Ive always been pretty introvert.

seems to be a common theme with all of you's too and beyond work i also spend alot ot time alone. I'd rather be spending it inside with a girlfriend anyday but all in good time.

Sometimes you just have to be patient or really push yourself out of the door to make the effort i guess.

Quote from: soldierjane on December 29, 2008, 11:41:42 AM
I can fake being social (since I'm quite fearless and I've taught myself to be so) for a while

I guess I can fake being social too as none of my family seems to realize the overwhelming anxiety i feel in social situations. I fake being fearless as well.  For me its my stubborness that lets me do things socially.  If I say I 'm going to do something, I have to do it. I can't go backwards so I have to go forwards.

Quote from: Pica Pica on December 29, 2008, 11:48:24 AM
I don't find people boring, i find online people can be very dull, but there is so often other stories playing under the eyes of real people, can be quite interesting.

That only happens when the observer inhabits their own little world and romanticizes everything.

I used to be extremely introverted and still am in some ways. I still like to be introverted and alone from time to time but also because of my interests(especially in college) I find it easier to be social because I'd miss out on a lot more fun than I already do.

Yes I am, and have been.
Very hard etc.
But now I have a group of friends like me(Not the CD Part etc.)who dont judge, hold grudges, or go with the crowd and feel right in. So theres a place for everyone.

I'm very socially isolated. In my life people have not been too nice to me and it hurt so I just isolate myself from people. The only people I talk to are my parents and brother and they irritate the hell out of me. I yearn to interact with people but since I can't live as the gender I want to be I can't socialize well. I can't introduce myself with my chosen name because I'm too afraid that I'm going to get weird looks like "You're not a boy" or something. I'm thinking of picking the name Mola just because it sounds Androgynous and I at least look a little androgynous. Sorry I trailed off...but yeah I'm really socially introverted