Quote from: Leslie on December 31, 2008, 05:34:51 PM

Quote from: Tink on December 28, 2008, 07:16:16 PM
I've always been 100% straight (pre-transition, pre-hrt, during-hrt, post-transition, post-SRS), meaning that I am attracted to men exclusively.  I am not sexually/romantically attracted to women at all, have NEVER been with one, and I don't plan to.  Additionally, I am one of those people who think that sexual orientation is innate, immutable, and personally I don't think that any amount of HRT could "change" it. 

tink

I'm with Tink here.  I'm strictly heterosexual too and I don't support any notion that sexual orientation can be changed.  It can be denied, or repressed, but not changed. And that's because it is what it is.  It's the position of the psychological community that one's orientation is an internal reality that is simply part of someone's being. The sexual urge is something that is 'programed' into the psyche from early on.

Some say we're all born 'bisexual'. What a load of nonsense. Babies are not sexual, especially when they are going through developmental stages and learning how to eat, walk, talk, socialise and learn motor and coordination skills. I never remembered experiencing attraction as a baby or child, only during my adolescent and adult years! And those who say if you've at least had the thought, you are bi, well, how can they answer for 'most; or 'all' people? They can't. Absolutely impossible! How can they claim to know people's mind and hearts if they're not inside their head?  I'd also like to add that if one is capable of becoming 'functionally bisexual', that is NOT a true bisexual orientation if s/he is not experiencing the feelings / attractions that define bisexuality. Makes perfect sense, but some are too immature in their thinking to own up the real truth.

I wonder then how you can claim (not being in everyone's heads) that sexuality is immutable for other people and that they are only deluding themselves. Some people's sexual preference is very strongly set (such as yours or our resident Fairy Princess' or even mine), but for others it certainly feels more fluid. I've known such people.
Don't know, I think that whole thing about others being "too immature" to accept the truth is actually something quite immature to say.

Not sure here i may be the strange brew here but i have always hated my thang and never wanted another near me. I also thought i would only want a so called GG genetic woman before transitioning,,, (if thats real) but i found i love me so now i love other like me. be they male or female i have an attraction to both FTM's and MTF's who are full time and passable and who love themselves. However, i do not like those who are like me being TS who are sexually crazed. I need and desire true love and that takes time as two people grow together so yes i have been single and alone for over 10 yrs now and i am in no hurry to just do it with anybody.. However, i have many wet dreams and if i have a feeling that something real might happen i can find myself soaking wet but its been a few yrs since i have had that happen because i have been fooled by TS's who say they want love while just really wanting to hop in the sack with me. So alas i wait and i am now a 10 yr old who has grown and matured and has a sense of self that she loves and respects.. Yet its hard to find another with this kind of self love and self respect to have a fully healthy relationship with.

PS: I have tried writing men but as soon as they responded i had to admit i just liked them as people and was totally turned off to them sexually. I also have lost most of my attraction to so called GG's not sure why but i have..

EDITED TO ADD: Whats funny is i am listed as the liberated lover here = Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.

The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."

In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.



http://www.helloquizzy.com/results/the-lover-style-profile-test/?fromCGI=1&var_partner%2bfocus=16&var_aggressiveness=14&var_adventurousness=12

We are a diverse and multi-functional group.  Some of us hate our born genitalia, others of us love it.  Some of us are attracted to our same sex after transition, others of us are attracted to the opposite sex.  Some of us do not have SRS and are happy without it, others of us are miserable unless we can have it, and others of us have had it and are very happy, and others of us have had SRS and are still miserable.

To say that one way is the only way is to say that there is only one way to get from my house to the Mall across the City.

Please let us be respectful of others, especially when their way might be different from yours?

OK?

Quote from: soldierjane on December 31, 2008, 05:54:48 PM
I wonder then how you can claim (not being in everyone's heads) that sexuality is immutable for other people and that they are only deluding themselves. Some people's sexual preference is very strongly set (such as yours or our resident Fairy Princess' or even mine), but for others it certainly feels more fluid. I've known such people.
Don't know, I think that whole thing about others being "too immature" to accept the truth is actually something quite immature to say.

I was talking about the people who say that 'everyone' is born bisexual.  I'm really sick of this dumb logic that everybody swings both ways. Attraction (emotion / mind) is a nontangible energy that cannot be measured so how can they conclude anything without getting into each and every person's head that we're all bisexual?  I bet dollars to donuts it's immature tweens and teens, and maybe some ignorant adults who are saying this because I don't believe for one minute that an intelligent, mature, educated person would make such a sweeping generalisation about the population as a whole.

What's even crazier are those who say that everybody is 'functionally bisexual'! So basically what they are trying to say (or at least what I'm trying to interpret) is that even if one is NOT attracted to both sexes in any way, shape or form, they are bisexual anyway if they are at least capable of it. That's implying potential, which means nothing unless acted upon. It's like saying a window washer is a rock climber simply because the potential is there. This example can also be used for bisexuality. According to their warped thinking, a person is bisexual if the potential is there. Totally false! They can use the stupid potential argument all they want, but if one is not wired to be bi, they will never be bi!

Functional bisexuality has nothing to do with emotional (mind-based) attractions stemming from the brain. A non-bisexual person may be able to position him/herself in a bisexual scenario from a mechanical standpoint but if the dual attraction is not felt from the deepest, inner core of their being, they are not bisexual!

So although I've never lusted after women in my life, according to these shallow brains, I'm bisexual? What a joke. I know I'm not lying to myself. And if they think so, that's their problem. Maybe they should worry about their own lives which must be empty and miserable.  why, oh, why does it concern them so much who is bisexual and who is not? It's none of their business. They are dumber than a bunch of bricks & I stand by that notion. Sorry but it needs to be said.

I disagree with some of that, and have responded on the other thread that you have linked to.

 

Blanche-  You do not need to feel threatened by who I am.  I accept you just as you are, it is just that I believe I have the right to self-identify as I wish just as you do.

I have been living as a woman for 7 years and have had every surgery under the sun except SRS.
And I love my penis and feel very comfortable with it.  The TSs who hate their genitalia are my dear sisters and I love them and they love me.

Let us not build walls.  Love is the answer to everything.

I used to be attracted to women but the only reason I think I was actually with them was out of intense jealousy, and the need to be close to them in a way I could only be if also GG. It was difficult otherwise to get past the casual friend stage and into close friend status. It's funny how they always initiated physical activity. I always wondered if I was bi because I would fantasize about men, but something about it didn't fit and I was rarely attracted to any non-imaginary men until a few years ago. Once I acknowledged my jealousy of women and that I might actually be TS it all made sense, and I got that closeness (friendship) from women that I had wanted, and no longer desired to be with them, infact the thought makes me sick. The only thing the hormones did was to help spark that tingly feeling when I look at a cute guy now. So you could say I'm innately Bi, or that I was repressed but straight (the one I agree with), or that I'm currently a repressed lesbian....but WTF really knows lol.

I don't think you change in your mind as such, I remember when I was going thru transition I wasn't thinking of men or women, I was so caught up in my own gender issues, when my transition was nearly complete I did notice getting a lot of male attention, I then felt this attraction to guys, particularly after srs, I remember my very first BF, feeling the butterflys in my stomach, I now know Im a woman who wants that perfect guy, hold me, give me flowers and look after me.
p

Quote from: Blanche on January 01, 2009, 10:57:01 AM
Nope you can identify as an eggplant for all I care.  Just dont include ME with you.  I don' wanna be like you.  I"m NOT like you in any way shape or form so don't imply you're like me.  Is that too much to ask from the "non-ops" like you and the moderator named Nichole.  Don' think so.  I just don' wanna be thought of as "your group" thats all.  I am not LIKE you and you arent LIKE ME.  thats all there is to it.   Dont want anything to do with you. Pure and simple. thats my right.  Ok?

Why are you here then? This forum has a diverse mix of trans people, and many of us appreciate that aspect, I certainly do. I've learned a lot by listening to and attempting to understand different viewpoints. Perhaps you'd be happier at a forum where there aren't any of "us" around.

respectfully,

Z

I never liked sex and never had a memorable experience even though I have two children. Neither male or female sexually excite me. People are gross and smelly especially without cloths. It is like kissing a toilet. I prefer people at least arm's length.

lesbian till death   

HRT changing sexual orientation = myth.  (I think they busted it on Mythbusters)

Quote from: Leslie on January 01, 2009, 01:02:08 AM

Quote from: soldierjane on December 31, 2008, 05:54:48 PM
I wonder then how you can claim (not being in everyone's heads) that sexuality is immutable for other people and that they are only deluding themselves. Some people's sexual preference is very strongly set (such as yours or our resident Fairy Princess' or even mine), but for others it certainly feels more fluid. I've known such people.
Don't know, I think that whole thing about others being "too immature" to accept the truth is actually something quite immature to say.

I was talking about the people who say that 'everyone' is born bisexual.  I'm really sick of this dumb logic that everybody swings both ways. Attraction (emotion / mind) is a nontangible energy that cannot be measured so how can they conclude anything without getting into each and every person's head that we're all bisexual?  I bet dollars to donuts it's immature tweens and teens, and maybe some ignorant adults who are saying this because I don't believe for one minute that an intelligent, mature, educated person would make such a sweeping generalisation about the population as a whole.

What's even crazier are those who say that everybody is 'functionally bisexual'! So basically what they are trying to say (or at least what I'm trying to interpret) is that even if one is NOT attracted to both sexes in any way, shape or form, they are bisexual anyway if they are at least capable of it. That's implying potential, which means nothing unless acted upon. It's like saying a window washer is a rock climber simply because the potential is there. This example can also be used for bisexuality. According to their warped thinking, a person is bisexual if the potential is there. Totally false! They can use the stupid potential argument all they want, but if one is not wired to be bi, they will never be bi!

Functional bisexuality has nothing to do with emotional (mind-based) attractions stemming from the brain. A non-bisexual person may be able to position him/herself in a bisexual scenario from a mechanical standpoint but if the dual attraction is not felt from the deepest, inner core of their being, they are not bisexual!

So although I've never lusted after women in my life, according to these shallow brains, I'm bisexual? What a joke. I know I'm not lying to myself. And if they think so, that's their problem. Maybe they should worry about their own lives which must be empty and miserable.  why, oh, why does it concern them so much who is bisexual and who is not? It's none of their business. They are dumber than a bunch of bricks & I stand by that notion. Sorry but it needs to be said.

Bravo! Leslie; Well put...every word of it!   Yes," By George ", I think this girl has got it...quite admirable thinking...

Maybe it's too early to say... (I've only been on T for a few weeks) but so far things haven't changed. In fact I was watching this commercial the other day, for this exercise dohickey, for women to develop their pecs, to "firm and lift the bust line". The whooole commercial was just breasts. So, I'm watching it, aware that some people experience shifts in orientation after HRT, feeling absolutely nothing, and I just think to myself "Wow. I am sooooooooo gay." 

I am post-op and I have always preferred the company of other women, especially for sex and intimacy.  That has not changed.  I am post-op M to F.

Wing Walker

I was born asexual & nothing can change that!  I'm post-operative too.

In answer to the question: no.

Well Tink I beleive you have the most wonderful man anyone could hope or dream of having, lucky gal

Well my experience as a kid was pretty well the same a you with other boys. and I was pretty well a loner for my adolescent years until I grew up where I actually was just as much at home with guy friends and women friends as well, usually just as much friends to their wives.

The sexual thing was always awkward and it didn't feel right and it took one abusive relationship and wrecked a second relationship because I couldn't perform or provide what my second mate wanted. So that ended the second relationship and after many years of alcoholic drinking, lets say a long stroll in around the block in the fog I came up for fresh air to discover that I could admire one sex just as equally as I could the other but was not interested in having physical sex with either.

Some time later I discovered who I was and met another TS here on Susan's chat 7 years ago. She also a survivor of physical and mental abuse. We got together 5 years ago and been living together for the past four years. We are both post-op there is much love and intimacy between us but nothing one could call any interest sexually. Maybe that will change in time but it is not realy a big deal at this time in our lives. So I don't really know what one would label our relationship except that we love each other and at this time it has nothing to do with physical sex.

Cindy