I need a haircut which makes me look professional as a guy, but eliminates my sideburns so I can wear a wig and look presentable as a woman.

I know the best thing to do would be to walk into a hair salon and say exactly what I need, but I'm way too shy. I'm hoping I can get some advice on this forum which will either give me an easy solution or bolster my courage.

First of all, I'd love to hear a discussion of what haircuts work. I'm reluctant to shave my head because that wouldn't go over well at the office. Can anyone point me to pictures of professional-looking no-sideburn haircuts that don't require a shaved head?

Second, can anyone give me advice on exactly how to come out to the hairdresser? If I have an exact script in my mind, I might be able to do it, but otherwise I'll probably chicken out and say "Just a normal haircut please".

And third, can anyone suggest a specific salon or hairdresser in the Santa Barbara area? Actually, I travel down to LA on a regular basis, so a referral for a salon anywhere between the San Fernando Valley and Santa Maria would work for me. I would feel much more comfortable with a hairdresser recommended by another T-girl than I would with a hairdresser chosen at random.

-Heidi

Second, can anyone give me advice on exactly how to come out to the hairdresser?

I'd ask the hairdresser how he came out to everybody and use his example to come out to him. 

Check out the local gay rags in the LA area and go to a place listed in there, and tell them what you want.  They are pretty open people, they are hairdressers after all.  In L.A. area to boot.  Find one you like and tell them what you need and ask for their help.  It's what they are all about.

Tekla,

Thanks for the suggestion. I can't explain why, but the prospect of talking to a hairdresser like that scares me to death, even if I know they'll be very accepting.

For some reason, I find it very hard to talk about being a girl while I'm presenting as a boy. It would actually be less scary for me to simply visit the hair salon dressed as a girl. But then I'd have to take off my wig for the haircut and... ugh.

I know that I'll eventually muster the courage to get my haircut one way or another, but if I can find a way to reduce the stress -- by getting a reference to a specific salon, for instance -- it will be easier for me.

-Heidi

Oh, yea, that was such an interesting experience when I did that last fall.
I set up an appointment and when I showed up I asked to talk to him for a few minutes privately about what I was looking for in my cut.  I didn't say anything other than I was growing it out to have it cut in a feminine style and even showed a picture off the internet that matched what I was looking for.  I went in presenting as a guy after a year of letting my hair grow out.  I have no idea what he thinks of what I'm doing but he is very nice about what I want.  He even gives me tips on how to take care of it after telling him I have never done anything like this with my hair before and didn't know how to take care of it and style it.  I was as thorough as I could be with what I wanted even to the point that I said that I didn't want an overnight change in how my hair looked but a gradual change over several months so people could adjust to the change in how I looked.

So I would say to just talk about what you want.  If you don't know everything at least mention what you do know and ask for any suggestions.  I was so worried about that first appointment but there wasn't anything to worry about.  He told me that he has seen much stranger requests, like a woman coming in with her dog and wanting them to have matching haircuts??

GL

Lots of guys don't have sideburns. Get out your sissors and razor and voila!

As for the cut, I would suggest just getting something basic like clippered sides, and short on top that you can mess up or wear in a more professional way.

e.g. - this sans sideburns

Short back and sides. Crew cut. Tell him. what wigs you wear.
The first person I came out to was a gay hairdresser. It's very easy after about two seconds!
Cindy J

I keep my hair short, I have normal male pattern baldness so I need a wig. BTW does male pattern baldness dissapear after HRT?
Cindy James

Ah, Yes.  when I first went to my hairdresser, I was was not quite out full time.  I use to be shy, though far less shy now.  Anyway, I just told her that I was growing my hair out.  When she asked more, I said I was a transexual.  That was 2 years ago and shes still my hairdresser.   OH I went to a ladies salon back then, Of course I still do. ;-)

Beni

i have long hair, and hadnt done anything with it yet.  I really wanted a womens haircut, but was still pretty uncomfortable going out dressed.  So i just made an apointment, went in dressed as a guy, the hairdresser sat me down and asked what i was looking for.  I said "make it girly.  I want a nice feminine haircut.  I have no idea what would look good, but my only requirment is i have to be able to pull the whole thing back in a pony tail"  They looked at me a bit funny and was a bit unsure and asked like "well.. how feminine do you want it"  and i said "well, im transgendered, so go nuts"  AFter that she started suggesting a whole bunch of stuff, and i was like "sounds good, lets do it" and she went to town.  She then proceeded to take extra time to style it all nice and girly for me (she did ask if htat was cool cause she wasnt sure how girly i'd want it while in guy mode that day).  It was an incredibly fun experience.

Anyway, after being sort of long winded i guess it boils down to: ask for what YOU want, and tell them if you need to clarify so they give you exactly what you want.  YOU are paying them and most people dont care.  And if its a special request, they often go out of their way to make it perfect for you, because they know you'll come back (and tip well most likely).  I know its a tough thing to do, but the fun part of transition is finally being able to ask for what you really want.

Thanks so much for the replies. That wasn't long winded, Lizard -- it was an encouraging story.

I'm going to do it this weekend. I don't know where I'll go, but on Saturday I plan to muster my courage and get it done. I'm so nervous!